AverageBro rates the media and the principles involved in “Gates-gate.”
Here’s a sample:
Does anyone else realize just how absurd this Gates/Obama/Crowley nonsense has become? The clock is ticking on Obama’s deadline for a workable healthcare plan before Congress leaves on its August recess. Yet here we are, as a nation, focused on what’s essentially a pissing match between two grown assed men, both of whom might have exercised a bit more self control, and a bit less bravado. The non-story is still leading off news broadcasts, and seems likely to culminate in a planned visit of all involved parties to the White House to shoot the breeze, drank some brews, issue some canned “let’s all just get along” statements, and of course, pose for the obligatory Rose Garden photo op. I can already see the three cheesy, forced smiles right now.
So trivial is the coverage of this story that semi-reputable news outlets are busy pontificating about what kinda beer the three men should drink, and what the symbolic message conveyed in that brand of beer might be.
– Samuel Adams Boston Lager – It’s the hometown brew for Gates and Crowley. Sam Adams is served at the Harvard Faculty Club and the Boston cop bar J.J. Foleys.
– Guinness – The quintessential Irish beer. Crowley is an Irish name, and Gates has some Irish blood. The professor had his DNA traced to learn his lineage and found out he’s a descendant of an Irish king.
– Goose Island Honkers Ale – Known as “Chicago’s craft beer,” it was the President’s local brew during his years in Chi-Town.
– Pabst Blue Ribbon – They can’t drink Budweiser because it’s no longer an American-owned company. They can’t drink Coors or Miller, because they’re owned by staunch Republicans. PBR is the next best thing for an all-American beer.
– Blue Moon Belgian White – Sgt. Crowley was drinking a Blue Moon when Obama called him on Friday. The President told Crowley that he, too, likes Blue Moon.
– Forget beer – “I think a guy like Prof. Gates would like cognac,” said Sam Mitchell, who was drinking a Guinness Saturday at d.b.a., an East Village bar.
No malt liquor, huh? You know someone’s gonna mess around and say something silly to this effect. My money is on Fox News. I can already hear the “c’mon, we were just joking, we’re not racist, we love John Legend!” apology coming.