EntertainmentSnob, MediaSnob, PopCulturalist

Señor Baby Wipes On Cover of Ebony Mag

My fair Señor Baby Wipes, aka, ultra fey, arrogant and “asshat-like” actor Terrence Howard is on the cover of Ebony and for some sick reason the photographer lit his face so his eyes would look extra vampiric and creepy, as if he can see through my soul and right into my bathroom to see if I have a box of baby wipes resting on the counter.

Or, at least a bidet.

UNCLEAN! UNCLEAN!” he would scream as he’d run away to go emulsify himself in a lush foment of bleach, Lemon scented Pledge and Purell.

Readers, if you love an actor, never read any interviews he gives. He or she could be an asshat and then ruin every viewing of his or her films. I couldn’t even watch “The Brave One” without thinking, did he ask Jodie Foster if she had baby wipes in her trailer? And if he did, did Foster tell him to “fuck off?” Because that sounds like something she would say in that situation.

And I actually “like” Terrence Howard but now I can never talk about him without calling him “Señor Baby Wipes.” Why? Terrence? TMI! TMI!

Anyway, for poops and giggles, enjoy this video from a month ago of equally asshat-like actor Jamie Foxx immitating Howard in the most hilarious terms possible.

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24 thoughts on “Señor Baby Wipes On Cover of Ebony Mag

  1. miss kate says:

    ohhhh CREEPY. Does he have a movie coming out or something–why is he cover-worthy right now? Matter of fact, why do we care about the people on the bottom? Is there a "Cosby Show" reunion in the works?I can’t talk about him without thinking "Slickback Ivanhoe" (thanks Crunk and Disorderly) so I forgive you for "Senor Baby Wipes". 🙂

  2. Danielle Belton says:

    @ Miss KateYou need to be relevant to get on the cover of Ebony? Kidding. Kidding. But seriously. You don’t have to have anything going on to get on the cover. Just be famous.

  3. Celebrities really do need to realize that revealing too much is NOT a good thing. I’ll never forget really liking the band Creed, until I saw them on Behind the Music. It’s not so much that Scott Stapp is an asshole, that’s pretty much a given. Believe it or not, it was his wife that really turned me off the entire band. Dude is a really impressive writer, and I thought it reflected someone with true depth. Then they showed his wife and she was such a ‘southern bell.’ I remember going ewwww, and I could never listen to them again without seeing her big hair and absurd accent.

  4. I dont like ’em cause he looks like that girl from America’s Top Model…and I used to really enjoy looking at her but now I can’t because it was actually Terrence and a bottle in a half of Nair

  5. I second that view ie relevancy and Ebony. The unexpected side effect from the Obama presidency is that silly stuff on our camp which should have expired long ago for being stale and/or rotten has found new shelf life. No if only Madea would stay in jail…PS–those wipes are very efficient…and refreshing. Made believers out of us!

  6. chenna says:

    ahh, senor baby wipes!!! every time i see that man’s eyes, i am creeped the EFF out. he’s looks like he would kiss you in one moment, and in the next beat the heck out of you with a pillow for only having 5 wipes left when he came to spend the night. lol, jamie foxx was HILARIOUS with that impersonation=o)

  7. Rainy says:

    Roslyn HolcombI totally agree with you about Scott Stapp and his wife. When I saw his wife, I was just kind of surprised he would choose someone like her. I didn’t realize he was such a jerk either.

  8. G Leigh says:

    Hey, what’s with the he’s got crazy eyes comments? My eyes look like that, just a little greener. Some of us black folks got it like that–that ‘they scare me’ thing is offensive and silly.That baby wipes comment was hilarious. Who can take that seriously, it was funny and wierd and he knew it. I think he’s handsome and I do think he is a good actor. To me he’s been believable in everything he’s been in except Iron Man. A reviewer said it kind of deteriorated (because of the script) into a kind of –what was the name of the Jack Benny sidekick–the black man on the tv show? — and I felt that too. Come on, even the brother is light-skin-ded, let’s give him a chance. At least he doesn’t spend most of his screen time in a dress, acting the fool like some Black actors we know.

  9. Danielle Belton says:

    @ G LeighI like Howard’s eyes, my criticism was with the lighting in the photograph that did make him look oddly vampiric. Under normal photographic standards and normal lighting he looks fine. In their efforts to make his eyes pop they kind of just made him look odd.I can’t speak for everyone else though.

  10. "for some sick reason the photographer lit his face so his eyes would look extra vampiric and creepy, as if he can see through my soul and right into my bathroom to see if I have a box of baby wipes resting on the counter."That made me cackle. LMAO! Terrence Howard is indeed a bit nutty.

  11. dukedraven says:

    For the record, in Roman times they used a sponge attached to a piece of wood–diped into a crude disinfectant–to wipe themselves at public restrooms. In various periods, they also used animal skins, leaves, etc. In fact, you always used your left hand for wiping and right hand for eating. People didn’t start using toilet papers until after the 1800s. To me, baby wipes or Wet Ones are an advancement in wiping. I guess they laughed at Columbus too.

  12. Robert M says:

    One you have to make the great wall of sexy a click on feature. I spend too much time watching it on your site. Two, can Zoe and Thandie do a remake of Body Double?Three, Senor Baby Wipes I finally understand. His statement about women reminds me of what Bianca said about Mick Jagger, "He married me because he wanted to f@#$ himself," when asked about herreseblance to Mick.

  13. Buck says:

    I’m still scratching my head on the hype T. Howard got for "Hustle and Flow" with that awful accent that sounded nothing like Memphis. So I must consciously distinguish the content of what he said vs. how and why he said it. I grudgingly side with him on the utility of wipes. Everyone (male or female) has the right to set their own tolerance level concerning hygiene of self and others. The spectrum of preferences runs from germophobes to scat fetishishists. Grown folks bizness is all about private matters and private preferences. But for a public figure to SPEAK on this, to announce wipes as a litmus test to be in his orbit…that is beyond fey, dude. That’s weak. America needs to recalibrate our notion of celebrity and masculinity, and this is a fine example of why. A real man, or an actor with something important to express would not have even engaged the topic in a public discourse..

  14. PhillyTeri says:

    LMAO!!@Bianca said about Mick Jagger, "He married me because he wanted to f@#$ himself…"First of all, I still like Terrence’s work and I love looking at him; He is a gorgeous guy…the "baby wipes" thing is hysterical, and I wasn’t offended myself, but I put it in that TMI category. Too deep for a interview and too personal man!My main issue with him is the talking out of both sides of his mouth in these interviews, i have found more inconsistencies from interview to interview. Just be honest…

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