Solange’s new haircut has been all the hype to the point where it was #3 Trending Topic on Twitter. Folks talked about her hair more than they discussed the Iran Elections & Obama’s new healthcare plan. Sad? Definitely. Entertaining? Absolutely. So my letter is to Beyonce’s shadow Solange.
As of last week, I’m a new fan of yours. Yes, I’ve always thought you’ve tried way too hard to be president of the “I’m not Beyoncé” Club. You are indeed too extra at times and your fashion choices are often mad questionable. Sometimes, I wonder if you look in the mirror before you step out the house because you can’t possibly think those banana pants you wore were fierce. And the makeup… Plus, the entire Knowles Clan just don’t curl all the way over for me.
Oh wait. What was my show of support again? Ah yes…
You recently cut off all your hair and mostly, you’ve gotten negative feedback from people. Folks have roasted you endlessly, relentlessly and oft times, hilariously. I even admit that I chuckled when someone said you now looked like Reggie Miller. Ok fine, I cackled loudly. I’m sure Papa Knowles is somewhere brushing his ‘stache and plotting the demise of Twitter for facilitating the roast of his dear Solo.
Even Soulja Boy & Bow Wow had the nerve to make fun of you. Until SouljaBoy stops looking like Spectacular Jr., he can’t clown you. And until Bow Wow can ride the grown folks’ coasters at 6 Flags Great America, he needs not roast anybody. Bofa’ them need two “FOOL SADDOWN” fitted caps.
When I first heard you cut your hair, I gave an instant side-eye because I thought you were following in LaLa, Cassie and Pon De Fo’head’s footsteps with that tacky shaved on the sides haircut. I know Foghorn Leghorn is somewhere PISSED at them for swagger jacking. But I saw your picture and said “WHEW!” Well, I’m here to say “Kudos, Solange. Effing Kudos.” I support your new haircut. As a short hair aficionado myself, who has kept my hair short for the last 9 years, I give you the thumbs up. I say everyone should go ultra short as least once in their lifetime. It can be easy to hide behind a busted hairhat, but if you can be cute with no hair to cover that huge forehead or that odd looking ear then you get mad props from me. No offense to those who are hairhat aficionados.
Everyone isn’t Halle Berry but everyone also doesn’t need to have hair down their back either. I think you look decent with the hair. You look identical to your son, Juelz now.
And I’ve taken it upon myself to give you unsolicited advise to ensure that your segzy isn’t compromised now that you have short hair.
- Get a 100% boar bristle brush – will keep your kitchens in check and your hair neat
- Keep a standing appointment at SuperCuts every 2 weeks so the back of your neck isn’t looking like Wolverine’s. Your lining shouldn’t be too tight though. You don’t want dudes being envious of your LINING game
- Rock big earrings always so on those days you aren’t rocking a skirt, folks don’t address you by “Sir”
With these in mind, you can rock your short hair with confidence and fierceness (like I am in that pic. Yes I was feeling myself something se’ous). This new style makes you more interesting to me. Plus, when you clapped back on Twitter at everyone, you earned yourself a new fan. It gave me EVERYTHING!
Yours in new fan-dom,
P.S. Just promise me you’ll never wear another Technicolor, shiny lycra onesie jumpsuit like this again. Kthxbai!
Luvvie is a blogger from Chicago with a passion for rants. You can catch more of her randomosity at her eCribs Awesomely Luvvie and House of IG. She is also the co-creator of The Red Pump Project, an initiative to raise awareness on the impact of HIV/AIDS on women & girls.