Uncategorized

The Complaint Department: News flash. Men of Color Are Sexy Too.

Some gorgeous men are hard to find. In Hollywood and on the internet they’re damn near impossible.

(L to R) Adam Rodriguez of CSI: Miami, Michael Ealy of Sleeper Cell, Ian Anthony Hale of Surface and Blair Underwood of everything, but is best known for LA Law.

Dear fellow Black Snobs,

As some of you may have noticed, when I am stressed out or bored I collect pictures of celebrities. Nothing like lots and lots of pretty people staring back at me, it’s great. But my long running complaint has been the sheer lack of gorgeous layouts of black, Asian or Latino men.

What the hell, Hollywood?

When you search online you can find reams of famous white male actors photographed in all these sumptuous, gorgeous, artistic and provocative ways. The women get the same treatment, although they’re often more sexually charged. And even the sistas, as invisible as we are in the mass media, there are tons of gorgeous, professionally done, sexy, artistic, fierce and classy pictures of us floating around.

Gabrielle Union could start a cottage industry based on hot pictures of herself. Ditto for Halle Berry. Even Lisa Bonet has gorgeous shots for days and she hasn’t worked in years.

But when it comes to men of color, especially black and Asian men, it’s like searching for needles in a haystack. Most of the pictures of black male celebrities look cheap and poorly thrown together no matter how sexy the man is. (Which is a fucking insult. Seriously. Black and Asian men are hot. My word!) The pictures (if black) either tart him up like the male version of a cheesecake pin-up (see “Moore, Shemar“) or they are treated to a photo that looks like it was shot at Sears.

As for the hot Asian men. What hot Asian men? Did the internet ban all pictures of the hot boys of Japanese, Chinese, Korean, Filipino, etc. descent? Why haven’t I seen a new picture of Rick Yune in, like, five years? Why won’t people do lengthy photo editorials of Kal Penn?

There have been many, MANY times I have threatened to create a “Vanity Fair” style magazine dedicated to all attractive famous people. (Start-up money, anyone?) One where Beyonce is as likely to rock the cover as Kate Winslet. Where Lucy Liu isn’t crammed in the back and treated like a weird fetish. Where black women get to look gorgeous outside of “Essence.” And where men, all men, could be told how hot they all are all the time.

Vanity Fair Magazine does this, but primarily focuses on the whiter end of the entertainment industry. As much as I love the magazine I’m routinely frustrated how their editorial content (fascinating and well-written) and photography (the best this side of Vogue) mix with the “ghettoization” of black actors and actresses. The fact that Joy Bryant and Taye Diggs (Gah, Taye Diggs!) were (NSFW) both naked in Tom Ford’s Hollywood issue of VF irritated me on no end. Sure. There was a LOT of nudity (primarily white female, disembodied, sexiest nudity), but Taye was the ONLY man who was naked. All the other men were done up as masters of their own universe with a gratuitous amount of naked white women around them. I’m not saying they should have done that to Taye (because I didn’t like it that they did it with George Clooney and Topher Grace) but, dude, put some damn pants on.

So why? Why is it that my Johnny Depp collection is overflowing with 323 photos, but my Michael Ealy collection is anemic at 23. Why do I have 109 pics of Brandon Routh, who has only done one film of note, but only 21 picks of Boris Kodjoe and seven, SEVEN paltry pictures of Blair Underwood?

I realize that some of this is because Depp, Routh and lots of other white actors have made bigger films and have had bigger roles, but bullshit. How do you explain the 62 high quality pictures I have of Gabrielle Union? Tracee Ellis Ross, 54. One-hundred-and-fifty-three of Rosario Dawson. My favorite boozer, Michelle Rodriguez, 91. Zoe Saldana, one of my favs, 141 pics!

That’s not that there are female celebrities of color suffering from a lack of gorgeous shots. Gina Torres, Gloria Reuben, Victoria Rowell and even my girl Vanessa Williams is suffering along with Angela Bassett, N’Bushe Wright, Maya Rudolph and Jill Marie Jones. But they’re all doing way better in the high quality/interesting photo department as compared to my poor, poor Allen Payne, Morris Chestnut, Daniel Sunjata, Derek Luke, Dule Hill, Gary Dourdan, Henry Simmons, Hill Harper, Isaiah Washington and James LeSure. It’s like a legit photographer’s lens would fall to pieces if they were forced to photography their “sexy.” It’s like it would be hard for these men to take a good picture. C’mon! They are all beautiful in their own way.

Give me more Amaury Nolasco, Adam Rodriguez, Bratt, Banderas and Del Toro. More Dwayne “the Rock” Johnson, Enrique Murciano, Jeffery Wright, Jason Momoa, John Cho, John Leguizamo, Karl Yune, Daniel Henney, Leon, Nate Parker, Omar Epps and Leonardo Nam.

