1. Gary Dourdan was fired from CSI. I don’t watch CSI so I didn’t realize he’d been unceremoniously fired from the show. Gary is a member of The Great Wall of Sexy. He’s been hot since “A Different World” when he sent Freddie’s woman-parts aflame. He was also hot in Janet Jackson’s video “Again.” And I’m sure he continued to be hot when he was busted after Coachella with a bunch of drugs in the car.
Those totally weren’t his. Complete misunderstanding there, I’m sure.
Once again, while I didn’t watch the show, this has to be just as bad when Jesse L. Martin announced he was leaving “Law and Order.” Jesse is also a Great Wall alumnus. Who is driving all the hot black men from network television? Who, I say, WHO??? If CSI: NY (which I also don’t watch) dumps Hill Harper (also on the wall) I’m going to call “shenanigans” and declare this an official conspiracy to deny women of hot black men on television. When they came for Isaiah Washington, I said nothing. Then they came for Jesse L. Martin, and I said nothing. How far will this purging of hotness go, Hollywood? HOW FAR!!!
2. Things I’m declaring a moratorium on:
- Songs about strippers
- So-called “hip hop” radio stations who only play Young-Joc and T-Pain
- Ray J
- $4-per-gallon gasoline
- “thrown under the bus”
- Bossy people
- This Montag person
- Making fun of Britney Spears
- Celebrating athletes for being “good fathers” who aren’t married to the women who gave birth to the kid, but are shacking up with her anyway (And I mean you, LeBron James.)
- Crip walking if you are not, in fact, a gangbanger
- Wolf Blitzer
- Wearing all your money on your back
- “I wanna make love in this club.”
- Cigarette smoking in clubs and bars
- Will Smith
3. What is the cheesiest song you love? Mine is Rod Stewart’s “Do Ya Think I’m Sexy.” It’s shitacular, only rivaled by every song recored by Sir Mix-A-Lot and songs from Hall & Oates’ 80s period. M-E-T-H-O-D O-F L-O-V-E! It’s the method of modern love!