Fear of A Black First Lady

As Michelle Obama’s no. 1 fan, I do a regular Google Alert search on her name daily to keep abreast of Michelle news (and I read Michelle Obama Watch and Mrs-O.org). But I also get a lot of anti-Michelle news that grates my nerves. Mostly because I can’t believe the level of stupidity going on. Sometimes I’ll be irked enough to actually click on one of the links and respond. But I realize that the majority of the time it is not worth wasting my mad typing skills. These individuals choose to be ignorant (and both vaugely and overtly racist), but that doesn’t stop me from sharing with you the top 10 things I’m tired of seeing in my Shelly O. Google search.

1. The mythical Michelle Obama “whitey” tape: Stop insulting me. Unless you’re George Jefferson, black people DO NOT call white people “whitey.” What the hell does that even mean? That’s like calling me “blackie.” That’s an insult?

Black people call white people a lot of things. For instance, if you’re from Arkansas, as I’ve pointed out before, the word is “peckerwood.” In some parts of Africa it’s “ofay.” The stray “cracker” will sometimes pop out, but most black people just call white people “white people.” Not “whitey.”

That and … THE TAPES AREN’T REAL, MORONS!

2. Michelle Obama and the lobster v. terrorist caviar debacle: Page Six recently admitted that the story of Michelle ordering up not one, but two lobsters, lobster based appetizers, champagne and some “Iranian” caviar for room service recently was not true. Despite the strong whiff of fake coming from that yarn Page Six and the bloggers ran with it.

My favorite quote/comment on Gawker about the subject comes from Jill7:

Page Six: “We regret reporting erroneously that Michelle Obama ordered Iranian caviar, two whole lobsters, a lobster hors d’oeuvres and champagne from room service at the Waldorf Astoria. We have since been informed by very reliable sources on the internet that she had Iranian caviar, North Korean kimchee, whatever the hell Venezuelans consider a signature dish, fried chicken, watermelon, and malt liquor while staying in a crack house. YOU CAN TRUST US THIS TIME.”

And I’m tired of the smear, once again, of every country with a Muslim population as a bunch of terrorists. I have a neighbor who’s Persian. As a teen I babysat his kids. He worked as an Engineer for Boeing and enjoys soccer. The guy will actually sit and talk to Jehovah’s Witnesses for hours even though he’s a Muslim (he enjoys a good conversation). He’s probably the nicest man I know and loves America despite the fact that he had to deal with some unpleasant crap during the first Gulf War and we weren’t even verbally sparring with fighting Iran then. If we did go to war with Iran it would directly affect him because the majority of his family still lives there. I worry that he can’t go visit because the climate being what it is between the two countries he’s likely to be arrested as an “American spy” like many other US citizens of Persian descent were.

I became a better person for knowing this man, his kindness and his family. I also went to school with (and have worked with) Muslims from here, India, Pakistan and Malaysia, Muslims who are black, white, Asian and Middle Eastern. I really wish the ignoramuses would stop bashing entire groups of people and their countries of origin. If Colin Powell says to chill on the Muslim/Arab/Iranian bashing, maybe you should effing chill.

3. Michelle Obama “proud of American” moment meets Michelle Obama “racist college thesis:” I don’t even bother clicking on these.

4. What if SNL made fun of Michelle Obama?: My favorite bigot, Patrick J. Buchanan allegedly brought this up in a recently penned column, pondering what would happen if Saturday Night Live lampooned Michelle Obama. Um … here are some OBVIOUS answers WHY the not-ready-for-prime-time-players haven’t touched Michelle.

  • They have no female African American cast members. They don’t even have a racially ambiguous person like Fred Armisten to darken up with some light Egyptian pancake, or Maya Rudolph anymore — who despite being biracial and as not dark as Michelle could probably do a good Michelle (and Condi Rice and her Beyonce and Whitney Houston were on point).

  • Michelle Obama isn’t running for president (or vice president). SNL hasn’t made fun of Cindy McCain either and she’s rife for parody (the clothes alone are worth it). Kristen Wiig would do a killer Cindy McCain (or a non-knocked up Amy Poehler) but they haven’t because CINDY MCCAIN ISN’T RUNNING FOR ANYTHING!