A matter of fact, the only POC actor I can find an insane number of pictures of is Wentworth Miller, but I’m sure that has everything to do with him being sexually attractive and nothing with the fact that he looks white.

I’m sure.

Anyway, if you ever get bored check out my “Great Wall of Sexy” on flickr. It’s a biracial hotness lovefest where I sexually harass all of them, male and female. Also, after viewing it will be painfully obvious that I am partial to brunettes, fey men, masculine men, people who can tan, crazy women and Amazons. (I think Uma Thurman and Owen Wilson are the only blonds who made the Wall of Sexy.”)

The wall is supposed to include things not typically considered sexy, (see that very Hindi meta photo of Sanjaya “Good Hair, Bad Singing” Malakar and actor Kal Penn at a White House Correspondents dinner a year back). But for now it’s just actors, actresses, comedians and models. I try to add to the wall from time to time. It is very unfinished (too few pictures of Prince on there and nothing of Derek Luke and Morris Chesnutt, I haven’t uploaded my new Tyra and Naomi pics. I’m slacking on the sexy).

I’m also partial to crazy mo-fo women. Mostly because I wish I could be that insane in public. I know she’s a polarizing figure, my favorite woman on the “Great Wall of Sexy” is former model, sometimes actress, full-time crazy Angelina Jolie (followed shortly by the psychos, divas and the moon children). But I told you I like my women crazy and stealing/adopting random chilluns from all over the globe aside, I’ve loved her since “Girl Interrupted” and “Gia.” She’s my favorite crazy white woman just like how Naomi Campbell is my favorite crazy black woman.

Man, is that woman crazy.

There’s no official ranking on “The Wall of Sexy.” I spell checked nothing so if some of it makes no sense at all, you’ve been forewarned. Feel free to bumble through my ramblings and if you noticed a dearth of my favorite hot black men it’s because most of their pictures (my number one complaint and reason for this post) weren’t of good enough quality to make the very glossy Wall of Sexy.

That and I don’t find Will Smith, Jamie Foxx and Nick Cannon sexy. There are tons of photos of them floating around, especially Will, who is very unsexy in damn near all of them. (And he isn’t even that bad looking of a guy, just not sexy. Jada, though. Very sexy.) Jamie can have his moments of sexy, it’s just not consistent. And Taye Diggs? Don’t even go there with me. I just hate that man for no reason so much. Sweet Jesus, I can’t stand him!

I’ll just focus on Isaiah Washington and TJ Holmes until I calm down.

Standard

23 thoughts on “The Complaint Department: News flash. Men of Color Are Sexy Too.

  1. nadra: Funny you would mention that because I LOOOOOOVE Russell Wong. I mean, he’s still hot now, but ten years ago? Good-googa-mooga. He’s a prime example of how Hollywood does gorgeous men of color, specifically Asian men, salty. It’s like if you’re a hot Asian man you’re the “two-legged-stool” of the entertainment industry. Too good looking to play the take-out delivery guy with the thick accent, to Asian to play the romantic lead.What the hell? You’d have to be blind to not want that man!And I do need to add him to the wall. I think I have more Mark Damascos pics than Wong.

  2. I’m glad you’re a fan. The kicker about Mr. Wong is that he has a child with a black woman. His daughter is now in her teens. Now, he’s married to a Chinese fashion designer, though.

  3. Deedlelee says:

    Ladies, Ladies, Ladies!One name in absolute black man hotness: Eammon Walker (Minister Said)He is the one brotha I would have chained myself to the stove for!!!My second choice is Idris Elbaoh, lawd!Asian actor Ken Watanabe is hot tooand, don’t sleep Chow Yun Fat, either (especially in Crouching Tiger). Jimmy Smits still melts my butterI don’t know of any east asian actors that would send me, but I am up for sugesstions!

  4. deedledee: Eamonn is tantalizing. And Ken Watanabe is also hot. True, True. Jimmy Smitts is smokin’. Smitts is what Benjamin Bratt wishes he was in terms of “the sexy.”Chow Yun Fat, I loved him in “Crouching Tiger” but he’s not sexy enough for me. Chen Chang, who’s also in Crouching Tiger is sexy and Andy Lau, I drool just at the thought of him. The man is a genius, but he won’t do American cinema because he can read the racism on the wall. You can’t be sexy and Asian and get a job doing anything in Hollywood except for maybe “bad guy,” ninja and fortune cookie dispenser.Hollywood would take a guy like Lau and have him do all the badassery in the movie and not even get a smooch from the damsel in distress. Like poor Jackie Chan and Aaliyah. But then, they had zero chemistry in “Romeo Must Die.” If it had been Russell Wong and Aaliyah the streets would have been on fire (or at least for me, ’cause Russell Wong is hot as hell.)Idris Elba, also delicious. You have good taste, girl.

