There are some slang terms I’d like to murder. Like “playa hater,” which won’t die no matter how old the phrase is or “shawty” (*shudder*), but two terms that have caused me to spit up my Maxwell House are “grown and sexy” and “cougar.”
One term is ludicrous, used to describe those tacky over 21 night club soirees that are always filled with decidedly “not grown” old people who dress like teenagers and think adulthood is about Stacey Adams and wearing a Jersey over your wife beater and that “sexy” is about illicit fornication with strangers who smell like Sean John and menthols.
The Root’s Rashod D. Ollison called it the gateway to “bourgie materialism“:
(T)he “grown and sexy” night was a bust. It was like walking into an overgrown fifth-grade dance: Women in low-cut clothes and ultra high heels congregated on one side of the bar, while guys in flashy, pointed-toe loafers and French-cuffed shirts stood around on the other. The DJ was predictable; the mingling was tentative, to say the least. Folks stood around watching each other, sipping on overpriced cocktails and posing for cameras that weren’t there …
I have also noticed that those who frequently drop the phrase (“grown and sexy”) in everyday conversation are neither grown nor sexy. They may be over 25, but they possess the interpersonal skills of a restless college freshman. Being grown for these folks usually means putting on button-down shirts over wife beaters, but their pants still hang off their waists. For women, it means squeezing themselves into painted-on jeans, teetering on four-inch heels and tossing their weaves in an effort to look like America’s Next Top Model. For these folks, “the look” is everything, and conversation reveals next to nothing.
I swear, there is not enough Purell and Valtrex in the world.
As for “cougar,” that is beyond the most condescending term ever as it implies that there is something aberrant and animalistic about a sexually viable and attractive woman over 40.
Would you use such a denigrating term towards someone like Halle Berry (age 42) as if she would ever be unattractive to any man of any age? Or Angela Bassett (age 50)? As if it’s abnormal for someone to want them simply because they aren’t in their early 20s. It makes no sense, but the term feeds into the belief that a woman’s worth is tied to her looks and that age, no matter who you are or how you look, is an impediment to those looks.
It’s clichéd, it’s lame, it’s undignified. It smacks of predatory desperation. As Salon’s Rebecca Traister wrote in April, “How sad and backward that we have to give it a nickname, animalize it as if it’s outside the boundaries of civilized human behavior, make it a trend, pretend that Demi Moore invented it. That’s not progress, and it’s not a step forward for women.” ‘Nuff said. (Jezebel)
I just hate it. I hate how it compares female sexuality to an animal. I hate the show “The Cougar,” because it makes middle age women look pathetic and desperate. I hate Courtney Cox’s new show “Cougar Town” even though it hasn’t aired yet, just because of the stupidity of the name.
On the other hand, I sometimes find SNL’s Cougar Den funny. But that’s satire, not an endorsement.
It also features Cameron Diaz magically transforming into an insane Latina when by trade she’s just a generic white blonde. Very Martin Sheen of her.
But I digress. Hate the term cougar. Hate “grown and sexy.” Hate them because they essentially imply the same thing — that sex and beauty are tied inexplicably to youth, everyone over 30 is some kind of sad, horny weirdo who needs a gimmick to get it up. That one must cling to youth at all costs and transform adulthood into some extended, hormone-injected adolescence.
Fuck that. I spent my entire teen years waiting to be an adult because of the immaturity of my peers was my pain. I REFUSE to spend the rest of my “grown and snobby” life putting up with people chasing Ponce de Leon’s shawty snappin’ fountain of Forever 21.
I wish it all would die a thousand “grown and sexy” deaths so everyone could finally grow up. Perhaps by drowning it in a vat Cool Water cologne and Alize. Beating it senseless with a Jimmy Choo. Or strangled to death with the tape from a Babyface “Whip Appeal” cassette single.
Die, mother effer. Die!
What over used slang term is vexing you lately? Is it “swagga?” I hate “swagga,” too. And did I mention “shawty?” And everything T-Pain says.