Day: July 3, 2009

Sarah Palin announced Friday in the worst executed Friday news dump ever that she is stepping down from her governorship almost immediately, “in a few weeks” up in the frozen tundra of Alaska. Aside from my general reaction of whatthefuckjusthappend I have to say, oh REALLY, Palinator? You’re quitting Alaska.

O RLY?

Oh really, Sarah Palin. You’re quitting Alaska. The best job you’ve ever had? For what? 2012? Can you count? Did you know that you still have two and a half years to prepare? And I know you don’t give a shit about preparation, so don’t try to tell me your going to spend this time memorizing former Soviet satellite states.

More after the jump.

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The first person to die during the Boston Massacre was a black man, Crispus Attucks. I honesly don’t know why homie was there. Was he throwing a block of wood or relaxing, leaning on a stick? Either way. He was the first to take two to the chest and go down for the emancipation of colonies from the British.

Despite being lauded as a symbol of the American Revolution and abolitionist movement, I’d argue that most black people didn’t get too wistful on the Fourth of July until right … about … now.

What a difference a black president makes.

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And I don’t mean Fred.

From the Associated Press:

Sanford insisted his relationship with Maria Belen Chapur, whom he met at an open air dance spot in Uruguay eight years ago, was more than just sex.

“This was a whole lot more than a simple affair, this was a love story,” he said. “A forbidden one, a tragic one, but a love story at the end of the day.”

I honestly can’t wait for this movie to come out. It is going to have EVERYTHING. Love on the Argentine! Exotic locales! Hot political sex! Desperate political wives! The ruining of careers! The wasting of taxpayer dollars! Smoldering looks (and emails)! I want it to star William Fichtner and Penelope Cruz. And I want it directed by Pedro Almodovar and I want it in theaters now. Gimmie! Gimmie! Gimmie!

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Hey guys. Let’s talk. Have a seat? Comfy? Good.

Listen. It’s about the comments. Now most of you are super respectful, thoughtful cool peeps. I love you guys like play cousins. You’re awesome. But as the readership has grown over the last few months there’s been an increase of … what’s the right word … THE CRAZY on the blog. And when I mean crazy, I mean writing long, nonsensical screeds featuring folks who don’t know how to turn off the CAPS LOCK key.

This must stop.

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