  • SNL would love to do a Michelle Obama skit. Write them and tell them to steal Mad TV player Debra Wilson to j
    oin the cast. I love Debra Wilson. She’s so diesel, yet funny. And her Oprah was better than Rudolph’s Oprah (and Rudolph did a damn good Oprah). A matter of fact, notice that Mad TV actually employs at least two Negroes on a consistent basis and one of the grossest Asian comics in history, Bobby Lee (who plays John McCain, of all things). Catch a clue SNL. Diversify your cast and you’ll maximize your funny.

5. Michelle Obama rips into a racial tirad to “African Press International:” Once again — FAKE. Show me the reports! Show me the tapes, bloggers! I realize that while Michelle is my shero, she’s the opposition’s new “chocolate” Hillary Clinton dominatrix meant to whip the “whities” of the world into submission. That she’s going to borrow Condi Rice’s black, high heeled stormtropper boots and start beating grown white men demanding that they shout “I’m black and I’m proud” a la “The Players Club,” but these bloggers need to get their minds out of their pants. Michelle is not Sapphire. Sapphire is not Michelle.

6. Michelle Obama hates white people: Does that mean she hates one half of her husband? Or one quarter of her daughters? Or her in-laws? Or the Bidens? Or the campaign staffers?

I could go on and on.

I get crazy Barack stuff too, like how he wasn’t really born here and is therefore ineligible for the presidency … (even though, per the constitution that point is moot — his mother was an American citizen therefore he was born an American. Tis the rules people).

Never mind, I’m pretty sure Hillary would have brought that fact up during the primary if it were true. Just like all the Ayers flap and the other garbage the internet is en fuego with in light of Sean Hannity not supplying enough of their crackpot Obama news. Gee, don’t these people think that if Sean Hannity could get his hands some Ofay hatin’ tapes he would play them non-stop? What is wrong with these people! How you take the most Carlton Banks of non-Republican of black men and his brainy, brassy OBVIOUSLY American wife and make them out to be black Zapatistas is beyond me. But if you need an excuse not to vote for the future, I suppose you can find some weak excuse here in the fictitious flaws in Michelle Obama’s moral character.

Even though she’s not running.

23 thoughts on “Fear of A Black First Lady

  1. Snob, It’s half and half with Mrs. Obama. I mean half the people hate her simply for being Black and the other half just hate on her being a Dem Wife (Think of the mad hating Hillary got back in the 90s). If Obama is lucky enough to become President get ready for four years of racist and sexist bull about poor Mrs. Obama. Because the Republicans will never stop going after her with crazy ass stories. I mean they never gave up on Hillary either. That’s just how the wingnuts role 😉

  2. I remember when the word “Whitey” was used–in life and in the movies–as I was growing up. Truth be told, I haven’t heard the word in a very long time. It’s a throwback word and I don’t believe for a moment that Michelle was heard saying it. It’s another urban/internet legend. Secondly, SNL misses a lot of chances to mock politics all the time. The show doesn’t have those edgy, rebellious people writing the skits anymore. And it’s a complete farce for Repubs to call Obama a socialist. When I was in college back in the ’70s, I had an openly Marxist professor (he wore the cliched beret) and the socialist/communist groups were actively recruiting on campus. I even went to some of the meetings (the atheism turned me off), so I know what a socialist is, and believe me, Obama is no socialist.

  3. I still find “whitey” hilarious. I have never heard that outside of The Jeffersons. Ever. In Alex Haley’s Roots, the preferred word in Africa (Was it Gambia? I can’t remember…) for Europeans was “toubob”. But here lately, the only things I hear on occasion are “white people,” “crackers,” or simply, “they.”I believe to this day that Alma (Mrs. Colin) Powell knew years ago that this is exactly what she and her family were NOT going to endure.

