VOTE! VOTE! VOTE! OR DIDDY WILL KILL YOU! (And possibly Jay-Z … and yeah, probably me and a majority of The Black Snob’s readers. Really. We’re not fucking around. Vote. And don’t bother asking “who.” YOU KNOW WHO!
“The Great Hope Mongerer!” “Hopey McChangey!” Sasha and Malia’s daddy!
Don’t you want Sasha and Malia’s daddy in the White House? Look at their faces! How can you say no to those faces!?!?!
And Michelle Obama (here campaigning her ass of in Colorado yesterday), are you going to DENY her the right to become the full-fledged style, aspirational, successful, talented, smart black woman icon she rightly deserves to be as First Lady? And don’t get me started on my dear Hopey McChangey himself, Barack Obama. He’s brilliant. He’s cool under pressure. He gives a rat’s ass about the po’ folk (that’s all that unfaithful bastard John Edwards asked for when he endorsed him).
And he’s going to attempt what has never been done — fix the healthcare system in the US. And he’s not John McCain and those are the official Snob reasons why I’m voting Obama. Obama’s bringing the smart back and I’m all for it. End every playground diss of a black nerd. That could be the next Barack or Michelle Obama so STFU, bratty children! You too, overtly negative yet gleefully ignorant black people! All that’s over. I’m officially declaring the war against ourselves done. Let’s go to war over something meaningful: like making sure our votes get counted by any means necessary. Don’t worry about your parking tickets and warrants, people. Or if your home is foreclosed. GO VOTE! THE VOTE KILLERS ARE LYING TO YOU! If you go vote all that will happen is voting. I promise.
And man, I wanted to write something beautiful and meaningful about today, but … I’m too full of LET’S DO THIS THING! More meaningful perspective later today (along with regular updates after 4 p.m.) on this historic election that is the biggest thing to happen since 1968.