It’s all well and good to laugh at Kanye West if he were actually in on the joke, but he’s not. In my latest for The Root I write about the apparent breakdown he’s in the middle of and why it’s gotten harder and harder to laugh off his rants.
Kanye West doesn’t need what I’m about to write.
Mostly because he’s not going to see it anyway. (Or read it. Or care.) But someone else who is going through a Kanye-esque moment might read it and finally get the help they need, so here it goes.
A long time ago, before I was diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder, I was at a party at one of my editors’ homes. We were all drinking and laughing and, as usual, I was making myself the center of attention, making people laugh with self-deprecating humor. At one point I went to the bar to get more to drink and one of my editors was there, pouring the liquor, and she said to me, “You know you laugh and laugh and you make jokes, but it isn’t really funny is it?”
For the first time, I felt completely naked. She’d seen through my carefully cultivated façade and knew my truth – that I was someone deeply in pain and deeply unbalanced. It cut at my very being.
And then I went right back to drinking and partying through my breakdown.
Kanye West is partying through his breakdown. We think it’s funny, but it really isn’t.