Can’t Fight Stupid: No Amount of Logic Will Sway “Birthers” on Prez

Some representative who’s name really isn’t worth mentioning is proposing a bill that would require that all future US presidential candidates supply a birth certificate proving they are a US citizen. He said it was just about enforcing the law … and dealing with “Birthers,” conspiracy theorist whackadoos who don’t believe the current president is a natural born citizen.

More after the jump.

It doesn’t matter that you can get a copy of the man’s birth certificate or that the campaign released a copy during election 2008. It doesn’t matter that his mother was an American citizen and he was born in Hawaii, America’s 50th state. None of this matters to Birthers. Logical things like why would the Democratic Party pick someone with THAT HUGE OF A PROBLEM as their nominee? Or why Hillary Clinton wouldn’t say shizz about it during her down and dirty primary fight with Barack Obama? Or why John McCain and the RNC didn’t bring this up, if it were true, to save Johnny Mac’s dead-on-arrival campaign? Basically, the Birthers are saying everyone is stupid in America, but them. Including Republicans, the state of Hawaii, both Liberal, conservative and neutral media outlets, the United States government and … well, everyone. You. Me. Your dog. We’ve all be duped by some grand conspiracy.


I’m so bored with this brand of crazy. I’m not into conspiracy theories. I’m someone who believes that the most simple explanation is usually the true one. No, I don’t think George Bush and Dick Cheney shot down one of the hijacked planes on 9-11. Didn’t you notice how scared and confused as shit everyone was that day, including the executive branch? And no I don’t think all Jews got some letter telling them not to go to work the day the towers fell. Nope. And I don’t believe Bill and Hillary Clinton has assassination squads in Arkansas. And yeah, I think a lone-gunman killed Kennedy because that’s what whackadoos do. If someone tries to kill this president tomorrow it’ll be some lone whackadoo. Because a CONSPIRACY involves more than you and your imaginary friend Jodie Foster and the Secret Service has an easier time tracking groups of nut jobs than lone nut jobs. But hey, conspiracies are FUN, so why not believe them?

The closet thing to a “conspiracy” that I believe is the whole WTF that was Malcolm X’s and Robert Kennedy’s assassinations. Those things made no kinds of sense, still don’t. But that’s not really a “conspiracy,” that’s more me going “obviously there is something more to this that we will never, ever know.” Kind of like Rashomon, only with dead icons.

But back to the Birthers. There is nothing anyone could ever do or say that would satisfy these people because it’s not really about President Obama’s citizenship — it’s about how they feel they’ve “lost their country.” Which is AMAZING to me, considering they still live here and are free to spout their nonsense undisturbed by anyone. If you “lost your country” would you still be living in it? Wouldn’t you be enjoying your own personal exile in South Africa or something by now? Where’s the jackbooted thugs breaking down your doors branding you with the mark of the beast? I’m confused. It sounds like you’re still just lollygagging around, eating your Hot Pockets and sipping your Big Gulps living the Miller High Life?

It’s called an ELECTION, birthers! You’ll get to do it again in 2012. Nothing’s changed but your level of sanity!

13 thoughts on “Can’t Fight Stupid: No Amount of Logic Will Sway “Birthers” on Prez

  1. It’s astounding that after the most vetted primary and general election in the history of democracy, some nuts can still think there are some secrets any of the candidates have that has not been unearth. This is a clever way of showing their racism and the Obama team will do well not to defend him before this mad racists. Let them stew and die in their hatred of their President for the next 8 years.We all no the Clinton’s, some of the most cutthroat politicians on the planet, have vetted Obama’s birth certificate. The RNC, the DNC, and McCain’s campaign staff vetted Obama’s birth certificate. People need to get over it we have a blackman whose president

  2. What bugs me the most is this "Nigger, show us your birth certificate!" attitude these folks have. It’s like some white supremacy or sense of entitlement going on.

  3. Even if these people did get the birth certificate, they would not be satisfied. I still can’t believe some people think that he is a terrorist or some sort of Muslim. I don’t get the thinking that would allow them to say that…But, like you said..they are whackadoos. BTW, I never heard of the Clinton assassination squad conspiracy theory. That one made me laugh.

  4. Yep, these folks are nuts. What really bugs me is that these stupid idiots keep getting press attention. Why does anyone even put them on their shows and give them an audience to spew their nonesense. It is just straight up crazy. It is also funny that, as you said snob, they think everyone is stupid and they are the smart ones when most of them are as dumb as the day is long. But I bet you if someone really was taking their rights away, destroying the country and genuinely turning this into a totalitarian state as long as the person doing that was a good old boy, they would not say a damn word. Some scary folks in this world. They are big liars too b/c they keep saying he hasn’t presented a certificate, when he has and many people don’t have their original birth certificate. I only have mine b/c my Dad , who didn’t raise me, for some odd reason had it and sent it to me a few years ago. Other than that, I use my passport and the one time I needed a copy of it before my Dad sent it, I had to go to city hall in the town I was born in to get a copy.

  5. It’s nice to see the mainstream media has seen the Republican base for what it truly was and still is: racist, sexually repressed, gun-horny Jesus freaks who live in desperate fear of book leaning and black people.