  5. cityprof: Thanks for the heads up. For some reason I had Sophina Brown in there instead of Lisa, which makes no sense as they look nothing alike and aren’t near each other on “the wall.”So I’m going to chalk this up to … um, pre-mature senior moment?Thanks for pointing that out, tho. I love Lisa and I love Sophina, but Lisa rules forever in my Snob heart.Feel free to stop by and comment every time.

  6. brendaKay, et al: I’m liking your choices there. I also find Daniel Dae Kim, and Win Yun Lee as attractive.And Jason Momoa. Wonderful. Only I don’t like him with the dreds. I thought he was cuter with the short haircut. But he and Lisa Bonet definitely made sense as lovers despite complaints about their age difference. She’s a biracial star child. He’s a biracial star child. I mean, I’ll be Lenny n’ Lisa until I die, but Lisa and Jason are the hotness too.

  7. There is this really sexy, hot, Asian guy–for the life of me I can’t think of his name. I think he’s half Korean and half black or something. He was one of three panelists on CNN after a presidential debate one day–maybe about a month or so ago? I was in a total tizzy when I saw him–of course I’d Googled him, but for the life of me I can’t remember his name so that you can add him to your wall! Trust me, you would definitely want to add him. 😉 I think he’s more of a pop-culture type journalist than just a straight news guy–I think he’s even done something with MTV. Trying to remember his name is going to drive me nuts. I’ll holler if I find it. Dude is a straight-up HOTTIE.Kandyse McClure, Tom Welling man. Gotta add them. Did I not see Chewie? Where’s Chewie??? (Ejiofor) I know he’s no longer with us, but I’ve always thought Brandon Lee is hot. And Maxwell–where is man-candy-Maxwell??? Cool wall!

  8. Andrea says:

    I can’t keep up with you. Stop blogging so fast! I have work to do and really, I usually only comment on one blog. I’ve been trying to schedule you in because…you are the shit!Now…I love that photo of John Leguizamo. He is like that! Nasty!I have to tell you that your brain is innovative, fresh, quick, witty, smart, and eccentric. Your blog reminds me of Vanity Fair (wit, eclectic, political), Esquire (you write like a male writer), and what Essence never could be (wasted potential and squandered legacy). (I love Wired and Fast Company and Good too. You don’t write about stuff they write about…yet.)You kind of remind me of the original Honey in tone but also the defunct New York Socialite blog.But seriously…can you slow down?I know next week I will probably hear that you are in the Middle East doing a cultural piece or creating a show on through the BBC. You seem to be like that…bubbling with energy, ideas, and the midas touch.

  9. Andrea says:

    Oh shit!You are like ironic and dead-on like Details too. How could I forget Details. I love their scope in thinking and coming up with stories. So smart!As you may notice, I am female but I read more male magazines and dig more male writers. You are a pioneer, Girl! Too many women (Black Women writers) are not as risky in being funny. I like that you are not afraid of humor. It’s a very male thing, you know. Funny women are rare and those that are have to fight with the Boys for recognition.Do it Girl!

  10. tamra: Are you thinking of DJ Theo? I don’t think he was biracial though. He was the first Asian man I saw that made me go, “Whoa. He is hot.” But he was on MTV when I was in high school and that was ten years ago. But I’ll see if I can back track who he was.As per the Wall of Sexy. I have added Maxwell, but he’s in a messy batch of photos I still need to organize.andrea: I couldn’t stop if I tried. And I really, really tried this week.And thank you for the compliments. As I’ve written before I love Vanity Fair and you’ve basically described the sort of magazine I wish I could make. I’ve debated off and on if I could ever have the gall to pitch a magazine to Oprah’s publishing company. I still feel like I need to get a real job before I shoot for the moon.But thank you for the feedback. I’m just so happy that I’m developing such a great audience. You guys are awesome.

  11. andrea: I also like a lot of male writers (and enjoy reading GQ and Details and Wired from time-to-time.)I’ve always been annoyed how women and black writers are forced into a box, so I’ve been determined to appeal to a more diverse audience while maintaining my black/female perspectives.Plus, I’d get pretty fucking bored writing about nothing but clothes and Denzel Washington all the ding-dong-day.And I realized around age ten that my sense of humor did not work well with the body God gave me. Girls thought I was weird and I universally freaked every man out, regardless of race, until I was out of college. That poor boy in my junior achievement class. We were joking around about being the boss of something and told him, “So you were the HWBIC? Head white boy in charge?”He never spoke to me again.But Aisha Tyler gives me hope.Also, one of my old writing buddies from Texas flat out told me that I wrote like “a man” in the sense that I seemed to understand the psychology of maleness. I told him to not let my writing fool him, I may understand men, but I don’t understand them the minute we start dating. Love causes me to lose some of my objectivity. I’m probably more pragmatic about love and romance than some women, but I still expect you to know what I’m talking about by reading my mind.