  4. Other than The Jefferson’s, the only time I’ve heard the term whitey was on a Sly and the Family Stone track “Don’t Call Me Nigger, Whitey” but I used to jokingly think that wasn’t an equal insult (well, compared to “nigger”). But then again, what is?And you’re right, SNL needs to diversify their cast and writers badly. I think MadTV has always been funnier because of its diversity and content. MadTV’s lamest skit is nowhere as bad as SNL’s lamest skit (you know, the ones that tend to come on after the Weekend Update).

  5. It is a shame that such an article is even needed. I thank God for the post by the Black Snob she posted today. I thought it was well done and extremely accurate. Some of the insults and criticisms again Mrs. Obama has been awful. She isn’t running for President. While I”m sure she is going to supporting Barak, giving him some advice (she is just as educated and intelligent as he is; and more than some if not most of her detractors), Michelle will not be the decision maker and breaker.

  6. Name me ONE attractive, sophisticated, intelligent, self-assured First Lady since Jackie Kennedy. ::crickets:: I know. Now I love Hillary, but um, sophisticated and attractive don’t come to mind. Michelle Obama fits all of the above.

  7. Mad TV has been doing some pretty funny political skits this season. News-caster rant: Barack Obama want’s to tax the rich: and I just got rich it’s not fair!

  8. ‘Whitey’ was only something White folks could believe.Black folks were like, GTFOH. I know…Michelle hates White folks…she’s been faking it with Barack’s Grandmother and family for what, 19 years? Damn, she’s good. Folks is crazy. They hate Michelle because she’s a self-respecting Black (and I do mean BLACK) woman. They don’t understand what Barack is doing married TO HER. Even though, it’s obvious that MICHELLE is the true prize….and I always gave Barack credit for mining that gem, and not letting it slip away.

  9. I agree 100% with the first post. She is hated half because she is a Democrat. The same things happened to Hillary. Rpublicans HATE hillary clinton. Everything does not have to do with race.

  10. Thank you! I have no idea why white people insist on putting on psychological blackface in order to call themselves “whitey,” but it’s not cute. It’s weird. I’ve never said it in my life, except when I’ve been quoting a white person ventriloquizing an imaginary black person. Kind of vaudevillian, don’t you think?

  11. I don’t know why you would think that hating MO would have to be one or the other, Anon 9:24. It’s quite easy for people to hate MO because she’s black AND because she’s married to that Muslim Marxist Socialist who is going to Destroy America. Check out some of the Michelle hate-sites and tell me whether you can spot some racialized insults. It doesn’t make it any better to pretend that racism is somehow not a part of what’s going on here. What gets me the most is that underlying at least some criticism is the feeling that she should be more GRATEFUL. Instead, she’s just an angry, uppity black woman who has the nerve to not be bowing and scraping to the man. That line of thinking is disgusting.

  12. Alright, this is the last time I’m going to say this. Read my lips if you have a hearing impairment. The term “Whitey” was used by black people back in the day. No, it’s not generally a word used by white people pretending to be black, although there may be a few pulling these shenanigans. (So cut me some slack, jack. My mama didn’t raise no fools if I dig my rap.) Seriously, if you never heard the term “Whitey” used, then you’re probably too young to know. A lot of people at this site are younguns, I can tell. In that case, sit down, keep quiet and mind your elders. Okay, secondly, it also depends upon what geographical area you came from. I grew up in New Jersey during the ’60s and ’70s and that word was used back then, I kid you not. If you’re a black person and lived in the South during this period, you probably said word “Massa” or “Boss” instead. Just joking, my people. Really, the word was also said in bunches of blaxploitation movies I saw as a child. I know it doesn’t sound cool today, but deal with it, folks, it’s part of our history and you can’t whitewash it.

  13. Great website! I agree with all of your comments on the smears against Michelle. She is a very intelligent, warm and classy lady and I look forward to having her as our First Lady–she’s a breath of fresh, honest air! Keep up the good work!!

  14. great article. I do wonder about the neo-cons, all of which claim to be such good Christians, who constantly lie about Mrs. Obama and the senator. Seems that they have managed to forget that the Bible says not to “bear false witness” and that God has no need of anyone lying for him (Romans 3).

