More Belated (Random) Celebrity Snapshots

So many pictures, so little time. Right, Ashanti? Because I was slackin’ and suffering from brain drain last weekend I didn’t get my celebrity photo spread up. Tsk. Tsk. Guess I’ll just have to sprinkle it about throughout this week. While Tuesday’s spread featured a lavender affair in the Hamptons, todays is a poo poo platter of randomness. A little Dennis Rodman here and a little J. Lo there. Something for everyone! Get a taste!

Girl, I just don’t know what is going on here. WireImage said on July 22nd, Ashanti was pushing something at an event called “The Island Next Door.” A little Googling revealed she was bidding “Aloha” to winners of a Nassau County Tourism vacation. Nice. While it looks like she jacked some fantabulous lace-front wig action, I don’t like the grape Kool-Aid nail polish. Other than that, she looks happy to be picking up a check. What a world. You show up. Make a few faces. Take a few pictures and … Money, please!

Oh, Mimi! It would be too much to ask Mariah Carey to dress her chronological age, but I guess you’re only as old as you feel (or market) and Mariah is a spry, midriff-baring 22 years of age. With rainbows and unicorns and butterflies and such. Her life is like a Candyland game board where everyday she’s walking down “Gum Drop Lane.”

This picture was taken July 22nd at MTV’s TRL studio. She reminds me of preteens who dress like junior hookers because they think that’s what supermodels look like. You know? A little Daisy Duke meets Julia Roberts in “Pretty Woman” at a Build-A-Bear Workshop? Or one of those Sanrio stores. Or Claire’s. Is there a rich folk version of Claire’s?

And I know she’s had this look for a long time now, but I still really, really, really hate Mimi with blonde hair. I truly wish she’d reconsider something closer to the hair color of her birth, or at least the hair color of ten years ago when she was still a ringlet rocking brunette.

A lil’ J. Lo in the world’s fugliest, shapeless, muumuu. The contrasting block pattern (which exudes a bit of a tribal vibe) looks horrid, like something I could pick up at one of those black bookstore/gift shop/African boutique/knick-knack/wig shack huts found wherever communities of Negroes congregate. Like would cost about $80 and would hang next to the dashikis and mud cloth print tops n’ bottoms, on the rack near the strawberry incense, giant posters of Malcolm X holding a gun while looking out a window and Tupac/Biggie memorial T-shirts.

And all the wigs there are made out of 100 percent human hair!

I don’t know what’s going on with this, as Jennifer Lopez and Skeletor hubby, Marc Anthony visit the set of theatrical production “In the Heights” July 24, Jen’s birthday. (The second shot features Lopez and Anthony with actor Lin-Manuel Miranda.) And like with Mariah, I am sick of olive complexioned brown people with blonde hair. You look ridiculous. Very few light brown people can make this look work and like Mariah, Jennifer is not one of them.

Mr. Baby Wipes is on the cover of Philadelphia Style! How stylish for Terrence Howard, even though he clearly needs a haircut in these photographs. A lil’ shape up for that natural. But it’s cool, Senor Baby Wipes, esta frio! Rock that Philly stilo!

Dennis Rodman. Still alive and attending Ed Hardy swimwear fashion shows. Below he is pictured with designers Christian Audigier and Richie Rich. The event took place in Miami July 18th. So what do you think his breath smells like? I’m guessing Mojitos, chili cheese Fritos and Red Bull.

NBC TV news guy and ex-NFL baller Tiki Barber is pictured here at the opening of Brother Jimmy’s on Murray Hill, July 24. I’m assuming the smiling woman was his date since WireImage’s lazy ass did not bother to catch her name. He’s with his wife Ginny Cha. I wanted to shout, “Woman! Git yo’ hands off my man!” but I resisted, because I had to know specifically which woman I needed to tell to get their hands off my man that is her man. Bummer!

And now let’s play, “Who Looks A Hot Mess!”

Today’s contestants include rapper Fabolous, habitual partier/resident tipsy girl actress Gabrielle Union, former Top Model contestant Toccara or rapstress/”What does she do again? Trina, all appearing at the “Miami Stand Up” event July 20.

Fabolous looks the way he always looks, dressed in generic rapper mode. The half-cocked hat, the comical 80s shades, the bit o’ bling hither and tither. Nothing to shout about. Gabby, with a smile that says “I’m ready to drink for free,” looks pretty, as always, and is dressed in black, as always. Once again, nothing to see here. Toccara, a beautiful woman did not take a beautiful picture here. The dress looks like it came from 1991, the hair is indescribable and the look on the face, not sexy. Jay Manuel would not approve. But our winner is Trina who has consistently looked a hot mess from several years in the running.

I don’t know what Trina does (other than look a hot mess and take the world’s most unsexy pictures). I’ve heard she’s a singer or rapper or performer of some type. I could say something really obvious and lazy like … she looks like a bad drag queen that RuPaul would write a diss track about. Or “a shirt is not a dress.” Or she has thighs so big Popeye’s is threatening to fry them up and serve them to the Reverend Al Sharpton.

No. I’m just going to say that if you put some pants on her she looked like a back up singer for Ashford & Simpson around the time they did “Solid.” That she would be the one in the back with a ton of make up on so she’d look decent on the tee-vee as they performed on Solid Gold.

And she looks “A Hot Mess!” Congratulations, Trina!

It’s a wax Tyra Banks, unveiled at Madam Tussands’ July 24.

Samuel Jackson, Takashi Okazaki and The RZA prompting “Afro Samurai” at Comic-Con in San Diego, July 24.

