Celebrity Sandwich With Cheese

A spoonful of celebrity helps the political debate go down!

For those who are veterans of Barack V. McCain II: The Battle of Belmont University, please enjoy my batch of mindlessness celebrity ogling — Beyonce, Kerry Washington, Lenny Kravitz, Nick and Mariah, Zoe Saldana, Tyler Perry and many, many more!

BEYONCE WITH BENEFITS

A toned down R&B diva Beyonce made an appearance at the International Pediatric Hall of Fame Children’s Hospital Foundation Diamond Ball and Concert. It’s always a little weird to see her with the unbeweaveable lace-front, but actually think she looks nice — like some trillionaire Middle Eastern royal’s wife.

Although, the Queen of Jordon wouldn’t rock such a low neckline. Everything else though? Spot on.

Also performing at the benefit: Smokey Robinson

And disco diva, Gloria Gaynor. Still surviving.

KERRY WASHINGTON, LENNY KRAVITZ GET FASHIONABLE IN PARIS

Kerry is very adorable here. Cindy McCain is looking at that outfit and wondering if it comes in a size zero. Of course, Cindy’s rather pale and this lovely light blue and white ensemble might wash her out, so she’ll be looking for it in Nancy Reagan red. I even like the odd collar ruffle on the jacket (even if it makes her look like a Star Fleet ensign). Although the almost nude lipstick with the smokey eye is not working for me. Other than that, she’s super pretty, pretty. Too bad, so sad her last film “Lakeview Terrence” was lacking in all kinds of ways.

Kerry and burlesque star Dita Von Tesse who is everything Rose McGowan wishes she was.

Lenny Kravitz, dressed like a rocker as always (he’s HUGE in Paris), wants to take a picture of …

YOU!

MAKE IT LAST FOREVER:
NICK CANNON AND MARIAH BUTTERFLY RAINBOW CAREY

Everyday is like Sears pictures with these people. Or Glamor Shots. Or Prom pictures. Either way, they’re posing and taking pictures.

ZOE SALDANA FOR EVIAN WATER

Hate the shoes. Hate the hair. Still love the Zoe. Her smile is a little pinched, but forgivable.

And finally, the motherload …

TYLER PERRY’S OPENING OF TYLER PERRY STUDIOS IN ATLANTA, GA

Will Smith flashes the peace sign, but where is Jada! Or the kids? And can you please talk your wife out of playing Michelle Obama in the possible biopic that we know will eventually come? That said, you look great. Maybe you can hook Tyler Perry up with some film tips … like, let his writer’s unionize and let real directors and writers make his Peyton Place visions sing.

That said, the black Hollywood community showed one of their most recent and biggest success
es oodles of love in Atlanta. Everyone from film royalty to D-list all-stars paid their respects.

“THEY CALL ME MR. TIBBS!” Sidney Poitier, theatrical royalty.

And now, Mr. Perry stands next to the royalty. In an all white suit. I wonder what Poitier and Perry talked about when they were together? “I loved you in Uptown Saturday Night! Hilarious!” And it was hilarious, Perry. Hilarious.

And now Perry stands next to I’m the next best thing to money on your movie bank, Will “Ching-Ching Goes the Registar” Smith.

“No, no. This is how we wear it Philly style. That’s money, right there, son.”

Allen Payne. He is the man I loved before I loved TJ Holmes. But as much as I love G Money (and Lord knows I do), I can’t bring myself to watch “House of Payne” on TBS.

It breaks my heart. He was in “The Perfect Storm,” “A Price Above Rubies,” “Jason’s Lyric,” “New Jack City,” and “CB4” as Dead Mike and he was sexy as hell.

Home run hitter, steroids aficionado Barry Bonds and his wife Liz.

People who would make slightly more sense as Michelle Obama in a film: Tasha Smith. What a statuesque glamazon. Love the flamenco inspired black gown. Heavy drama. That dress gives off mad drama. It would look really hot on Jill Marie Jones … who wasn’t at this event. I miss looking at her looking flawless in things so much.

Thank God I have Patti LaBelle. This looks like a number from Diahann Carroll’s “no. 1 black bitch” days on Dynasty. It’s taking me back … to fierce.

Patti, LA Reid and Erica Reid

Eva Pigford … OK, the ladies are killing this. Eva looks hot, although the dress reminds me a bit of something I’ve seen Halle Berry in before. Not that her date Lance Goss is hard on the eyes. Very nice.

Two people too good looking to be alive — Nicole Ari Parker and Boris Kodjoe. I love Nicole’s haircut. It’s a longer on the top, more punk version of Nicole Murphy’s hairdo. It’s tough, but sexy. I can’t quite figure out the dress, (the weird balloon/bunching, the black lace top) but it’s black and she’s standing next to Boris, so she looks great.

People who would make slightly more sense as Michelle Obama in a film: Kimberly Elise

The Sean “Diddy” Combs of gospel, Kirk Franklin and his wife.

Actress Jennifer Lewis

Singer John Legend looking very Frankie, Sammy, Dean and the other two guys.

The unsinkable Star Jones. The dress does nothing for her and she could really use the support of a nice bra. Hate, hate, hate this flamenco ruffle at the bottom. It brings none of the drama Tasha Smith’s did. And the weave? Not feeling it. Maybe she should call up Beyonce or Jessica Simpson and get some lacefront tips.

Malik Yoba. He will remain forever in my heart for New York Undercover. It amazes me he never landed on any of the million police procedural shows on network and cable TV.

Lynn Whitfield goes for the drama too, but I’m hating all of it. But I won’t hold it against her.

Civil Rights icon and Congressman John Lewis represented his state and the guy who is pumping money into it view opening this studio.

