Profiles In Sexy: Meagan Good and Henry Simmons

Goodness! It has been too long since I profiled some individuals off my Great Wall of Sexy but here are two people who are so sexy they become obscene.

Great Wall of Sexy alums actors Meagan Good (“It’s Good to Be Sexy“) and Henry Simmons (“Break Up Sexy“) were first round inductees despite their lack of media coverage.

Of Simmons, I wrote:

You know if you broke up with him you’d still have sex with him if he called you out of the blue and was like, “Hey, I was out drinking but I’m too drunk to drive home and I didn’t want to wake you or anything but I had no one else to call for a ride.” You know he’s just saying that to get you to have sex with him one more ‘gain, but you are totally getting out of bed to see how quickly you can wipe the drool off our mouth and get your contacts in.

Of Meagan I’ve written nothing, but that’s not because I don’t find her sexy. She’s like a black Jessica Rabbit. She’s incredibly sexy, it’s just the Wall is still a work in progress.

I was going to do another “Sexy Versus Sexy” featuring them but that was pointless with these two. Both veer into pornography territory (especially Good) depending on how they’re photographed.

I can still remember watching Good in “Eve’s Bayou” and thinking she was such a promising young actress. I still think she has that potential, but a boob job will elevate a beautiful girl to black Barbie doll, sexpot status. And she’s there.

There’s a particular vulgarity in Good’s style. It’s a good vulgarity. Like the kind that will guarantee that she’ll get some kind of work in Hollywood for a long time. But she’s almost too hot to play any of the usual roles black women get in film and television. Like best friend of the white woman. Victim. Asexual harridan. And court judge. She’s not believable in any of those roles.

If I ran Hollywood I’d put her and Wall of Sexy alum Jill Marie Jones (or alum Zoe Saldana or alum Rosario Dawson) in a film where they played highly intelligent, but sexy, running and gunning hustlers/con artists who seduce and destroy their way across America. The climax would take place in Vegas where they attempt to pull off the ultimate sexy Poker faced robbery/payday. And sure, we know I’d be able to sell a surprising number of tickets to that, but I know it would take convincing of the Hollywood brass that people would show up to watch a well-written and directed action/adventure starring extremely sexy black women who are playing characters who the smartest in the room.

But I know the MEN would show up. (And lesbians.) And I know black women who would enjoy seeing some fierce sisters who were the smartest ladies in the room. And we could put Henry Simmons, Idris Elba (as an obscenely wealthy British business man) and Terrence Howard (as the law man on their trail) as love interests. And the WOMEN (and gays) would totally show up to see that. I know I’d personally stand in line in the rain. So seriously, Hollywood. Green light my film.

We could call it “Gorgeous Black People Who Are Smarter, Sexier and More Interesting Than Everyone Else Win At the End of the Movie.” Or “Games People Play,” the title of my favorite song by The Alan Parsons Project.

As for Simmons, he is “scoop you up with a spoon and lick it” sexy. He just looks like he taste like mint chocolate chip ice cream. He muscular and ripped and almost as porny as Good. Would the film in the cameras melt if they were ever in a film together making the “me so sexy” face? Would their abs have a contest over who’s abs were hotter? Who would seduce who and which would have the hotter love scene? These are things I need to know.

Simmons manages to stay in employed through theater, televi
sion and his abs. The last time I saw him he was laying his smoldering hotness on Sophina Brown (also on the Wall of Sexy) on “Shark.” But just like Good trolling around in hip hop films with her heaving bosoms, Simmons’ skill is rather wasted playing the heavy. What’s the point in being that hot and you never get to star in anything?

Taye Diggs, who I absolutely cannot stand and do not find attractive for whatever reason, continually gets to star in TV shows. I don’t know why Diggs is more special than Simmons or any of the other hot black men on my Great Wall of Sexy. Why is he forced upon me as the definition of sexy? I often feel like he’s being crammed down my throat like Halle Berry has been crammed down my throat before. There are other hot black marginal actors (Allen Payne and Hill Harper to name two). Let someone else slow burn up the screen.

8 thoughts on “Profiles In Sexy: Meagan Good and Henry Simmons

  1. That was hilarious! And true in so many ways. If Hollywood would get rid of so many of its racist studio heads it would be Good and Simmons who would have starred in a movie like Mr. and Mrs. Smith. Heck they could’ve been the Angie and Brad of Hollywood with a rainbow tribe of kids! If Hollywood wasn’t so tied into its narrowness, their profit margin would be higher because more quality movies starring people of color, written and directed by people of color would be greenlit instead of rejected – and white people would turn out in droves as well.

  2. I just feel that it is a crime and a waste of sexy to have gorgeous black actors and actresses stand in the background doing their best to sell these marginal roles.And Hollywood really needs to remove its head from its ass when it comes to black actresses. I believe that given the right vehicle there are black actresses who could help open a blockbuster film. But you have to get roles and get breaks to pull the necessary publicity for that gambit.And you can’t tell me that non-black men are NOT attracted to Meagan Good and wouldn’t watch her read out of the dictionary for two hours. I just would not believe them. If you’re a straight man with a pulse you find some part of Meagan Good attractive.And everyone finds black men sexually attractive. Everyone. Taye Diggs’ career is a testament to that.So Hollywood needs to get over itself and take what they think would be a “risk.” They’re willing to stick Will Smith in everything and there is nothing sexy about Will (to me).Although Jada will always be the hotness.

  3. Hush your potty mouth. I was blushing just reading the Henry Simmons piece. You just shut right up.Now let me read that again, whilest I look at his abs.

  4. One more thing, Meagan Good is a much better actress than Halle Berry. She could really get more work.She is smart and she has started her OWN production company.

  5. The problem with Good is that she tries SO SO REALLY REALLY hard to be sexy that she misses the mark by a mile and becomes a parody of a sexy movie star. Even worse is this aloof, distant vibe with her. In other words, you can tell if a brother tried to talk to her she wouldn’t give him the time of day. As for Simmons I dont know I’m a guy, but 1) I have no idea who he is and 2) he looks to me like THE GAYEST DUDE ON THE PLANET!!!! I thought women wanted real men, not homos

  6. They are both absolutely gorgeous! I love your film idea Snob. It would be brilliant. I’ve never understood Taye Diggs appeal.

  7. I’m super late with this but we need to start a campaign to get “Games People Play” made! I will be standing in the rain right next to you, salivating, waiting for the hotness to unfold. You made my day with this one Snob.

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