But the jewelry store dialed 911 and ruined his good time. Why? Because … um … well, they assumed the 6’11” NBA player was some kind of hooligan dead set on robbing them blind, that’s why! And what made them think that? Well, he called the store and asked them what time they closed. And if you already think this sounds pretty fishy, like, maybe the real issue was with Henson’s permanent tan, then you probably came to the same conclusion I did on The Root today — Black People Can’t Do Anything.
Black people can’t seem to do much without the police being called. You can’t be loud. You can’tride a bike. You can’t use an old golf club as a cane. You can’t kiki on the wine train. You can’t do anything without the taint of racism creeping along to stink up what should be pleasant experiences (walking, shopping, cycling, wine—racism ruined wine, y’all!), and no amount of tolerance-scented Febreze will get that odor out once it’s in there. You just have to live with the humiliating smell.
Causing the stench this time were the folks at Schwanke-Kasten Jewelers in Whitefish Bay, Wis., who didn’t want to sell Henson a Rolex because he dared to call the store and ask what time they closed, according to a 911 call obtained by WTMJ-TV. His phone call is allegedly what prompted the jewelers to call the police, lock their doors and pretend to be closed while a bewildered Henson meandered around outside.
According to the 911 call last Monday, the jewelers asked police if they could come to the store because of “suspicious” calls they’d received asking for the closing time. They said the caller didn’t sound like a “legitimate” customer—whatever that means. (It means he “sounded” black, and thus illegitimate. Everyone knows that black people hate nice jewelry and therefore never purchase it ever; therefore, why would they ever be customers? #Sarcasm.)