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Uncle Roland Burris Pulls A Half-Palin

He’s leaving! But he’s staying until it’s time for him to go. Unlike SOME people. You know? Because my Uncle Roland is “klassy” and shizz. Cue the violins ya’ll. My other Uncle Rolly Rolls has read the writing (re: no money) on the wall. Nobody wants to front Sen. Roland Burris the cash to mount a serious re-election campaign for President Obama’s old, gently-used senate seat, so he’s stepping aside in 2010 to give someone else a shot.

More after the jump.

From CBS News:

Illinois Senator Roland Burris, who was appointed to Barack Obama’s Senate seat by impeached former Illinois Gov. Rod Blagojevich amid a cloud of controversy, has announced that he will not seek election to the Senate in 2010, CBS News has confirmed.

Burris will issue announce his decision tomorrow, sources tell CBS News Capitol Hill producer John Nolen.

Burris decision appears to have been based at least in part on the fact that he has not been able to raise money for an election campaign. As of March 31st, reports CBS News Political Director Steve Chaggaris, Burris had raised only $845 and had $111,031 in campaign debt, according to FEC reports.

Burris was appointed to Barack Obama’s former Senate seat by Blagojevich, who was impeached in part on charges of offering the appointment in exchange for campaign contributions.

Damn you, Blago! This is all your fault! All Uncle Rolly ever wanted to do was pimp walk around the Capitol Building all ding-dong-day and you just couldn’t let the man have his happy place. Nooooo. You had to be crooked and everything you touched was made crooked by your inability to be reasonable about something as “fucking golden” as a senate seat. I hate you, Blago! You ruin everything. What am I going to do without Roland Burris to kick around anymore?

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4 thoughts on “Uncle Roland Burris Pulls A Half-Palin

  1. The A says:

    pssh. inevitable conclusion to a short-sighted and purely selfish political decisionAlthough, there is an eternal silver lining – Updating that snazzy moselium with the words US Senator.

  2. Spinster says:

    "Burris decision appears to have been based at least in part on the fact that he has not been able to raise money for an election campaign. As of March 31st, reports CBS News Political Director Steve Chaggaris, Burris had raised only $845 and had $111,031 in campaign debt, according to FEC reports."No.ROTFLMAO. Oh well. All’s well that ends….. never mind. 😐

  3. Wow. You mean ALL of that for nothing? I guess he just needed something for his resume. I hope he does something in the Senate before he leaves beside add to his debt. (SMH)

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