Long-time readers know I have a fascination with all things Mitt Romney — The Snob’s, and oddly, Ann Coulter’s choice for Republican nominee for president last year. (He would have lost too. Possibly even worse than McCain, but I think Ann and I wanted dear Willard for entirely different reasons.) Now my fair Mittens, aka “Guy Smiley,” has been hit hard by the recession.
Yeah, he’s loaded, worth more than $250 million some estimate, but now he’s unloading not one, but TWO mansions.
Romney, the former business whiz and governor of Massachusetts, is looking to unload two of his four mansions, collectively valued in the currently-sour real estate market at close to $10 million.
The more expensive of the two homes is a 9,500 square foot cabin on 11 acres in Deer Valley, Utah, listed at $5.25 million. The property comes complete with 9.5 bathrooms and is entirely furnished with custom-made furniture. The real-estate Web site Zillow.com describes the 10-year-old ski cabin as the “perfect retreat” with “several gathering areas [that] provide enough space for lots of family and/or guests.”
What is the world coming to when my fair Mittens can’t just blow some couch cushion change on a manse or three? I don’t want to live in a world where Captain Insincerity has to be brought down a peg. May his nose always remain in the air as I sleep soundly at night knowing that Mittens thinks he is a better person than me. I NEED this so that my world will make sense.
Thank God his press people are keeping the snobbery alive. Unlike that horrible CNN! Evil Liberal Media! Always hatin’ on my Mitt! What? Was it all the lying? C’mon! All politicians lie. Yeah, he lied about his dad marching with MLK, but is that a crime?
Doesn’t CNN know there’s no recession that could hold my Mittens down!
Eric Fehrnstrom, a spokesman for Romney, said the moves are not an indication the nation’s flagging economy has affected the Romney family.
“Now that the children are all grown with families of their own, the Romneys have too much space and are downsizing and simplifying,” Fehrnstrom said.
Whew. Don’t you ever scare me like that again, Willard Mittens Romney! Now, get back to plotting whatever revenge I know you’re plotting against who ever may get in your way for 2010. (Sarah! Bobby! Watch yer kneecaps! Mitt will Nancy Kerrigan you and not even think twice! That varmint shooting trigger ain’t go no heart!)