Gladys Knight and hubby, William McDowell.

Terri J. Vaughn takes Star’s botched flamenco and raises her one scaled fish tail.

God, I haven’t seen this guy in anything since that horrible live action version of Spawn. Michael Jai White (who also played a mean Iron Mike in an HBO picture eons ago). He’s pictured here his wife Courtney. If he’d been a stronger actor, or if Spawn had been successful or if Wesley Snipes had crashed and burned in the mid-90s, the athletic, martial artist White might have had a better career. Wait? Was that him in The Dark Knight as the black gangster? That’s still a career of sorts! It’s no Blade, but Wesley won’t be getting anything as good as Blade for a long time.

The unsinkable Tracey Edmonds. So pretty yet I still don’t like her.

An adorable Holly Robinson Peete (with a giant rose boob and wearing dark blue and NOT black like everyone else) with her mother, Dolores Robinson. OMG! Her mom and my mom have almost the same name! And how cute is it to bring your mother to the big fancy party? Mommy’s like to party too!

Ruby Dee. Eighty-three-years-old and still more fierce than any of us on our best day. I bow down.

I’m not familiar with this woman (Denise Laughton) or her work, but I really liked the layered look of her curve flattering dress.

Wesley Jonathon. Before his doppelganger married Mariah Carey, I used to get Jonathon confused with Nick Cannon in pictures. Jonathon is hotter than Cannon, but they have similar smiles.

Solid as a rock! Valerie Simpson and Nick Ashford. They were never fly, so I didn’t expect them to be as hot as Ruby Dee. Nor did I expect Nick to give up the perm. But they’ve been together for decades and black love is beautiful, so rock on tacky songwriters! You’ve given us and lovers so much through your line of work.

Wanda Smith? No. I realize you’re a comic, but … no. I called both Star Jones and Tracey Edmonds “unsinkable,” but in this get up you truly look like the original Unsinkable Molly Brown, aka Margaret Brown, a brassy aristocrat who survived the sinking of the Titanic, has a musical named for her and was played by Kathy Bates in the film version of the disaster.

Molly Brown is all, “Is that Madame CJ Walker?”

10 thoughts on “Celebrity Sandwich With Cheese

  1. i love seeing so many black folks looking great and in support of tyler perry and the opening of his studio…do your thing tyler…i saw in one the celebrity shows that tyler had female companion with him and he said she was a very special person…and that’s all i going to say about that…it’s too many folks to make comment on, so i’ll just ask this one question: what does star jones have against wearing a bra?that is all…

  2. You are hilarious and thanks for the break from the political d-r-a-m-a that is election ’08.PS-when I was in 7th grade I did a report on Madame CJ Walker and composed a song for my class on her life to the tune of ‘All Cried Out’ by Lisa Lisa. If Wanda Smith had been around then I would have asked her to come in and perform it.

  3. We’ve come a long way, Negroes. I remember when the only black celebrities we had were Sammy Davis Jr., Portier, Pam Grier and a few others. Seeing all these beautiful and glamorous black people in show biz today proves that we’ve made significant progress. I just love Kerry Washington’s gorgeous bee-stung lips. What I wouldn’t give to have her–at least for one night. Lynn Whitfield is a still hot mama, but with the weight gain, she’s starting to look more like the latter.

  4. BTW, Snob, I see you have a thing for little guys (e.g., Allen Payne and TJ). It must be your maternal instincts kicking in. Payne was actually very good in “Perfect Storm” and other roles. Too bad he’s now a TV ho (puto) too.

  5. I love Nicole Ari Parker’s haircut. I worked on the movie LOVE AND BASKETBALL. It was Boris’s first acting role. He has a brother and it was a trip to see them together speaking German (Boris’s first language). His brother is very attractive as well. Kerry Washington is working that outfit.I thought Payne was great in PERFECT STORM. Not sure what happened to his career.

  6. You had me cracking up with this post!Can we just put Tyler and Kirk in the questionable box? Beyonce looks so much better with less. Esp with less hair!I like Kerry's outfit and I agree she needed a darker lip. And what did Rose McGowan do to piss you off? Ha Ha! I can't believe Dita & Rose were both with Marilyn Manson – yuck! I will never understand Nick & Mariah but then again I don't have to!Loved Tasha's dress and Zoe's shoes.I met Lenny Kravitz once. He's quite tall and really skinny. He also wasn't exactly cordial so I wish he'd stayed in fantasy land.Boris is one of the most beautiful men I've ever seen in my life. Nicole must have high esteem to be married to him. I wouldn't let him leave the house – ever. Thanks for the post it was fun!

  7. @ faith,You met Lenny? WOW. I *heart* Lenny. I would stan for Lenny, but I’d heard he wasn’t as ‘nice’, so I’ll keep him in fantasyland too.Everybody looks great. I read on another site that Beyonce will be starring as Eartha Kitt in an upcoming biopic. Congrats to her. Next up, the Black Mona Lisa, Cleopatra, maybe even Madame C.J. Walker! LOL.

  8. Yay for black folks jumping clean! Why is it always one or two black folks who refuse to follow the theme? (Here’s looking at you Holly and Tracy) It’s not always appropriate to look “different”.The old heads “showed up and showed out” as my divo friend would say.Best Dressed: Tie between Eva Pigford and Nicole Ari Parker. Worst: Jennifer Lewis. I loves me some her but we can take that dress and shawl back to Burlington Coat factory and try harder next time.

  9. I have a Lenny Kravitz story too. When I was in the hospital last year, my sister was at his concert and while Lenny’s band was performing on stage, she handed her cell phone to his guitarist and he chatted with me and wished me well. I thought that was so cool. It’s six degrees of separation afterall.

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