  6. In all seriousness- who cares if someone who wants to be President was born in the U.S. It’s okay to be Austrian and Governor of California. No one seems to dispute whether Arnold’s birthplace has an affect on his policy decisions. The bill should be to amend the constitution so it DOESN’T limit would-be Great Presidents from running. Madeleine Albright was foreign born and she was Secretary of State. McCain was born in Panama. Hawaii had only been a state for a few years when Obama was born. How about- if you actually make it to the primaries- then you are automatically entitled to be President when people vote for you! Birthplace is a completely useless requirement for the presidency. Why didn’t Chris throw him that Hardball? Why does the extreme Right Wing feel that they don’t have access to the same America that us liberal elites have?

  7. "jackbooted thugs breaking down your doors branding you with the mark of the beast" made me laugh out loud.

  8. One of my best friends, who’s Jewish, often said how lucky he was that he didn’t go to work at the Twin Towers on 9/11. Now I’m believing that maybe he did get that letter. Hmmm.

  9. If his mother was in Hawaii on his birthday, then he was born there. Did she have a passport? If not, STFU!!!

  10. The one I’ll give the Birthers that I’ve learned a lot about citizenship.Did you that Supreme Court of the United States held that all persons born on or after April 30, 1900 in Hawaii are natural-born citizens.Also Hawaii allows registration of foreign birth when one of both parents are Hawaiian residents. Although sorry Birthers, that law was only enacted in 1982, 21 years after Barack Obama’s mother gave birth to him. Also if you were Mobassa, Kenya, your Hawaii State Department of Health issued Certification of Live Birth would have Mobassa, Kenya on it instead of Honolulu. Also, the U.S. Supreme Court ruled that Hawaii State Department of Health issued Certification of Live Birth are to be considered proof of citizenship and accepted anywhere in the nation when one is asked to produce of valid Birth Certificate. Plus Birthers always demand (like it’s their right) to see the orignal 1961 record that the State of Hawaii has on record which would the names of the hospital and attending physician. Couple of problems, first the Health Insurance Portability and Accountability Act of 1996 forbid a hospital for confirming or denying if a person was ever a patient there, even if your U.S. President, even if you’re dead (i.e. Barack Obama’s mother). Also, as his mother’s obstetrcian, my own bet is that person is long dead. I mean if you were 55 in 1961, you’d be 103 today. Plus if I was the obstetrician that delivery the baby that is now President of the United States, I think, no matter how much I opposed his policies or even his character, I’d admit to the honor especially consider this moronic smear surrounding the circumstances of his birth. There is no vault in Honolulu with the orignal record. The Hawaii State Health Department went paperless in 2001. At that time, all information for births from 1908 on was put into electronic files for consistent reporting. Obama wrote a letter to Honolulu’s Kapi’olani Medical Center congradulating them on their centennial (1909-2009). In that letter, he specifically mentions that he was born there. It was read aloud by Congressman Neil Abercrombie, who was classmate and friend of Barack Obama, Sr. 50 years ago. point out that some "organizations" have stated he was Queens Hospital. These "organizations" they were refer to are just online blogs like and one UPI report. All, from UPI to, admit it their mistake and correct it. there 1961 birth annoucements in both the Honolulu Advertiser and the Honolulu Star-Bullentin. If was not his parents or grandparents who place them there. At the time, the newspaper received the information for birth annoucements directly from the Hawaii State Department of Hawaii. In one irony, the first person to uncover Barack Obama’s 1961 newspaper birth annoucement was Hillary Rodham Clinton supporter who was trying to prove that he wasn’t born in Hawaii.Plus, the "His Granny said he was born in Kenya" stuff. Here is a quote from Sarah Obama, Barack Obama’s father’s step-mother, in a 2007 Chicago Tribune article by Tim Jones: Six months after they wed, another letter arrived in Kenya, announcing the birth of Barack Hussein Obama, born Aug. 4, 1961. Despite her husband’s continued anger, Sarah Obama said in a recent interview, she "was so happy to have a grandchild in the U.S. Birthers will often point to nonsense interview between Ron McRae and a translator for Sarah Obama. It’s crap and repeatedly the translators says that Sarah Obama is saying he was born in Hawaii. There’s another interview with Sarah Obama in which the subtitle states she is saying that Barack Obama "is a son of this village" I mean c’mon. Last March, during an interview with Meredith Vieira, Irish President Mary McAleese called Barack Obama a "native son" because his mother’s father’s father’s mother’s father, Fulmoth Kearney, was a born and breed Irishman. Also, there is an interview with the Kenyan Ambassador in which he clearly states Barack Obama was born in Kenya. What Birthers ignore is that afterwards, the Kenyan Ambassador publicly said he meant to say Barack Obama’s father was born in Kenya., Birthers claim that both parents must be American citizens in order for their son or daughter to be natural-born citizen. This ignores that back in 1898, the SCOTUS ruled on the case of United States v. Wong Kim Ark and stated that all person born in the United States are natural-born citizens of the United States regardless of their parents’ citizenship and are therefore eligible for the American presidency or vice-presidency.If you want to read some crazy 1898 racism, read United States v. Wong Kim Ark. the 2008 McCain did investigate those claims about Barack Obama’s citizenship and found that the legal cases were based on no actual evidence and the McCain campaign dismiss going any further with it. 1880 Presidential campaign, there was loud rumors that Chester A. Arthur, who was born in Vermont, was either born nearby across the border in present-day Quebec or in his father’s native Ireland. Arthur actually had to still down with a newspaper and give a full account of his birth and his father’s life to quell these rumors.Winston Churchill was born 7 months after his parents’ wedding and a shotgun wedding was a scandal in Victorian England. When he was asked it, he always replied:"Although present on the occasion, I have no clear recollection of the events leading up to it."

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