It’s time for some straight talk from Danielle, not The Snob, about my 10-day hiatus and what it has to do with all of us in a world where we suffer in silence.
My name is Danielle Belton and I am a woman.
I possess no super human strength. I cannot go it alone. I cannot carry the unnamed pains of the past alone. I can not blindly defend my abusers no more than I can take their abuse. I get mad. I cry. I am confused. I want to be loved. I want to be understood. I don’t want judgement or condemnation, persecution or accusations. I don’t want to be accused of calling the world to fall from grace as if I were dining on that fruit alone.
God named me “Imperfect” and I can’t dance for anyone anymore. I can’t pretend because it doesn’t help you and it doesn’t help me, it just perpetuates the same cycle of “The Strong Black Woman,” the “Strong Black Man” and the place where we part to go our own ways in life, bitter and broken.
In 2001, my “strong black woman” fallacies officially broke into pieces as I contemplated a “him or me” situation with a man I’d been with for three years. After all his time taking my once high self-esteem and wearing it down to a nub, the last bit of fighter in me wanted to take myself out, but I wasn’t going alone.