I had a length conversation with reader Dorothy last night about Sarah Palin. She was infuriated by Palin fulfilling the prophecy of myself and many political experts — that the McCain campaign would find a way to rear the head of William Ayrers. This time it came through the mouth of their Cheerleader-in-Chief, Sarah Barracuda.
I told her that Palin was the embodiment of the sexual desires of conservative men in search and described her as such.
(S)he’s the perfect person to do (attack Obama). She’s the Punky Brewster of the Republican Party. The love child of Ann Coulter and (George W. Bush) … But they’re all so in love and proud of her and wanting to fuck her. It’s by far the sickest thing I’ve ever seen. It’s horrifying. She’s the Britney Spears (circa 1999) of the Republican Party. Back when she did The Rolling Stone cover in her PJ’s and undies and said she was virgin.
And on Sept. 26, Tom Perrotta of Slate.com wrote this:
Caribou hunting aside, Sarah Palin represents the state-of-the-art version of a particular type of woman—let’s call her the Sexy Puritan—that’s become a familiar and potent figure in the culture war in recent years.
Sexy Puritans have been around for a while. Anita Bryant, the Miss America runner-up turned anti-gay crusader in the 1970s, was an early exemplar of the trend. The young Britney Spears, provocatively dressed and loudly proclaiming her virginity, is a more modern version, though that didn’t turn out so well. Elisabeth Hasselbeck, the most conservative member of The View, has a bit of the Sexy Puritan about her, as does Monica Goodling, the former aide to Attorney General Alberto Gonzales who admitted to engaging in improperly political hiring practices, including the dismissal of a career prosecutor Goodling believed to be a lesbian.
I continued to write to Dorothy:
I get sick of the small town vs. big city. When they first (introduced Spears) that’s what they played on. That she was this “good” girl from a small town who didn’t know she was hot who had a corny accent, but danced with a stripper’s pole. That’s where Palin is. And what he said is part of Palin’s 90s Britney Spears allure.
She’s a whore and a virgin. A virgin/whore. The unicorn of the patriarchy — a woman who doesn’t complain and puts out and does whatever you want her to do. It doesn’t matter that even Palin doesn’t cosign onto that shit. But some menfolks need the dream.
(A)fter watching Pat Buchanan, ordinarily a hateful bastard to everyone, go in lust/love over her and discount the fact that she was woefully unprepared or that “good enough” isn’t good enough for the (vice) presidency, he just was like, “Fuck that shit! I got me a unicorn!”
She’s someone they can point to when yelling at other women.
“See? She has five kids, stays hot and is governor! Why do you have to bitch about me (not helping to raise) my own kids? I want my woman to bring home the bacon, fry it in a pan and never let me forget who has the penis!”
Like many people, I thought, “Damn, a hyperconservative, fuckable, Type A, antiabortion, Christian Stepford wife in a ‘sexy librarian’ costume — as a vice president? That’s a brilliant stroke of horrifyingly cynical pandering to the Christian right. Karl Rove must be behind it.”
It is a kind of eerie coincidence that Sarah Palin is being sprung on the public at the same time as the bimbo/frat-boy titty comedy “House Bunny,” which features a poster of a beautiful young lady with Playmate-style bunny ears, big, stupid eyes and her mouth hanging open like someone just punched her.
Sarah Palin is the White House bunny — the most nauseating novelty confection of the evangelical mind-set since Southern “chastity balls,” wherein teen girls pledge abstinence from premarital sex by ceremonially faux-marrying their own fathers.
I’m not alone, in thinking that part of fervor is over the fever of the mythology of the Madonna/mother/whore psychology. Conservative pundits focus on her razzle dazzle and her camera-ready looks, but not on the fact that she was only able to recite talking points and defend herself. But you have to play make believer that Palin is about substance, otherwise you have to acknowledge that her selection was about sexing up McCain’s saggy ticket. That she as a winky diversion to McCain’s wrinkly politicking. Many aren’t willing to admit that like Buchanan, most rather bask in the lust, dreaming of Palin, conservative Dominatrix-in-Chief 2012.