Doomed Romance: Mr. Wrong

This story is a part of The Black Snob’s two-week series, “Doomed Romance,” tales of love lost and love gone wrong. For more click here.

They say everything that feels good to you isn’t good for you. That was the lesson learned by this Doomed Romance contributor. She fell in love with a man who was great in the bedroom, but horrible everywhere else. But she was fortunate, she learned her lesson and found a new outlook on romance.


I have a list that I wrote one day after a terrible break up that went something like this:

Argument … more arguing … make up sex … more weeks of arguing … the inevitable break-up initiated by me … a few days later a call from a co-worker telling me how she’d been screwing my ex for a few weeks … said co-worker is known as a drunken whore … devastation … anger … death threats to him because of my concern he might have infected me with something that I couldn’t wash off … embarrassment as I sit in the gynecologist office explaining that I need to be tested for everything under the sun because I’d been cheated on … fear … more anger … waiting … many tears … the phone call that I’m perfectly healthy … joy … and finally the strength to move on.

Everything happens for a reason.

I was able to gain some clarity that I hadn’t bothered to have before. I sat my hurt and embarrassed self down and made a list of the type of man I genuinely wanted in my life. As I finished that list it was plain and obvious that I’d played my own self like boo-boo-the-fool because I’d let someone in my life that wasn’t more than a cute face, a nice ass and a great lay.

He wasn’t even half of my list. Don’t get me wrong, he was a very nice guy, but I ignored the fact that he had issues. I should have believed him every single time he told me that he wasn’t good enough for me and that I deserved better.

Here I was, an educated woman, working two jobs, living and loving life, yet dealing with and loving a loser. We really didn’t have very much in common. We fundamentally disagreed on everything other than eating, sleeping, and fucking. No, I don’t have low self-esteem, nor am I needy. I love who I am and love my life. I am a very blessed person. But, at the end of the day I pretty much let myself get dick-merized for a whole six months.

I didn’t get anything out of that relationship but some good sex, a whole bunch of headaches, and a big ass doctor’s bill because my insurance doesn’t cover testing without symptoms. All of which I could’ve easily avoided via a little imagination and a pack of AA batteries..

A few months after that experience, I ran into a guy I’d known for a couple of years through a mutual friend. He was handsome, but I’d never looked at him twice. He wasn’t really my “type” and I knew a bit about his past that I wasn’t too thrilled about. After a few long, but great phone conversations, we ended up hanging out one evening purely as friends. I have been head over heels in love with him ever since. He measures up to about 90 percent of my list, and I wouldn’t take that plus the other 10 percent from any other man if someone paid me to take it. If it hadn’t been for me freely loving a loser, I might not appreciate the amazing love and man that I have now.

9 thoughts on “Doomed Romance: Mr. Wrong

  1. Every woman has got to go through those trials and tribulations of kissing frogs until she finds a prince. I don’t know anyone on God’s green earth who met their high school sweetheart and lived happily ever after cause that’s not real.The truth of the matter is that love is not a fairy-tale. Love is commitment, sacrifice, loyalty, honesty, living in truth, and having faith in the evidence of things not seen.

  2. Oh, Snob, this story in particular breaks my heart. I had a terrible Mr Wrong experience, and it took a long time before i could go a day without thinking about him. But now, i think and i LAUGH.

  3. Everyone has had a Mr. Wrong. It’s one of those experiences we need to grow, learn and move on from! Best wishes with your new “boo”! lol 🙂

  4. As a doctor, I wish that people understood that you can’t be tested for everything. With our current level of screening tests, you could still have infection with HSV or HPV and neither you nor your doctor would know it.Too many people mistakenly believe that getting checked means they have nothing. It only means that you don’t have what they tested you for. There is no routine screening test for HPV or HSV infection. (The HPV DNA test is not a screening test, but a test done for a Pap abnormality).If I had a dollar for every time I explained this to my teen patients…

  5. awww, thats a sweet story. would you care to share the contents of your list? as to anonymous…i know one couple that have been together since 11th grade (they are mid-thirties now) with no cheating or anything like that. just the one, though! everybody else is on their second marriages

  6. Do you think it’s as simple as the sex? I think it’s an issue of low self esteem…whether consciously or unconsciously. I think if sex is all it takes to “buy” your time so-to-speak, there must be something about yourself that you don’t value. (I include myself in this because I’m currently going thru this.)

  7. @anonNaw. It’s the sex. Got nothing ot do with low self-esteem. Good Dick will make you “forget” a lot of things. This is why sleeping with someone early (if you’re looking 4 a relationship) can be bad. Good dic makse a lot of problems. The key is to figure out the problems before you get naked.

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