Obama’s “Variety Half-Hour” Is Tonight

Plus alternative viewing suggestions for the Obama adverse

Once again Barack Obama is raising the chorus of “just who does he think he is” with his latest bit of political gamesmanship.

“No one will delay a World Series game with an infomercial when I’m president,” McCain told voters in Pennsylvania, appealing to Phillies fans backing their team in the championship. Fox, scheduled to air the World Series tonight, agreed to delay the game by 15 minutes for Obama’s program.

He’ll be on a television network near you telling you why he’s gonna be your man. Will it be flashy? Will it be moving? Will it be just him talking? Will there be special effects? What’s the point in being Tinsletown’s candidate of choice if you can’t whip out the big cinematic guns? He’s already blowing millions on air time. No point in going cheap.

John McCain is doing his McGrumpypants grumbling about how he’d never and this is so presumptuous and blah, blah, blah … who cares? Everyone knows this is about who has money and who doesn’t. Who’s on top and who isn’t. Just because your opponent won’t politely lie down and choke to make up for your shortcomings is no excuse to walk around looking like Mr. Yukmouth. I mean, bringing up some Palestinian American college professor at the 11th hour? One who A) isn’t a terrorist, B) hasn’t done anything and C) may have been critical of the government of Israel? I have a newsflash: People in ISRAEL are critical of Israel. Are we going to bomb Israel now for not being pro-Israel enough?

That said, I’ll be watching Barack tell me what I like to hear, but what if you’re not interested in reruns? After all, I’m going to guess that more than 99.9 percent of Snob readers already know who they’re voting for and Barack could come on TV with dancing girls riding a unicycle, healing the blind, spitting out $100 bills like an ATM while Bill Clinton dances the ol’ soft shoe and you’d still yawn and go “AGAIN? Sigh. I already saw Barack raise the dead and cure lepers in Denver last week!”

So here are some 30 minute programming alternatives for people who DON’T plan on watching The Barack Obama: Hope for A Change Variety Half-Hour at 7 p.m. CST (8 p.m. EST) tonight.

  • “Tyler Perry’s House of Payne (TBS)” — I wouldn’t watch it. But it will kill 30 minutes!
  • “Pushing Daisies (ABC)” — ABC passed on showing Obama’s commercial and instead want you to watch “Pushing Daisies,” yet another victim of the writer’s strike. It had good ratings … once. Don’t you want to watch a show about a pie baker who can bring dead things to life and re-kill them by touching them? It’s supposed to be a whimsical and stuff? I wouldn’t watch it. It doesn’t involve hot doctors who can’t keep their pants on or Vanessa Williams being a vamp or hot people trapped in a mindfuck TV show about a sci-fi island. Sorry ABC.
  • “House Rerun (USA)” — You could watch Hugh Laurie abuse people! That’s always fun! It’s the “Daddy’s Boy” episode where he tries to avoid having dinner with his parents. There’s also some annoying sick person who needs saving. The usual.
  • “Jason Goes to Hell: The Final Friday (AMC)” — Can’t further from politics than one of the worst horror films ever made.
  • “NBA: Suns versus Spurs (ESPN)” — I don’t like either of those teams. I’m a Golden State, Lakers girl.
  • Cable News — Regular CNN will give you Campbell Brown talking about Obama’s show. CNN Headline News will give you Nancy Grace talking about dead and/or missing white woman and/or child of the week! Keith Olbermann will be on “Countdown” (talking about Obama effusively and with no shame to his pleasure.) and Bill O’Reilly will be in his “no spin zone” giving his spin on Obama on “The O’Reilly Factor” on FOX News.
  • “VH1’s 100 Greatest Hip Hop Songs (VH1)” — How long has VH1 been nothing but reality shows and lists?
  • “Paris Hilton’s My New BFF” (MTV) — Paris Hilton still needs friends apparently.
  • “Law & Order Rerun (TNT)” — They’re showing a 2006 episode involving a dead mafia accountant. I think I’ve seen that one ten or 12 times, so I’m passing.
  • “Clean House (Style)” — Support Nicey Nash and the flower in her hair!
  • “Dr. 90210 (E!)” — Plastic surgery on egomaniacs!
  • “Miami Drug Cartel (NGC)” — Ooo … say hello to my real life little friend in this tale of cocaine and violence.
  • “Honey (Oh!)” — Jessica Alba. Watch her with the sound turned down. The acting? Not good.
  • “Aliens (FMC)” — Fox Movie Channel is showing the only good movie I’ve seen coming on at the same time when Barack opens his mouth, the original “Aliens” and it’s still as creepy as it was when it first came out in the late 1970s.

Check your listings!

2 thoughts on “Obama’s “Variety Half-Hour” Is Tonight

  1. Well, I’m in my second season of “Rome”, so I’m going to watch that. The best miniseries since Roots, I might add. I’ll watch Obama later since I record everything to speed through the slow parts and commercials. I don’t read too much anymore, preferring instead to do speed TV. And I’m so full of myself that I have to give my opinion on everything. I like the sound of my own words–that’s real bad.

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