TMI: When People Take Their Obama Fantasies Too Far

Obama 2008

First there was actor Alan Cumming who, quite tastelessly, decided to pronounce his theories on the Presidential wang. And that was unnecessary, but it was Alan Cumming, an over-the-top actor/celebrity known for his squickiness.

I mean, he created a mens’ cologne called “Cumming” and shot nudes of himself for the adverts. And other than him being a brilliant actor, ain’t shit about that man that’s sexy.

It was expected from him, to say the least.

But it was also down right modest compared to the abomination Michelle Obama Watch reported Monday.

Recently, many of MOWers voiced outrage over HP’s continued practice of referring to Sasha Obama as “sassy” … (b)ut all that pales by comparison after reading Mike Alvear’s recent and utterly disgusting confession regarding for First Lady Michelle Obama.

I’m guessing the sex is so hot when the Obamas are done, the Bidens light a cigarette. For the first time in years, the White House bedroom is going to see more action than Clinton’s Oval Office. Baby got back and it brought monogamy with it. Barack and Michelle are doing for fidelity what Clinton did with infidelity — make us cover our eyes and peek through our fingers.

Alvear disguises his continued insults as praise for the First Couple’s monogamous relationship with more sexual innuendos and connotations. Perhaps, it is Alvear’s need to increase his rating that he chose to play out some perverse fantasy regarding the First Couple. Or perhaps, Alvear’s belief in freedom of the press includes disrespecting a man and his wife with imaginary intimate details of their private lives. But, no matter the impetus of and no matter how its contents might be “explained away” – there is nothing that can or will ever explain his final remarks about First Lady Michelle Obama:

…And don’t get me started on her. She’s the first-ever FLILF (First Lady I’d Like To…)

(Source: “This Time Huffington Post Goes Too Far,” Michelle Obama Watch)

Um … no. Just no. Please. Stop. Don’t.

Mike Alvear and Tracey Cox, co-hosts of HBO’s “The Sex Inspectors.”I took the plunge and actually read Mike Alvear’s piece. After taking a shower and muttering “there is no God” for a few moments, I came to my senses and tried to tell myself, “Maybe this is satire? Maybe this is a joke,” I hoped, like I hoped when I read a recent a Bonnie Fuller piece on how the Obamas needed to get pregnant to save the country.

(Why the sex obsession with the Obamas, America? Is it because they’re young, good looking and black? Wait. Of course it is. Never mind.)

But Alvear just went on and on and in amazing depth and weirdness.

I realize he probably thought he was being provocative and clever and really didn’t think about how black people already have this old, crusty stigma of being sexual deviants and even discussing the freaky-deaky within the confines of a handsome new president and a lovely First Lady’s monogamous marriage STILL plays on that black bucks and wenches stereotype. He crossed the line of taste, my friends. There’s a difference between joking with your friends that “The Obamas totally still do it,” and writing a lengthy piece where you describe:

Pump, Pump. Barack, at 47, is almost 6′ 2″ and probably 170 lbs. Michelle, at 45, is almost 6′ and probably around the same weight. They don’t stay that way by doing daily doughnut drive-bys. They’re nuts about exercise, hitting the gym by 6 a.m. Shape up or the sex ships out. Arousal is about blood flow. So is exercise. You don’t need a Dalmatian to connect the dots.

I get that he wants to push the “monogamy is sexy” meme through the uber popular First Couple, but did he think before he wrote this? I’m just going to assume the poor child doesn’t know and suggest he rent a faded VHS copy of “Mandingo” from his local movie rental house.

Of course, he’d probably just get turned on and ignore the subtext of black people being used as sexual property, so … whatever.

That said, he’s the PRESIDENT and she’s THE FIRST LADY! Yeah, we think they’re hot, but to write about them having sex? Eeewwww! Not cool!

