Detroit’s Thug Mayor Finally Steps Down

Detroit, your long local nightmare is over. Kwame “Lady Killer” Kilpatrick has come to his senses:

DETROIT – Mayor Kwame Kilpatrick pleaded guilty to felony charges Thursday in a sex-and-misconduct scandal and will step down after months of defiantly holding onto his job leading the nation’s 11th-largest city. He was ordered jailed for four months and fined $1 million.

The plea deal brings to an end a seven-months-long ordeal that led to felony charges against Kilpatrick and plunged the city, region and state into political chaos.

As part of the deal, the 38-year-old Democrat is to serve four months in jail and five years of probation. He would pay the $1 million in restitution over the five-year probationary period.

Wayne County Circuit Court Judge David Groner asked Kilpatrick if the mayor understood he was giving up the right to be innocent until proven guilty.

“I gave that up a long time ago,” Kilpatrick replied.

I thought this day would never come.

I haven’t hid my disgust for Kwame Kilpatrick. Mostly because he’s crooked and a jerk and his mistress was the one who got fired while he pranced around in his SUVs and expensive suits, appearing on TV with his wife apologizing for being crooked. Hiding behind his mama, who defended him and almost lost her seat in Congress for it.

But fear not crooked politician fans, as my play cousin AverageBro has described, Republican Vice Presidential Nominee Sarah “Barracuda” Palin possesses her own Kilpatrick-style strong arm policies. While Kwame tried to fire the cop investigating him, revealing those porno text messages I hope to never hear another reporter read out loud again, Palin is under investigation for firing the public safety official who wouldn’t fire her brother-in-law. Sarah’s living that “Thug Life,” as evident in her speech Wednesday night where she tried to put the smack down on Barack Obama without really explaining why she was the right woman for the job.

Who cares! She’s thug! That’s all that matters! MC Rove nods in agreement. At least with her I can enjoy the thuggery and laugh at it, rather than cringe through Kilpatrick’s Suge Knight impressions.

Oh, happy day!

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