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The Snob and Uncle Roland Need to Have A Talk (Not Helping!)

Dear Uncle Roland,

Please STFU.

Yours truly,

The Black Snob

From The Chicago Tribune:

A former top official for then- Gov. Rod Blagojevich said Thursday he got a “courtesy call” from Roland Burris last fall noting Burris’ interest in a vacant U.S. Senate seat—a contact Burris failed to mention to lawmakers in his evolving testimony about how he got the job.

John Filan, former chief operating officer in Blagojevich’s administration, also said Burris called him later—after Blagojevich’s Dec. 9 arrest on federal corruption charges. Filan said Burris asked him to put in a good word with then-Lt. Gov. Pat Quinn if Quinn became governor and inherited the power to make the Senate appointment.

Filan, who’s also a longtime friend of Quinn, said he never made the call. But Filan’s disclosures to the Tribune painted an even deeper picture of the aggressive attempts that Burris made to secure the former Senate seat of President Barack Obama, a post he was appointed to three weeks after Blagojevich’s arrest.

Burris, who first publicly expressed his interest in the Senate seat in November, has said he told “anyone who would listen that I was interested in serving Illinois in the Senate.” But a political firestorm has erupted over changes to his sworn testimony to Illinois House lawmakers about what contact he had with allies of the disgraced ex-governor, who was charged with seeking to sell the seat for personal or political profit.

Uncle Rolly-Rolls, you know I love you. I love you and your crazy Effie White, George Jeffersonian ways. I love your hustle, but what the hezzie is going on? Why are you still talking? Must I give you the NOTcoveted official, Black Snob “NOT HELPING!” award? Previous winners include Sarah Palin and rapper Ludacris.

You don’t want to be in that company, Uncle Rolly Rolls. I hear it gets lonely to be in Sarah Palin’s “Not Helping” shadow. To never have sunlight on your face.

You have to STOP TALKING. You’re supposed to be a seasoned politician and you’re supposed to already know that many a man and woman has committed political suicide via their verbosity.

Can the fake president offer you this advice?

Play it “cool,” Rolly Rolls. You could have whistled past the graveyard if you’d just had only one, brief press conference, gave one interview then had your flack repeat as many times necessary “I cannot comment on an on-going investigation. The junior senator looks forward to working with the president on his initiatives, blah, blah, blah, what nice weather we’re having.”

But nooooo. You just KEPT TALKING with a constantly changing story and now you’re hiding out after having one of the worst weeks ever. Why? Why Uncle Roland? You had a good legal loophole, Clintonesque argument — what the definition of “friends” is. It was even better than Bill’s definition of “is.” You were vague. The Democrats want this to go away. But you wouldn’t let the mike go. You had to sing “And I’m Telling You …” over and over until finally they started to actually tell you to go. You are two seconds from the Sandman coming out with his cane and shucking you off the stage.

The crazy thing is, despite your inability to STOP TALKING you’ll probably still get to be senator. Even though you’re bombing during Amateur Night at the Apollo. People are booing and you’re still warbling, yet no one can really “do” anything to be rid of you.

Which is why you shouldn’t be talking. Because no one can really do anything to you. But if you keep talking you may give them something, anything to finally bumroll your ass out of the Capitol.

Not to mention this shizz is all kinds of embarrassing to the state of Illinois. How much longer do my bi-state neighbors have to suffer these indignities of such political shenanigans? I mean, I enjoy making fun of Illinois as much as the next Missourian (It’s our right. They have more money and power than us.), but after awhile you have to stand up for the state you share a river with.

On one hand, Illinois has it all. They’ve got a president. They’ve got Chicago. Corn as high as an elephant’s eye. On the other, they have horribly corrupt politicians. It’s not that Missouri doesn’t. Heavens to Murgatroid, we do! But, you don’t see Sen. Kit Bond on “Hardball” completely plastered (maybe a little shitfaced, but he’s cognizant … sometimes!), and Sen. Claire McCaskill only showboats a little when she’s not screaming at the top of her lungs at executives on C-SPAN. But these are minor crimes and embarrassments.

And while I feel that no Negro politician should have to suffer for Uncle Rolly Rolls pay-for-play sins, we all know that folks are going to give just about everyone, from Rep. Jesse Jackson Jr. to Bobby “Not That Bobby” Rush, the side-eye.

So for the sake of yourself, the state of Illinois and JJJ, STFU. Pretty please. Even the ministers are bolting on you. The MINISTERS!

Burris’ latest revelations are “making the black community just as suspicious of him as anyone else,” said the Rev. Leonard Barr of Fellowship Missionary Baptist Church.

But Burris deserves a chance to defend himself and should not step down, he said. “I think he can do the job,” Barr said. “He would be a good senator and a conscientious senator.”