Star Trek pioneers George Takei and Nichelle Nichols share an embrace and a kiss during the closing night of Outfest in Los Angeles, July 21.

Nichelle looks gorgeous and George is beaming. After all, dude finally got married in Cali, after the courts struck down a law barring gays for marrying. So George boldly went … ahem … where no gay had gone before (legally in California). Enjoy the wedded life, George.

19 thoughts on “More Belated (Random) Celebrity Snapshots

  1. Wow. Ashanti looks bananas! LOL. She looks nice.Mariah Carey. PLEASE STOP IT with the tie-dyed, denim mini-skirt. Horible!I actually like JLos mumu. Looks comfy. LOL.Terence. *looks for my afro pick* LOL.Dennis, no comment. Tiki, I think he’s a cutie. Fabolous, there’s something dead sexy about him and that chipped tooth of his. LOLTrina’s wig is DEVASTATING. Why won’t someone tell her? Gabby and Toccara..meh; nothing spectacular. The event must’ve been casual. These shots are bad; flash not bright enough. Trina looks like she has two black eyes.Tyra in wax. Ahhh, the lacefront rules all!Sam Jackson/Afro Samurai…I’m going to have to get into this at some point. Maybe if I ever get cable again I’ll watch.Takei seeks to suck the life out of Nichelle. I wonder if she’ll be back for Season 3 of “Heroes”??? You know that show gets more ‘pale’ every season.

  2. I don't care for Ashanti's make up. There's something "off" about it. The dress looked nice.Oh Mariah. That is all.Gabby & Toccara you both can do better. Miss Trina. I am not surprised.Same ole from Dennis. I heard a few cuts from "Baby Wipes" new joint over at Soulbounce. I remain unimpressed by his voice.Nichelle and George…Live Long & Prosper. Nichelle looks lovely.

  3. Thanks, mean rose. I will change the page to reflect this Ginny Cha “wife” situation. I don’t know how he get married without MY permission, but oh well … I suppose I now have to get my hands of HER man!

  4. I’m 22. Even if I wasnt all big and stuff, I still wouldnt wear that outfit. I blame Sex and The City for making grown women think its okay. Rock your mini with style girl.Yea that is Tiki’s wife. he mentioned her on last season’s Project Runway. They went up against Ed McMahons family last week on Celebrity Family Feud. The only other black person in Tiki’s family was his mama. To each their own.Nichelle Nichols beats out everyone featured above. She still looks amazing and I cant even bring myself to watch that show

  5. Ashanti – Now somebody explain to me why she still has a career? Mariah – was always a pariah to me. She has some serious self-esteem issues.Ahhh Jenny is tying to lose baby weight per the weekly rags. I highly recommend the book “Make Him Look Good” by ALisa Valdez Rodriquez whic was a send up of the JLo/Skeletor/Ben Affleck relationship. Tocarra showed her boobies in the Italian Vogue!Anytime Tyra runs out of wigs she can get one from the dummy.Trina may have lower leg edema because that looks weird and she’s not overweight.Nichelle Nichols looks fabulous. Do you remember the psychic infomercial she did 13 years ago?

  6. Ashanti is one of the few celebs I wouldn’t be afraid to be alone in a room with. So many of them seem nuts. She seems really down to earth. (I’m ignoring the fact that she dated Nelly)

  7. I agree with everyone else – Nichelle Nichols looks better than any of the rest of the bunch. She needs to share her secret with the rest of us – I want to look like her when I grow up!

  8. After a lunch downtown one day at the Ritz-Carlton, my husband and I had the pleasure of riding down in an elevator with Dennis Rodman, his wife, and some other guy I think was a basketball player. Dude was F-UGLY! I mean, really, frightfully F-UGLY! I think he was miffed that I didn’t go all groupie and that I didn’t ask him for an autograph… Matter of fact, I don’t think we said anything at all to him the entire ride down–not meaning to be rude, but I just didn’t want him to even remotely think I was a groupie. Check this out–you might want to re-think adding him to your Great Wall of Sexy… http://bumpshack.com/2008/05/01/dennis-rodman-roughes-up-michelle-moyer/Oh, and I’m with you on Mariah–she looks so much more attractive as a brunette. She even used to look elegant once–like in the picture you linked to. Oh well!

  9. I just looked back at the photo I gave you the link to, and you know what? I swear, Rodman could have done The Joker in Batman–that’s what he looks like. But, his performance wouldn’t have been anywhere near as brilliant has Heath’s…

  10. FYI all: Someone totally tried to sneak some “BUY ED HARDY” spam in my comments section. Um … that is under my category of “douchery” and will get your comment DELETED! Thank you much.It was so totally suspect since the person thought Dennis looked “good.” Unless you’re a 19 year old white girl from 1996, no one thinks Dennis Rodman is hot!tamra: OMG! That was very Joker-esque, but no one could touch Heath’s performance. I saw the flick twice and he was f-ing brilliant. Made me mad that he died all over again. So young. So talented.

  11. Thanks for the (recent) pictures of Nichelle Nicholas with George Takei (Lt. Sulu) from Star Trek. In light of the bounty of celebrity photos you so generously made available to us, I spent few days organizing my own celebrity collection and came across some pictures of Nichelle when she was a pin-up girl. The rumor is that’s why Gene Rodenberry hired her for the part of Lt. Uhuru. Your pictures of Nichelle with grey hair show her PROUD to be who she is today, and of course so is George!

  12. “Or she has thighs so big Popeye’s is threatening to fry them up and serve them to the Reverend Al Sharpton.”LMAO!!

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