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He Makes Your Crappy Governor Look Good

Gov. Hot Rod goes down! … And on the way out manages to poop on an otherwise wondrous Obama-riffic election.

CHICAGO — Gov. Rod R. Blagojevich of Illinois was arrested by federal authorities on Tuesday morning on corruption charges, including an allegation that he conspired to effectively sell President-elect Barack Obama’s seat in the United States Senate to the highest bidder.

Mr. Blagojevich, a Democrat, called his sole authority to name Mr. Obama’s successor “golden,” and he sought to parlay it into a job as an ambassador or secretary of health and human services, or a high-paying position at a nonprofit or an organization connected to labor unions, prosecutors said in a 76-page affidavit by the United States Attorney’s office in the Northern District of Illinois.

He also suggested, the affidavit said, that in exchange for the Senate appointment, his wife could be placed on corporate boards where she might earn as much as $150,000 a year, and he tried to gain promises of money for his campaign fund.

If Mr. Blagojevich could not secure a deal to his liking, prosecutors said, he was willing to appoint himself.

“If I don’t get what I want and I’m not satisfied with it, then I’ll just take the Senate seat myself,” the governor said in recorded conversation, prosecutors said. (Source: New York Times)

Classy!

Our bi-state neighbor Illinois has always been the City Mouse to Missouri’s Country Mouse. Largely because Illinois is home to Chicago, the third largest city in the United States. We in St. Louis could have been Chicago about 100 years ago when we were the fourth largest city in the US, but we got all protectionist about some damn ferry boat traffic and the railroads expanded rapidly and the rest is history.

It’s not that we don’t have corruption in Missouri. Heavens to Murgatroid, we do! It’s just, our drama always looks so hokey by comparison. For instance, our dorkwad, asshat, boy wonder governor, Matt “Little Boy” Blunt, cut state medical benefits for thousands of Missourians and got caught up in a very Bush-lite email records scandal. He chose not to run for re-election this year, realizing he was going to get owned by the Democratic competitor, former attorney general Jay Nixon. Either that, or there was another scandal under his bed. He wasn’t very specific when he declared that he accomplished all he set out to do in a turbulent, effed up three years. 

I don’t know. It didn’t matter. Nixon won anyway, calling his competition Nanny-Nanny-Blunt-Bush over and over.

Over in City Mouse country, Illinois Gov. Rod Blagojevich has a 76 page indictment that includes everything from shaking down the friggin’ Chicago Tribune in a pay-for-play scheme/fire-your-reporters-because-I-hate-their-faces gambit with a little quid pro quo on the state helping out with the media company’s sale of the Cubs … to demanding between half-million to a million dollars in cash, plus an appointment or ambassadorship for President-Elect Barack Obama’s vacated senate seat. You know? Because if he couldn’t get some scratch he might as well appoint himself. Hint, hint. Wink, wink!

Prosecutors also alleged Blagojevich expressed feeling “stuck” as a sitting governor and spent a large amount of time weighing whether he should appoint himself to the vacancy–possibly to avoid impeachment and help remake his image for a potential 2016 run for the presidency. A recent Tribune poll found Blagojevich with a record low 13 percent job approval rating. (Chicago Tribune)

CNN (among others) are speculating that potential senate appointee who may have balked and tattled on the already embattled Blagojevich was none other than Obama adviser and long-time family friend, Valerie Jarrett. She withdrew her name from consideration and took a job in the White House. And considering the fact the FBI has been working on Blagojevich’s brand of Chicago-land politics for some time, this must have been the turd cherry on the shit sundae the federal government has been making in hopes will take down (another) Illinois governor.

But who’s surprised that Blagojevich is being accused of this? Illinois has a hit streak going of douchy governors not matter what party they come from, with one presently serving a six year prison sentence. So far Obama is not getting beat up over this. And I’d actually consider him among the “victims” if the tale about Blagojevich trying to get Jarrett to cough up cash for the seat is true. But this will certainly be entertaining. Perhaps Blagojevich didn’t want the Republican governor to be in prison alone … or, this may explain why he was lobbying on former Gov. Ryan’s behalf to get a pardon from President George W. Bush. Perhaps Hot Rod knew what was coming down the pike and needed some karma on his side.

Hot Rod’s karma came up all kinds of fail though. All kinds.

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12 thoughts on “He Makes Your Crappy Governor Look Good

  1. Anonymous says:

    It doesn't matter the Republicans will blame Obama for something. Oh, well moving along.At least Fox News has something to cry about for the next two months. I'm sure they got sick of talking about Rev. Wright & Ayers…lol

  2. I’ve written about Blago for months. Knew he was going to be outfitted for an orange jumpsuit. He’s a crook. His wife is a crook (she learned it honestly – at her Daddy’s knee).He will NOT be resigning. They will either impeach him, or the Feds will come to him with enough to indict his WIFE. It’d be a cold man to want to see his children without their father AND mother. He’s been in a war with his in-laws, so no leaving the kids with them. I admit it. I’m shocked. I’m shocked any mofo who has had everyone around him going down for corruption could be stupid enough to believe that his ass wasn’t being wiretapped, and thus, should know better to STFU.

  3. Anonymous says:

    i don’t know. george w. bush was a past governor. we’re still trying to get rid of rick perry. it’s seems like a toss up.

  4. anonymous 12:34 p.m.: I’m still holding out for the beautiful disaster that would be a Rick “Good Hair” Perry/Mitt “Mittens” Romney 2012 ticket. It will never happen, but imagine all the hair products on the campaign bus?! Imagine the accusations of who used up all of whose styling mousse? The joke possibilities are endless.

  5. Anonymous says:

    I’ll say this here cuz I’d get run out of town if I published a nice word about Blagojevich in this town: he’s not as bad as he’s made out to be (though he is every bit as dumb). Coming from Missouri, where our governor kicked hella poor people off Medicaid, it was refreshing to have a gov who was expanding health care, who told President Bush to go [expletive] himself and bought drugs from Candada, and who appointed record numbers of brown people to high-profile positions. He just had to be so stupid about everything else……

  6. well,Yeah, I voted for him, but never liked him. I voted for him over the Republican candidate–that’s normal for us, lesser of two evils seeing as how no third party candidate realyl gets their platform out en masse.That being said, I hope they go after Daley soon.Annnnd…I’m ready to slap every conservative pundit out there who’s just salivating at the IDEA of Obama’s name coming up in this “complaint” (wtf, who get’s arrested for a complaint?!?!!? this country’s bonkers!!) Seriously, I want to tell them all to “FALL BACK!” If they didn’t get him with Rezko, the chances of this are slim to none and slim is on vacation. If his name comes up, I’m thinking conspiracy.@ anonymous (1)Well, Wright preached the church’s anniversary on this last Sunday and he called Elisabeth Hasselbeck a “Dumb broad” if I got it correct. Yeah, that didn’t go over well. I really wish he wouldn’t say such things, because it is NOT helping the church heal!!!

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