People who have supported Burris are torn between feelings of anger and betrayal and a desire to keep the only black senator in the country, said Laura S. Washington, a politics professor at DePaul University and columnist for the Chicago Sun-Times.

“They’re disappointed, embarrassed and worried that the seat will be in jeopardy,” Washington said.

And remember, once upon a time black ministers stood up for boxer Mike Tyson in the middle of a damn rape trial. Do you realize how embarrassing you have to be for black people to walk away from you? There are people who STILL insist R. Kelly was set up. I know folks who STILL think OJ didn’t kill Nicole. We’re loyal to the point of absurdity. How do you wreck that?

You have reached the absurd, my friend. 

Granted, if it weren’t for the fact that people think you’re “embarrassing” Barack Obama, the chosen one, in the first place, most Negroes would still be politely defending your nonsense, but as Tavis Smiley and countless others had to learn the hard way — black president trumps all.

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22 thoughts on “The Snob and Uncle Roland Need to Have A Talk (Not Helping!)

  1. Tia says:

    I’m so tired of hearing and seeing Roland Burris…I remember when Harry Reid tried to stop Burris everyone screamed racism. Which I now believe Blago made up that whole damn story about Reid not wanting a Black in the seat he leaked to the press. Seriously, now do you freaking idiots see why Obama sided originally with Reid and other Dems to stop Burris. But once everyone got on Reid and Obama backs about holding that poor old Black man down they let Burris slide. Sure Burris had the law on his side for the seat. But now we all have learned the truth the man is freaking scum. But, don’t worry Blacks in Illinois can live with the pride they had three Black sentors rolls eyes.

  2. I hope he never shuts up. Everyone needs to see how Roland Burris and his ilk truly roll again and again until we get it that certain people will use their blackness without integrity as a reason to justify why they are owed power.

  3. moja31 says:

    burris is embarrassing and does probably just need to hang it up, but you don’t get to ignore the law just because it’s politically inconvenient, seating burris was one of many unappealing options senate dems had, but they didn’t have a legal leg to stand on in any their arguments for not seating him. where democrats and illinois screwed the pooch is in not immediately calling for a special election (mostly because they were worried about losing it), and acting more swiftly to remove blagojevich from office; they had no reason to believe he’d leave by himself or not create a spectacle by making an appointment, given that he still hasn’t been charged with anything while the prosecutor puts his case together. burris saw an opening and took advantage, and he had a good shot at getting away with race baiting his way into a senate seat. democrats just bungled their response and arguably the prosecutor jumped the gun a little with his arrest and press conference; he argued it was all about preventing an illegal appointment by blago, which in the end is pretty much what we got anyway. i’d love for burris get off of my tv, but he’s no more corrupt than most politicians, and the democrats are just hot under the collar because it’s become embarrassing, an embarrassment which they facilitated because they messed up their original response to the blago mess; they let themselves get played by blago and his tool burris because they were shortsighted about a special election, and now it’s blowing up in their faces. now, burris can’t seem to shut up to save his life, and everyone but his mother is trying to shove him off stage. god knows what he’ll say at his next ill advised presser; he’s a kooky little old man with a big brass set that’s for sure; i go back and forth between being thoroughly embarrassed by the whole thing or being weirdly in awe of it all.

  4. Tia says:

    moja31….You spoke the truth about the DEMS dropping the ball and not having a special election from the very start. Now, they are stuck with the dummy Burris a personal parting gift from Blago…lol Burris is not going anywhere he’d rather die in that seat then give it up. So, unless the retarded Dems plan on throwing Burris out they need to be quiet about calling for him to step down.

  5. TW says:

    I so wish that I could mail a personal "I told you so" to every fool that was crying about the injustice of not seating this man. People were so caught up in the "I want a Black senator" hype, that they failed to see what was right before their eyes. No more excuses. I will say now, what I said then. Any politician that would accept Blago’s appointment in light of his circumstances is either as dirty as he is, or is as crazy as he is. And voila, true to form, RB has not failed to disappoint. Also, I’m still wondering why no one moved to strip Blago of his appointment powers–unless it had to be coupled with the fact that they would try to have a special election. I think the argument against a special election is still legitimate. It is going to cause the State millions of dollars to conduct the election when the State is already cash strapped and has a budget deficit. Not a good look.

  6. dukedraven says:

    Burris already has "two-term senator" chiseled on his mausoleum, so he’s not leaving. I’m also tired of hearing him lie and I’ve been zoning out when his name pops up. The post gave me a few chuckles though.

