Oh, thank heavens. The poll numbers went back to normal.
Obama is up by four in three national polls (Quinnipiac, Gallup and Hotline/FD Tracking) and up by five in the new CBS News/New York Times Poll.
He and John McCain are tied in Rassmusen, Pew and Newsweek’s polls.
This means the past two weeks were more like two weeks in topsy-turvy world, the only place where choosing Sarah Palin for veep makes sense. Now that everyone has come down from their pure Alaskan cocaine highs they can sober up and see that someone’s been up at the craps table until 4 a.m. again, in deep with the house, and praying for a miracle to come along, blow on his dice and make him president!
Then America woke up to find some strange, but friendly woman in her living room talking about how she knows all about Russia because they’re “neighbors” up there in Alaska. And she’s got her five kids with her and people keep saying the word “MILF,” and America wondered aloud, “Oh? Is this that new reality show on the Discovery Channel? ‘Hockey Mom Ice Truckers?'”
And then McCain, after lying to America for two weeks, tells her that this isn’t another episode of “Hockey Mom Ice Truckers.” That she really is his running mate and could be vice president, or worse, president someday.
And then America noticed all her accounts were overdrawn and that the casino had taken the house.
At high risk of mixing my metaphors — John McCain has gone from being America’s Dark Knight to Two-Face, and not Aaron Eckhart’s brilliant “Two-Face” Harvey Dent in “The Dark Knight,” but Tommy Lee Jones’ shitty “Two-Face” Harvey Dent in “Batman Forever.”
Drunk, gambling old guy at the casino or old guy overacting in the second-to-worst 90s era Batman film — I give you two sides of the John McCain I see. Let me know which one works for you.
In other news, more than 75 percent of us think the country is still on the wrong track. (It’s at 81 percent in the CBS poll.) Glad we can all almost agree on something.