17 thoughts on “TMI: When People Take Their Obama Fantasies Too Far

  1. The obsession into assuming fantasies of The Obamas is generated, latent envy. Just pure envy. It’s curiosity. When I used to watch Heathcliff and Claire, it was familiar. It was soul. I saw the sexual energy in so many married families members or random Black couples. It was soul. I remember even seeing school teachers, male and female, whose partners was just as openly, loving and frisky in front of us kids. It was soul. It’s who we are–we were–when we love hard and daring. I think because our people have been invisible when they were quite visible in integrated society that most people did not see this loving, sexual nuance in Blacks. They saw what they wanted to see which was, yes, as termed "deviantly" sexual. What our loving affection is what used to be us: soul.I just don’t think Whites were prone to this curiosity though. I think as well a lot of young Black people who rarely saw it (soul nuaced through dislays of affection) knew how to recognize the nurtured love in Black couples because they were programmed to not notice it. Soul disappeared. Instead they replicated the louder memes (sythetic forms of affection) of who we were sexually in deformed relationships. Quite simply…Michelle and Barack behaviors are so old-schooled (soul) and familiar of my formative years that I can see how it would be intoxicating to anyone now in the present. And assuming their sexual energy and sexual proclivity is what people are thinking. You can’t stop that. I think it is very healthy that a paradigm is breaking: evidence a Black man and a Black woman can adore each other and vice-versa so much that they can barely keep their hands off of each other if just for the simple touch when others dictate they should be prudish and restrained. Michelle and Barack’s sexual character is intimidating to those who may be in a dysfunctional challenged relationship faking it. That could be a couple or groups of people. Americans are sexually immature. We don’t reward affection. We mock it and then simplify it as deviance instead of understanding it is physiology and natural selection at best. It’s human. It’s soul. I think Barack and Michelle are good for the country’s need to mature about sex, sex lives, sexual maturity, and brokering a commitment to love out loud.So what if Whites manifest fantasies about their sexuality. They were going to do it anyway because it is foreign. I think The Obamas are great for sex education in adults as well as for children who need to not be ashamed of thinking that affection is to be rationed, delegated, or sequestered. Children can learn to explore sex with the affirmation of brokering committed relationship instead of just random exploration with just anyone and everyone. So many people need to see this. They never saw it before. And as for Whites who have better track records at coupling, they seem to not master affection and intimacy because that comes from what is trademark of Blacks: soul.I know it seems disrespectful but people have always intruded in assuming presidential sex lives. It’s the nature of the beast. What has always appealed to others was what was different. It was our "soul". We just gave it up for other things trying to be like others. We are best when we are exhibiting soul. That what I think people are obsessed with and just reduce it to thinking that is it beastial sex when it is our soul they covet. (Remember: people displace importance when even they don’t understand what drives or intrigues them…i.e. White People obsessed with Black People having sex. They don’t get that it is our soul they covet to even exploit, mock, destroy, or defame. They just want to colonize it like other things they wanted to dictate, rename, and own.)

  2. I do think the Obama’s have managed, over 16 years, 2 children, 2 careers and his presidential ambitions, to keep the flame of passion smoldering, if not always burning. It’s good to see the affection and attraction between them. But I refuse to believe that they’re not like many other couples, that they don’t periodically become tired of each other with the familiarity of a long marriage, they they don’t get overwhelmed with their responsibilities as parents and now president and first lady, enough to keep passion a bay because of exhaustion or sleepless nights.To some degree they have let the media create this fantasy of them – if they wanted to, they could have stood decorously side by side but there was gain for all of us to see a different, younger model of a couple running for high office, and they were it. And they truly care about each other, so the affection on display is for real.I enjoy their afffectionate gestures towards each other, which are as much about deep friendship and understanding as anything, but I think that media speculation about their sex life is totally inappropriate. Yeah, it does sound like it’s a white re-do of the old sterotypes but I remember watching Jamie Foxx say at the inaugural ball, looking at Obama that you could tell he was a black man the way he was hip-locked and grinding into his wife – and then checking himself when Obama shot him a look like ‘this isn’t appropriate man, shut up.’ It’s all interesting.

  3. I love watching the Obamas. I definitely "get" the fixation. We are starving for that same kind of love in our own lives. Their affection is genuine and inspiring. They are so tender with each other, down to the way they look at each other. My absolute favorite is when President Obama whispers in his wife’s ear and she usually giggles or smiles.. that is priceless! I could watch that all day 🙂

  4. I am just way to disappointed that so many people never saw this coming. It is the tsunami of ignorance that African Americans are going to deal with for the next 4 years and then only a quarter of it will be gone.

  5. There has always been a fascination with black sexuality, well sexuality of all people of color around the world. How do they do it? Are they different from us? When do that do it? What does "it" loo like. All of these questions have served as the context of how many in white America and Europeans have viewed the sexual interaction of people of color. Now that 2 people of African descent sleep in the white house, the curiosity is peaked even more. But aren’t we all guilty of this?Is our disgust a reaction of protection of a President that is loved so dearly, and for many represents hope that was defered?I don’t know.

  6. Hey, D. I say this with love–you think too much. i wrote that article cuz I happen to love the Obamas. And if you’d seen the link that I gave to see pics of the love that I was celebrating–or if you’d seen the comments from men and women all over the world to those pics, I think you’d have a think of what you wrote. Not that I think all of it was wrong. ;>)

  7. The Obama advisers should have predicted this – the way many (whites) will respond to black sexuality displayed. I too do not believe the Obamas are ALWAYS this affectionate with each other – they have been married nearly 20 years, it’s not continual peaches and cream! I always felt they should tone it down a bit, no need to be that demonstrative in public virtually all the time. At best people will admire and envy (in a good way) your relationship. At worst – well, crude drivel like this will be written, sickos include you in their deviant fantasies, too many people keep speculating and commenting on your sex life and many more will be just downright jealous. I’ll bet there are people out there hoping and praying it all goes wrong ‘cos they are mad and jealous this couple appear so fulfilled; not to mention the many desperate women who will make it their mission to bed him. I am not one to show too much affection in public not because I am repressed (NOPE!) but because I think some things are strictly private between a couple. Black sexuality will always be a source of fascination even when there is no concrete material to fuel it – heck remember Erin Kaplan’s (was that her name?) piece on Michelles rear? That was just plain stupid and rude. But when you give them ammunition by looking like you both cannot wait to get to the nearest room.. well…there we go.It’s illogical and crazy but so are many human beings.

