The Snob was soooo busy on her whirlwind tour of the East Coast that she didn’t have time to give her take on the hot news items buzzing about. She was much, much too busy rippin’ and running with Dot, having sushi with Jada, laughing at Apollo’s Amateur Night, joking around about jazz with Jim, being a lurker at the Lincoln Memorial at night and chatting it up with ABC’s Yunji de Nies for Nightline.
Here are my opinions, in brief, on the news of the day after the jump:
Swine Flu: Meh.
Sen. Arlen Specter switching parties: The mass purge continues! Soon the Republican Party will have that 100 percent “pure” scent the hardliners think is needed to win back all those people who were turned off by the hardliners in the first place. Since this was more about self-preservation (Specter could not win a Republican primary) than ideology, and since the ever-bluing of that seat was almost inevitable (a more hard right candidate would have just made the seat easier pickings for the Democrats), the Democrats really had nothing to lose in this game of musical chairs.
As for the Republicans, this only adds to that air of “WTF is wrong with the RNC???” that is going around as MSNBC’s Rachel Maddow and Keith Olbermann chortle with delight, munching popcorn and chanting “We don’t need no water let the muthafucker burn” on their nightly programs. And this makes me wonder who will be next to go all “Joe Lieberman” AWOL on the Republicans. I’m eye-balling that Olympia Snowe. The Club for Growth doesn’t necessarily like her anymore than they liked Arlen. And methinks she came *this close* to bolting on the Iraq War re-up back when more than 100 GIs were dying a month in the sandbox from hell back in 2007. Watch yer back!
A divided RNC trying to snip Michael Steele’s purse strings: Really? Are we insinuating that just because Steele suffers from a bad case of diarrehea of the mouth that he’s bad with fundage? I mean, he might be. I don’t know. Maryland/DC Metro readers, help me out here. I’ve heard things about Steele’s past fundraising woes, but I figured they weren’t much worse than most politicians. But now that the RNC has taken up the DNC’s popular anthem of “Everybody Was Kung Fu Fighting” as their way of dealing with “issues” this latest jack move on everybody’s favorite corny-ass Uncle Mike seems kind of petty. In the end, ya’ll voted for this dude. Either get rid of him or dance with the one you brought to the damn party. Yeah, he sounds like a fool, but you can’t tell me that a guy who once ran for office using signs that made him look like a Democrat was playing with a full deck. That a guy who didn’t run screaming from a Mike Tyson/Don King endorsement isn’t operating on all levels.
You knew he was nutters and you picked him anyway.
That said, Olbermann and Maddow laugh on …
CNN’s ratings woes: If you’re getting beat by Headline News, your own sister network that does nothing but regurgitate the day’s “headlines” over and over something is terribly, terribly wrong. I want to blame it on the Sanchez, but could you at least consider that it COULD be the Sanchez? Or the Wolf? Or the general blandness? Or the fact that you allowed the Prince of West Memphis to actually film a segment on the president’s “swagga?” These are all very valid points! Take notes!
Justice David Souter must have really wanted outta there: While this will generate chatter this is really not a big deal to me. Obama is likely to replace Souter with another justice similar to him ideologically, hence leaving the current balance of the court unchanged. Call me when Clarence sez he wants to quit his day job. The only thing exciting about the appointment is some of the speculative chatter that there are lots of minority female candidates who would make good possibles leading to a maybe first black female justice or a first Latina justice. Papa Snob sez “I’d piss ’em all off and pick a sista!” But Papa Snob has no shame in his game.
This story will give some conservatives (You keep on throwin’ dem bows, Mary Matalin!) something to say no to and rally behind, but with Spector flipping and Senator Stuart Smalley coming home to roost (eventually), I don’t even see that helping their over all, “who the hell is in charge of this thing” problem they have right now. I know a good ol’ fashion ideological shit fight sounds fun, my conservative friends, but will the rest of America care? That’s the question. Do they want you to get into a shit fight that won’t even affect the present balance of the court? I mean, you’ll do it anyway because that’s just the nature of things, but … call me crazy, I don’t see it working.
Of course, you could just make the satirical part of me AMAZINGLY happy and just pick Mitt Romney has your savior already. I mean, he wants to be Capt. Save-A-Party so bad. And I could break out my Guy Smiley picture again. I know all the other joke writers want Sarah, but Romney’s my pot-o-gold at the end of the comedy rainbow. He’s the Insincere Ned Flanders and I LURVE him. Bring back my Mittens!
Chrysler goes into emergency, super fast, they-swear-it-won’t-kill-the-company bankruptcy: Considering it closed the plant here in Fenton, Mo. I’m naturally concerned. I honestly will be shocked if Chrysler, no matter what it does, survives the next six months, let alone the year.
Bo, The Presidential Pup: Yes. The press went overboard, but so far nothing has been able to stop the virulent strain of “OMFG! The Obamas and a DOG!” virus that’s been going around, infecting us all. Plus we got pictures of this!
How are sane people supposed to focus on the serious issues of the day when all you want to do is delight in the looks on little Sasha and Malia’s faces as they run around the White House lawn with an energetic, curly-haired dog? These are the pictures that launched a thousand squees and murdered what was left of my objective will. I submit already! I submit to the cute!
Speaking of submitting …
Michelle planted a tree in this blouse: Um. Fierce! Also, when it comes to her gardening wear she seriously needs to stop playing. She is killing me! KILLING ME SOFTLY with the diva outfits while gardening. How are us mortals supposed to function when we still wear pajama bottoms to the Whole Foods and she tills her soil in full makeup and couture? (Daylife)