Slate’s Tom Perrotta Beats Me to the Chase: Palin As Puritan Sex Goddess

I had a length conversation with reader Dorothy last night about Sarah Palin. She was infuriated by Palin fulfilling the prophecy of myself and many political experts — that the McCain campaign would find a way to rear the head of William Ayrers. This time it came through the mouth of their Cheerleader-in-Chief, Sarah Barracuda.

I told her that Palin was the embodiment of the sexual desires of conservative men in search and described her as such.

(S)he’s the perfect person to do (attack Obama). She’s the Punky Brewster of the Republican Party. The love child of Ann Coulter and (George W. Bush) … But they’re all so in love and proud of her and wanting to fuck her. It’s by far the sickest thing I’ve ever seen. It’s horrifying. She’s the Britney Spears (circa 1999) of the Republican Party. Back when she did The Rolling Stone cover in her PJ’s and undies and said she was virgin.

And on Sept. 26, Tom Perrotta of wrote this:

Caribou hunting aside, Sarah Palin represents the state-of-the-art version of a particular type of woman—let’s call her the Sexy Puritan—that’s become a familiar and potent figure in the culture war in recent years.

Sexy Puritans have been around for a while. Anita Bryant, the Miss America runner-up turned anti-gay crusader in the 1970s, was an early exemplar of the trend. The young Britney Spears, provocatively dressed and loudly proclaiming her virginity, is a more modern version, though that didn’t turn out so well. Elisabeth Hasselbeck, the most conservative member of The View, has a bit of the Sexy Puritan about her, as does Monica Goodling, the former aide to Attorney General Alberto Gonzales who admitted to engaging in improperly political hiring practices, including the dismissal of a career prosecutor Goodling believed to be a lesbian.

I continued to write to Dorothy:

I get sick of the small town vs. big city. When they first (introduced Spears) that’s what they played on. That she was this “good” girl from a small town who didn’t know she was hot who had a corny accent, but danced with a stripper’s pole. That’s where Palin is. And what he said is part of Palin’s 90s Britney Spears allure.

She’s a whore and a virgin. A virgin/whore. The unicorn of the patriarchy — a woman who doesn’t complain and puts out and does whatever you want her to do. It doesn’t matter that even Palin doesn’t cosign onto that shit. But some menfolks need the dream.

(A)fter watching Pat Buchanan, ordinarily a hateful bastard to everyone, go in lust/love over her and discount the fact that she was woefully unprepared or that “good enough” isn’t good enough for the (vice) presidency, he just was like, “Fuck that shit! I got me a unicorn!”

She’s someone they can point to when yelling at other women.

“See? She has five kids, stays hot and is governor! Why do you have to bitch about me (not helping to raise) my own kids? I want my woman to bring home the bacon, fry it in a pan and never let me forget who has the penis!”

But I’m not alone in this assertion. My friend, author Cintra Wilson was lambasted for making the same claim in

Like many people, I thought, “Damn, a hyperconservative, fuckable, Type A, antiabortion, Christian Stepford wife in a ‘sexy librarian’ costume — as a vice president? That’s a brilliant stroke of horrifyingly cynical pandering to the Christian right. Karl Rove must be behind it.”

It is a kind of eerie coincidence that Sarah Palin is being sprung on the public at the same time as the bimbo/frat-boy titty comedy “House Bunny,” which features a poster of a beautiful young lady with Playmate-style bunny ears, big, stupid eyes and her mouth hanging open like someone just punched her.

Sarah Palin is the White House bunny — the most nauseating novelty confection of the evangelical mind-set since Southern “chastity balls,” wherein teen girls pledge abstinence from premarital sex by ceremonially faux-marrying their own fathers.

I’m not alone, in thinking that part of fervor is over the fever of the mythology of the Madonna/mother/whore psychology. Conservative pundits focus on her razzle dazzle and her camera-ready looks, but not on the fact that she was only able to recite talking points and defend herself. But you have to play make believer that Palin is about substance, otherwise you have to acknowledge that her selection was about sexing up McCain’s saggy ticket. That she as a winky diversion to McCain’s wrinkly politicking. Many aren’t willing to admit that like Buchanan, most rather bask in the lust, dreaming of Palin, conservative Dominatrix-in-Chief 2012.

15 thoughts on “Slate’s Tom Perrotta Beats Me to the Chase: Palin As Puritan Sex Goddess

  1. Spot. On.An aside… I work in radio, and one of the producers noted that everyone who *listened* to the debate was exponentially more horrified than people who watched it on television. So the GOP knows *exactly* what it’s doing.