  8. @ MikeI get that you like the Obamas and I get what you were trying to do. I just thought it was a little TMI. That’s all. I mean, I’m just one of those folks who would rather not hypothesize the Obamas’ sex life in the public sphere. Dude’s the president.Aaaaand, I don’t know if you’ve noticed people already tend to be fixated on the Obamas’ sexuality anyway to the point of creepiness and if your post existed in a vacuum maybe it wouldn’t have bothered me as much. But between all the discussion of Michelle’s ass, Barack’s wang and everything in-between, your post (which was about promoting marital fidelity, I get that) wound up being lumped into the garden of articles, blogs and people who seem really, really, really preoccupied with this. Writing about affection is one thing. But as I wrote, black people have a HISTORY of being treated like sexual deviants whose proclivities are always up for discussion, dissection and exploitation.That was not your intention, I know. But … I don’t recall anyone making this much fuss over any presidential martial sex life since never. It just came off a little tacky, dude. Nothing personal.

  9. I read Alvear’s post and cannot understand the outrage. Black people have sex. The Obama’s obviously have sex. There is no problem acknowledging either point. I guess my attitude is like the French (my creole heritage) or the brasilieros; there is nothing wrong with seeing these two beautiful people as sexy and sexual. This U.S. trait of sexual censure needs to go the way of the dodo. Nothing disrespectful was written. I can see why my fellow black Americans might be tempted to go to the Mandingo film (the whole socio-cultural objectification of the black body and the projection of sexual promiscuousness and domination thing), but it was unwarranted here. African America needs to grow up about human sexuality, disconnect it from religion, and stop seeing it as something verboten.

  10. @ RoderickI see your point about the French, but the over-sexualization of black people didn’t exactly end with "Mandingo" and continues today. With a paucity of black images in mass media, next to athlete and musician, the other images are violent criminal and lovely programming like VH-1’s "I Love New York" and "Flavor of Love." Not to mention the softcore porn elements in almost every other rap music video. So, it’s still a problem and still a prevalent stereotype. As I said before, if the article existed in a vacuum it wouldn’t have bothered me as much but people are overly preoccupied with the sexuality of the Obamas. The Obamas happen to be black. Black people are often overly sexualized in mass media. My problem isn’t with the Obamas having sex (Good Lord, sex is a wonderful thing). My problem is with people objectifying them sexually, whether their intentions are innocent or not.

  11. Andrea I loved your post. Spot on. It’s clear that these 2 generate heat! I’m sorry but it’s true. And just in case you think it’s just the US that’s obsessed, I’m afraid this thing is worldwide. They love each other, and show it. They make the empty sexuality of TV and movies seem just that, empty and draw people’s attention like moths to a flame. People are literally warming themselves on the Obama’s love! Cold frigid people that is, that didn’t think there was anything lacking in their relationships or intimacy until they saw this couple and realised what they’ve been missing. Yes there’s jealousy and voyeurism but also a reeducation for folks both black and white. After nearly 2 decades of promiscuity and a blatant disrespect for women and emotional intimacy being stuffed down black folks throats via Hiphop culture, it’s about time. The Obama’s are bringing the REAL sexy back!

  12. Yeah, I thought it was a little too "TMI" to, but at least people are having some fantasies that are about a monogamous couple who respect each other, treat each other with dignity, and most of all truly love each other. We’re so used to seeing The Sexy being fake & degrading that we’re all super excited (granted, to the point of totally overacting and becoming obsessive) when The Sexy is real, honest, and beautiful. American culture has some serious problems with its sexuality (those ‘Ex-Masturbator’ t-shirts being case in point! Don’t get me started…) so lets just let the TMI’ers have their day. It’s actually a good thing, albeit a cringe inducing. It’ll all calm down. We’ll start seeing a day when respectful, loving sex as portrayed in the media is the norm and not the exception. And that day cannot come soon enough. Know hope! (In the bedroom.)

  13. Yeah, I thought it was a little too "TMI" to, but at least people are having some fantasies that are about a monogamous couple who respect each other, treat each other with dignity, and most of all truly love each other. We’re so used to seeing The Sexy being fake & degrading that we’re all super excited (granted, to the point of totally overacting and becoming obsessive) when The Sexy is real, honest, and beautiful. American culture has some serious problems with its sexuality (those ‘Ex-Masturbator’ t-shirts being case in point! Don’t get me started…) so lets just let the TMI’ers have their day. It’s actually a good thing, albeit a cringe inducing. It’ll all calm down. We’ll start seeing a day when respectful, loving sex as portrayed in the media is the norm and not the exception. And that day cannot come soon enough. Know hope! (In the bedroom.)

  14. The guy could have made the comments about them representing a solid, affectionate and passionate relationship … but he had to sink to the lowest possible denominator and get crude. It may be the case that some people just need to put African Americans in a box and objectify them even when they are holders of high office. It may be that the guy is an immature fantasist trying to get attention.

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