  15. Here’s today’s top Yahoo searches1.Hayden Panettiere2. Julianne Hough3. Michelle Obama4. Cheap Halloween…5. Winter Weddings6. Computer Safety Tips7. Printable Coupons8. Chili Recipes9. Fallout 310. Vacation PackagesMost people like her. It’s funny who’s not on that list…..

  16. I love Michelle Obama! I agree with another poster about her being a big prize. I definitely like Barack more for winning her admiration and respect. The love that they openly share between them is so refreshing to see on the national stage. She is smart, classy, a hard worker and down-to-earth. I like the way she prioritizes and protects her family (unlike the GOP V.P. candidate). I love how Michelle is not afraid to tease Barack and keep him grounded and how he welcomes it. Fabulous! (I’ve been married for 27 years so I know a thing or two about it!)That being said, I believe that people find Michelle scarier than Barack. Smart, strong black women are found to be scary. They must pluck some chord of deep insecurity that I cannot personally relate to – they inspire me. I have seen the dismal statistics for professional black women as related to finding life partners. Women report that men are extremely intimidated by them. As an observant white woman I am sympathetic because I believe it is indeed extremely difficult for my friends of color to find confident men of equivalent stature (not necessarily income/wealth).This has made me wonder and consider, “If a significant number of black men are afraid of successful, smart, strong black women, is it a surprise that buried in the average white psyche is a (possibly totally unconscious) deep fear of these powerful women?”And let’s not rule out plain old jealousy ladies, Michelle has so much more going on than the other two high profile women on the stage. Education, class, personality – she’s got it all over them!

  17. I think it’s a lot of undereducated and right-wing white men who are afraid of Michelle Obama because they don’t have a tactic for how to deal with a black woman who is their social superior. The paradigm they believe in is all about white men at the top, and everyone else gets ranked below them by color, then gender, etc, etc.Sad that they are so hung up on their wrongful entitlements because she is the most wonderful, gifted, thoughtful and interesting individual to be up for First Lady in our lifetimes. This is so unprecedented, this is going to be a First Couple of both elegance and authentic intellectual substance.

  18. As an old, fat, white guy, I am looking forward to having an Intelligent, thoughtful, classy, and beautiful, first lady. Michelle is my idea of an American beauty!

  19. Wingnuts hate everyone, including themselves.The politics of low self-esteem.It’s rather sad when you allow yourself to sit back, and think about it.

  20. The right wing is primarily governed by fear, fear of the other, fear of losing what they have, fear of change and fear of the unknown. The Obamas scare the shit out of them. Black (fear of other), intellectual (fear of unknown), progressive (fear of losing what they have and fear of change).The racism isn’t the root cause of their bile, its a manifestation of their fear. If the Obamas were white they would be attacked just as hard but on different topics. That much of the attacks has a racist overtone to it is because the Obamas colour makes it possible.As a white guy i’ve been called whitey, but only by people taking the piss, never as a serious term (e.g. an asian friend jokingly complaining about being “oppressed by whitey” while getting his ass kicked by me on computer games).I live in the UK and i gotta tell ya, I desperately hope that Obama gets in. He has been a ray of light shining from the darkness of your government. Finally when we get a visit from your president we won’t have to look away awkwardly as he mangles our language and displays the kind of thinking and public speaking skills most teenagers have grown out of.Obama/Biden 08/12!

  21. Amen, brother Oli. As a Black American, I’m feeling a little disgusted myself by the racial overtones of the campaign. Whenever I see Joe The Plumber, charlatan par excellence being given free airtime to voice his dumb, redneck views, I want to lower my head in shame for this country. Michelle got chewed out for alluding to it, but I’ll say it without fear of reprisal. Sometimes I’m not proud of this country. I see racism coming out of the woodwork right now, from anchorwomen to ministers, from politicians to Average Joes. It’s so sad and depressing at times. However, I think America needs this, we have to see the harm that this cancer known as racism is doing to this country. Okay, I’m cool that I said my opinion. BTW, the word “Whitey” wasn’t used in my household and I wasn’t taught prejudice as a child, although I was exposed to it like everyone else living in our society, and I never let it seep into my soul. Peace and light always

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