One of my favorite baby-faced actors, Matt Damon, aka the guy from “The Bourne Identity,” “The Talented Mr. Ripley” and that overrated film he and Ben Affleck won an Oscar for, has finally said what we’ve been thinking in Palin Haters Anonymous, aka the “Sick of Sarah Palin Club (No Palins Allowed!)“
WTF? Seriously. How could this happen? And people are acting like she’s plausible. What? Am I in an alternate universe?
“It’s like a really bad Disney movie, “The Hockey Mom.’ Oh, I’m just a hockey mom from Alaska, and she’s president,” said Damon. “She’s facing down Vladimir Putin and using the folksy stuff she learned at the hockey rink. It’s absurd.”
Absurd, indeed! Welcome to the club, Matt. Pull up a chair. Snob reader’s say hello to our newest member!
Damon: Hello, I’m Matt Damon, and I’m like, what the fuck is up with this Sarah Palin woman?
Everyone: Hello, Matt!
The Republicans complained that this was some “name-calling” by Obama’s “Hollywood Elite” friends. (What? Calling a “Creationist” a Creationist is name-calling?) But that’s just them making sour patch faces because outside of The Rock and Ah-nuld the Governator, most Republican celebrities are lame. I mean, Angie Harmon, Fred Thompson and Elisabeth Hasselbeck? That’s not exactly as sparkly as Oprah Winfrey, Jessica Alba, Scarlett Johansson, Brad Pitt, Stevie Wonder and The Clooney.
And that’s the short list. We get all the cool kids. It goes on and on.
Alec Baldwin, Hill Harper, Halle Berry, Sharon Stone, Robert De Niro, Tom Hanks, Will Smith, Stephen Spielberg. It’s friggin’ everyone, man. Everyone worth paying a ticket to see. (Except maybe Alba. Well, she’s hot. I guess you could just pay to see that.)
*Thanks to the many readers who brought this story to my attention! Good job!