Kimora With Cupcakes and Theo Huxtable Sings?

Today’s celebrity photo roundup is very random. Just pics of my homegirl, Florissant, Mo.’s own, not-black-black-person Kimora Lee Simmons at a party thrown for her and former Vibe Magazine editor-in-chief Emil Wilbekin by Giant Magazine.

Also featured are pictures from the Essence Music Festival featuring Malcolm Jamal Warner, performing, with his band, Faith Evans in some of the World’s Ugliest Clothes, Anthony Hamilton and, of all people, “media personality” Sway.

But first, Kimora and all her expensive jewelry, camera-hogging, pretending-to-eat-a-cupcake glory.

First off. I’m always a little concerned when people try to do the “sexy face” on camera. It’s not that Kiki isn’t sexy. It’s just … no. The squint. The sloppily open mouth. The fact that she did it half assed when she is/was a professional fashion model. She knows how to give good face. What the hell, Kiki? This is all kinds of wrong. Plus, in real life, she would just inhale that cupcake, but since she poured herself into the tightest little black dress she could find she can’t risk it.

WireImage is consistently inadequate in their descriptions of photos. This pic was labeled as Simmons and “family.” Who? Who are these family members? Cousins? Half-siblings? Full siblings? Please explain! When you’re a not-black-black-person, who’s black, Korean and Japanese anyone could be your family.

Kimora always knows where the camera is … even for a “spontaneous” hug with fellow party honoree Emil Wilbekin.

I swear. When I look at the photos I can hear the loudness of Kimora’s laugh. Because when you’re already a six-foot-tall Glamazon you really need a voice that can be heard from several blocks away.

While Kimora was holding in her stomach for cute party pics, Malcolm Jamal Warner, aka “Theo Huxtable,” was throwing down for Essence Magazine. I didn’t even know he could blow.

Anthony Hamilton

The first of “Faith Evans What the Hell Are You Wearing?” Black leather jacket and black thigh high boots with a flimsy, multi-colored baby doll dress. Girl … stop. It’s one-part Strawberry Shortcake and one-part pirate themed stripper.

Anthony Hamilton and wife Tarsha

I don’t care if Sway and MJW stand next to it and point. I’m still not drinking Coke Zero.

And Sway’s got on an Andy Warhol-esque Obama T-shirt.

And now for part two … more pirate boots, skinny jeans and a Led Zeppelin T-shirt. I won’t ask her to name a Zeppelin song (I’m all about “Babe I’m Gonna Leave You.”) as a lot of people wear rock n’ roll band shirts just because they look neat. But really, girl? What are you wearing? And that purse is so big she could kill Theo and smuggle h
is body out in it. I’m not saying pirate boots with the skinny jeans are a bad thing. On some women they look absolutely amazing. But they make Faith look like she’s gotta a lil’ Captain in her.

10 thoughts on “Kimora With Cupcakes and Theo Huxtable Sings?

  1. Hrrrmmm…Me likey Kimora. Me no likey these photos. They are old, no? Cause she’s not showing any baby fat (Get it! HA! I made a funny.)This is from last year’s Essence? AH better get him a chocolate bar wifey! I must have missed Theo cause I went last year. He was probably one of those Superlounge acts that perform while the real show is playing. He, Eddie Winslow, and Carlton Banks need to get together and start a “supergroup” LSG style…

  2. 1. I love Kimora!2. I just, I kid you not, just listened to MJW’s album, his band is called Miles Long on itunes last night. His voice is so sexy, and it is apparent that my childhood crush on Theo Huxtable may never, ever, go away.

  3. You know, I might be in the minority but I never found Kimora to be attractive. I mean she’s no beast but the moon face and wobbly, Amazon body. I just never saw what was so fine about her. But Russell and Djimon sure saw it! LOLKimora’s father is a VERY well known street hustler. I don’t know if that’s him in the picture though. Not “black-black person”?? LOL. That must be your personal perception of her because she always identified herself as a sista. I knew a black/Filipina girl who resembled Kimora a bit and she was also just as unattractive (to me).Malcolm actually used to play in a jazz band. I forget the name. He’s always been a bassist. He recites poetry too.Faith looked like she packed on a few of the pounds that she originally dramtically shed …hence her wearing the baggy garb. LOL

  4. Hey, Coke zero is pretty good! It’s the only diet drink that doesn’t taste diet-y, besides diet Dr. Pepper.Oh, and Kimora irritates me to no end. Sorry! 🙂

  5. The most frightening thing is Faith’s weave! YIKES!!!I go back and forth with Kimora. She’s obviously attractive but I’m not sure if she’s sexy.Monie

  6. the most disturbing thing about kimora is that neck….i cannot figure out why it’s so meaty…i’m serious…

  7. mynameismyname: I see Kimora as a black woman, but “not-black-black-person” is the jokey label I came up with to describe all biracial people with some African ancestry. I felt the term “biracial” was inadequate because you can have no black blood and still be biracial. It wasn’t descriptive enough.Or funny. 😉starrie: I try to block out the neck roll. It makes no sense other than she does have a really chubby face and is not starving herself for “fashion” anymore.

  8. @blacksnob…as for kimora’s unexplainable neck rolls, all i can say is that goodness for photoshop…;)

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