  7. moja31 says:

    @TW: yeah special elections are expensive and like everyone else the state is broke, but now they’re going to have to find the money for one anyway. they should have been able to see that blago was not one to go down quietly, nor was he one to do anything that was in the interest of anyone other than himself. the primary reason they rejected the special election was a fear of losing it, not because it’s expensive. it’s no more expensive now than it was 2 months ago; they were trying to cover their own asses and now it’s come back to bite them in the ass.

  8. Zion says:

    We cannot have a special election in Illinois because its too costly. The governor called himself embarrassing the Democrats by appointing a questionable person. The governor needs to appoint another Democrat. A special election strategically gives Republcians an opportunity to pick up a possible Senate Seat.

  9. The pay for play news that came out in good ol’ IL for the most part is not news to anyone who pays attention to politics. The only difference here is that certain peoples wanted a chance at getting a Republican seat. Except for our dear president and a select few in government, pay for play happens all the time. I am sure even our president gave something further consideration because someone wholeheartedly, wholepocketedly gave their support. Presidential cabinets and other appointments are always prime examples of pay for play. For anyone to pretend this is unusual and/or new is at best disingenuous. I knew there was more to come when he accepted the appointment. But Burris knew what he was doing when he accepted the position. He knew the dems wanted to avoid a special election and also knew that once appointed it would be difficult to remove him…thus the use of ‘friends’. But, I agree…STFU Mr. Burris! Let it stew and slowly dissipate. The media will find something else to focus on (you know, like turning to their penchant for revisionist history to start working on blaming our pres for the economic mess created by those before him) because, if nothing else, they suffer from ADHD!

  10. I could be wrong but I don’t see Burris going anywhere. If he were susceptible to public pressure in the least little bit, it would’ve shown up long before now. I suppose the Illinois State Leg could call for a special election, but it’s not clear that Roland would not prevail if he contested it — and things could drag on forever. And after having taken no disciplinary action against convicted felon Ted Stevens, it would be hard to see how the Senate could move to expel him without embroiling itself in a controversy it really doesn’t want at this point.I think your advice to Roland is the best and feel the same way.

  11. Spinster says:

    Dear Uncle Roland,Please STFU.Yours truly,The Black Snob_________________________________________ROTFLMAO.Those ministers need to sit down and STFU too. Heard that there are quite a few of them who still support him. This is what bothers me about ministers and the old guard – they stand and speak up for the wrong shit and for the spotlight, while remaining silent on important issues. Al Sharpton standing up for the Dunbar Village rapists, anyone?

  12. Okay….Roland Burris was like an idol for me in a weird way. Like his house was down the street from my elementary school and one of my very old and good friends is ONE block away from his house. (Did I mention Obama’s house is 4 blks from my own house in Hyde Park?!?! LOL) That being said, watching Burris fall from grace in this way is heartbreaking to me.I defended him to no end back in January and to see this is like OMG **buries face in hands.**I mean, BS, you’re right, if he just keeps his mouth shut he’d be alright, BUUUUT, as I said in my own post I wonder why the state wants to spend this $50M on an election when the Repubs are the main ones talking about the budget.

  13. Lady M says:

    I don’t understand why he’s still talking. he’s only digging himself into a even deeper ditch. Is someone paying him or promising political favors on the DL for him to keep running his mouth?

  14. LMBAO,Okay Black Snob, you have made my day with this post.I use to be a Chi-town resident so I know how down and dirty politics are in IL. I think that he has done considerable damage to himself. He might…maybe…able to hold that seat until the next election. It depends on how strongly folks feel about him holding that seat.When I first listened to him talking about what had not happened, that sounded all wrong. My dad had to campaign every time there was an election just to keep peace on his gig. So it was really hard for me to imagine some kind of deal not being in the mix.If he had kept his two lips closed the poop that has hit the fan might not have come up so soon. Eventually it would of been aired. But by that time it would not of mattered, he would of served long enough to prove whether he is comptent or not.I don’t hold much stock in ministers endorsing him. There is supposed to be a seperation of church and state. Especially when the state is obviously insane in the membrane. It was soooo important to have a Black person take Barack’s seat.Which I do understand. Which Black person-seemed to be a problem. One that has not been solved by Roland Burris representing Illinois.I hope you sent him a copy of this post. It has timely advice that he should consider using immediately!

  15. rikyrah says:

    OT Snob – the First Lady is holding her first formal White House Dinner to night – for the Governors. There are pics up of her going to ‘ rally the troops’ in the White House Kitchen..looking great, of course.

  16. rikyrah says:

    Snob,the White House Dinner pics are up!! Don’t forget the ones of Gov. Patrick and his wife. Gov. Paterson and his wife. Charlie Crist and his wife- LOL. Pics of Jarrett and Desiree Rogers.

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