I’ve regularly posted befuddlement at The Retro Kids wondering what they did for a living (besides go to NYC parties) and if their high top fades and braided gold chains were meant as a homage to the Hip Hop style that existed before the industry started pumping millions into the Rap Industrial Complex. Or if they were making fun of folks of my generation (teens and preteens of the late 80s through the 1990s).
Where they making fun of The Snob and my long hair, fully curly and crunchy to the side (with a banana clip — of course, circa 1990, wearing a vertical stripped dress* to my sixth grade banquet where I was one of the two keynote speakers. Where I unveiled my hard earned dancing skills (I practiced in the basement for weeks with my more agile little sister, Deidre the Baby Snob, who went on to be a theater and dance major.) There at the banquet I busted a mean Roger Rabbit to some Bobby Brown after the award’s dinner at Hazelwood East High School. Because I can’t tell if the Retro Kids are making fun of that. That night was not funny to me.
Since kindergarten I’d been teased mercilessly for being different. By sixth grade everyone had calmed down and accepted me for who I was. I’d sat on my “cute” pair of glasses the night before the banquet and rather that wear my old hideous pink/purple plastic old lady specs from the fourth grade I went to the thing blind and specs-less. To my shock, everyone responded to me like I was the hottest chick in the room. I was “that girl” from the cheesy movies where you take off the glasses (and develop somewhat of a figure) and suddenly I was hot. That begot four years of bitching to my mom to get me contact lenses. So that night of 90s tackiness is a night of wonderfulness for me. Don’t mock it, Retro Kids. Other than that — Rock on. (From kanYe West Blog, via reader Whitty)
*I have got to dig up that picture. I swear to God. I was the hottest 12 year old in the game that night. I wouldn’t feel that way again until college in my sorority days. (Left: My seventh grade ID from the former Kirby Junior High School in St. Louis County. Check them bangs. I was the hotness and no one even knew it.)
Also, scary. I can still do all those dances in the video. I made Baby Snob teach me all of them. Baby Snob has crazy skills. She had the Janet Jackson “If” video dance down pat. It was incredible, but she’s always been awesome in that way. She’s the official “Hot Chick” of the Snob sisters.