  2. The whole MILF thing makes me ill. It’s also appealing to the lowest common denominator in human nature.And am I the only one who notices that Palin NEVER refers to Obama as “Senator” Obama? It’s always “Barack”. That’s a time honored racial insult to adult Black men by refusing to afford them simple courteous address. The subtle (and not so subtle) race baiting by the Republican party is disgraceful. And anyone who thinks it’s not there is deluding themselves.

  3. Well, the Repubs can have their wet dream in the form of Sarah Palin. I personally don’t like to be teased in this manner like many men. That’s why you won’t see me in a titty bar. I want action. I don’t want a woman shaking her moneymaker at me without putting out. Some men get off on this strip tease and I don’t know why. To me, it’s like being on a diet and someone is waving a bowl of Beyer’s chocolate ice cream in my face. I know Buchanan has the hots for his “gal,” but Palin isn’t a MILF I want to “F.” Of course, I’m not immune to the wiles of evil conservative women. I would love to have angry sex with Nancy Ptotenhauser, Carly Fiorina, Ann Coulter and a few others because I believe, for some reason, these woman are secretly repressed in one way or another, and it’s up to me to cure them. Although I agree that GOP men have a hard-on for Palin, she definitely turns off liberals like myself. Being an opportunist, though, I would never turn down a free meal. If Palin dropped into my bed, I would show her no mercy. However, even in my sickest fantasies, she’s not there. After I passed by puberty, I did whack off to pictures of Anita Bryant since you brought her up. There’s was something about that religious crusading woman that turned me on in a bad way. I, too, was religious at the time. I guess we’re all sick to a degree.

  4. the repubs are fine to whore out one their own even if she’s dangerously unqualified because she looks like a milf…what am i missing? i guess some of us really really do think with their dicks…sexy…not…

  5. Wow, Snob, you pretty summed up what I heard a conversative radio host say the other day. She’s selling fantasy for a lot of her supporters.One minor correction, that Spears’ Rolling Stone cover was from 1999. Spears didn’t even have a record contract, let alone magazine cover, in 1996. She was just a 16 year old Louisiana bumpkin then. Three years from superstardom and of course years away from self-descruction.

  6. midwesterntransport: The painting is “Mary Magdalene in the Cave,” by Jules Joseph Lefebvre from 1876. You know? Back when the Catholic Church branded her as a whore (even thought the Bible doesn’t mention it) to discount her role in the crucifixion, ergo, to discount the notion of women as disciples, ergo, priests, even though, if you study the Bible, in the end, it was Mary M who was ultimately “ride or die” for Jesus. And I care about these things because two of my closest friends are A) an Anglican priest or B) studying to be an Anglican priest.

  7. Draven7, all I can say is Mucho T.M.I. Now excuse me while I wash the imagine out of my brain of you spilling seed to Anita Bryant photos and wanting to do the dirty-dirty with Ann Coulter. LMAO! :)This is why Palin is doing better in the polls among men than women. She’s the naughty librarian/repressed businesswoman/hottie housewife/goody-goody cheerleader men have always fantasied about. A living blow-up fuckdoll for the GOP. How many of these voters want her as their Commander-in-Wet Dream? Will Palin be borrowing Condi’s dominatrix boots for her next rally?Damn! When women were fighting for the right to vote eighty years ago, an argument against was women were too emotionally unstable to vote. Nice to know men can vote with calmer “heads”.Disclaimer – this post was not meant to be a general man-bash. Some of my best friends are men.Bourgietopia Because “elitist” is the new “uppity”

  8. Bourgietopia, my comments were was TMI, but when I’m on a stream of consciousness roll, don’t stop me or I may run over you. BTW, the entire time I was thinking you were a guy. Would it be too much trouble, folks, to use a screenname that’s more gender-specific? Is it also too much ask that you select a name rather than going by “anonymous?” And most of my friends have always been women, Bourgietopia.

  9. Danielle I’m so glad you mention Magdalene as truly divine and a prophet. I know the translations of the Bible have been slanted by men to reduce and discount the role of women. After all isn’t it usually women that make up the majority congregations and financial benefactors? Jesus rewarded her for her faithfulness by appearing to her first instead of the men who deserted him. And Palin is definitely an effective tool for use by the Republicans on so many levels. A lot of people don’t even get how much they’re being manipulated even when we think we’re thinking critically.

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