  12. I Love Andy Lau and Marcus Chong. Speaking of which after the disaster that was “Panther”, I haven’t seen Marcus.Too many fine ass men to count in your “wall of sexy”. Gary Dourdan is a personal fave as well as Mr. Wentworth. Djimon Honsou. Sigh. Thanks Snob. The beauty of diversity in effect.

  13. but I’m sure that has everything to do with him being sexually attractive and nothing with the fact that he looks white.I’m sure.^^^LOLOLOL Love this.I think his popularity is due in fact to him being so damn sexy (and of course, the awesomeness of Prison Break) but to a certain extent, with some, the ‘novelty’ behind his ‘skindom’. People hear/learn of his multiracialness/biracialness and either they refute it out right, deny, deny, deny or they embrace it and call him on it in every stinking interview….or not. I say just let the sexy flow! Regardless of melanin-levels in the skin. Sexy is Sexy! LOL.Still, your wall of sexy is delicious. LOL. I love that you have Lenny Kravitz…do you know how much I love this man? No really, I LOVE THIS MAN!!! Fell in love with him back in 1992, freshmen year when I heard “It Ain’t Over” creepin’ through my dorm room walls. Sexy!And Michael Ealy was so hawt as Ricky in Barbershop. God he was just…sexy!

  14. madame z: I love me some Wenty-Went. And I DOOOO think a lot of his picture game all over the internet is related to his hotness, but it is also a perfect storm of his multi-ethnic background, his high degree of “keep-it-to-myself-ism,” the “is-he-or-is-he-not-gay” quotient and the fact that he appears to be on TV and in real life the classic “sensitive thinking man.”He also looks like he’d have really soft hands.So looking white does not hurt Wentworth. But the whole shebang does mean that every picture you’ve ever taken since birth is going to wind up on the net.Those Wentworth fans are “scary,” and I know this because I am one.Oh … and I still haven’t gotten over the end of Lenny and Lisa’s marriage. They were my boho power couple! If two biracial Jews can’t stay in love WHO CAN!?!? They “Let Love Rule.”It was just so upsetting.

  15. To Adam Rodriguez, Si Se Puede! He’s pretty darn sexy. And I took a look at your wall of sexy & I just have to say I don’t appreciate your “sexy-lite” designation of Hill Harper. I mean, he’s handsome, sure enough, but the fact that he’s both Brown and Harvard educated, (magna cum laude and cum laude, respectively) sets him over the edge w/me. All that brain power? AND he’s concerned enough about the future of the black community to write books targeted to young black men?It’s interesting that you ladies mention Essence. Forever and a day, (since high school-collegeish) it has been my dream to work for them. Primarily because its the only magazine of substance targeted at black women. But recently I’ve really been disillusioned w/it. Like once I started sitting down to read it every month I realized it’s the same recycled stories that never really deliver what the cover lines promise. I’m not that much into fashion or beauty, so I don’t know. I’ve never read Vanity Fair, but I’ve heard such good things about the writing, I may have to give in. I also LOVE GQ, Esquire and Details! And Danielle I liked Panther! I mean, I was like 16 @ the time I saw it & Marcus Chong was the highlight but still!

  16. C says:

    As I skimmed your comments, I didn’t see where the mention of Details magazine came in, but that used to be my number one source for pictures of male model Kevin Louie. I remember seeing him mentioned on “House of Style” (or something like that) too, but now it’s like he’s disappeared. I’m hoping that we’re about to see more Asian entertainers in a less flavor-of- the-month fashion and Louie will reemerge. That man was fine as hell!I also like Jack Yang. He was a francophone gangster on “Nip/Tuck” and Mia’s completely underrated love interest on “Cashmere Mafia.” I only watched CM to see him–that show sucks.I’ll definitely cosign on Daniel Dae Kim and the hottie that made an impression on me from “House of Flying Daggers” was Takeshi Kaneshiro, not Andy Lau.Oh yeah, and it was Jet Li in “Romeo Must Die” not Jackie Chan.

  17. Your wall collection is toooo sexy!! I could not find a missing jewel, but I am sure there are some out.Consider Kamar De Los Reyes. Stars on One Life to Live. Don’t watch the show but love it when I catch a promo!Great post.

  18. Anonymous says:

    lol…i was going to say something about adding russell wong to the list of sexy asian mia men, but i was beaten to the punch…also, i loved the movie the “lost boys” from the 80’s…mostly because of the vampire played by billy wirth…his mother is native american… *starrie*

  19. Anonymous says:

    @ Nadra…Good looking out on Russell Wong@ The Black Snob….I will agree with you on 90% of your post, but Will Smith is that dude. Love him!

Leave a Reply