Tiger, Tiger Woods Y'all

Eeeeeevil Tiger Woods


Like a laughing, maniacal super-villain of golf, Tiger Woods is returning to the scene of a crime.

I love Tiger Woods. I’m a huge, HUGE fan of his body of beatdown work. But as day one of the US Masters passed it dawned on me that Tiger has crossed over from being merely the best athlete in the world to super villain.

Now, I don’t misunderstand. I don’t want Tiger to be tamed. I do not want his reign to ever, ever end. I will never tire of hearing commentators running out of adjectives. Nor will I ever tire of seeing the looks on the exhausted faces of those forced to bend to his might. This is fun for me. Now I know how all those smart-ass Chicago fans felt when Jordan destroyed my precious LA Lakers. It’s great.

But seriously, Tiger is almost too good for his damn self this season and I’m starting to think it’s official.

He’s crossed over to the dark side. You can’t get that kind of top spin without hanging out with the dark lord of the Sith. I’m not complaining though. Darth Vader was a total badass until Phantom Menace. It’s like Lucas wanted to run his best character into the ground.

So as long as Jar Jar Binks doesn’t show up as Eldrick’s caddy, I’ll feel pretty secure about the next decade being another ten years of Tiger.

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5 thoughts on “Eeeeeevil Tiger Woods

  1. Evil Tiger? LOL! The only and I mean the only issue I have with Mr. Eldrick T. Woods is his politics…or the lack thereof. He is “owned” by his endorsements or potential for more. I question if Tiger is really “free”. I don’t think I will ever get over the “non-issue” stance he took on the noose. That is not to say that he had out his so called friend, Ms. Tighlman, but c’mon bruh! The very instrument of anti-black violence is a non-issue? He could have made it a teachable moment, but he chose otherwise, and that is his decision to make.I digress, I take no greater pride in seeing Tiger walk to “Amen Corner” with that look on his face that says, “You know about to win right?” and the reciprocal look on his white counterparts when they too know the end is near…it’s like watching a kid about to get a whoopin’/spanked by a parent. I LOVE IT!As a golf enthusiast myself, I remember being a caddie at an all white private course in St. Louis, and I used to play with some of the older black men who worked there on our days off and we would talk about the greats like Elder, Peete, and Dent…One of the “old timers” who worked there used to tell me that “your generation is going to turn the game around.” So I say bring it on! Tiger is like Obama from the standpoint that for some it burns them up that they cannot exploit a weakness…whitefolks have run out of ways to try and beat him and resort to whatever tactics they can to try to take him out of the game.Think about this…ever wonder why Augusta doesn’t have the low scores it used to? It is because of the margin of victory that Tiger won his first Master’s (which is still a record). The course was lengthened and made more “challenging” because of Tiger’s game…not anyone else. Just think about the NBA changing the height of the rim or the length of the court so that Jordan couldn’t score as much. Crazy right?So for my dollar T-Woods can keep destroying the rest of the mostly white field of competition, as I said those looks from the crowd, commentators, and players is PRICELESS (Serena and Venus know what Tiger feels).I want him also obliterate Jack Nicklaus’s record for majors won…but sooner or later Mr. Woods is going to have to explain that noose to his daughter.

  2. NI: Tiger is very mum on the politics and it is a mum with purpose. He doesn’t want anything to interfere with his bottom line.I’d like it if he were more vocal, but short of a life-or-death situation, I don’t see him becoming a latter day Jackie Robinson. If he deals with race issues he does it off camera. The man is very in control of his image unlike some athletes, like say, LeBron James.If Tiger isn’t free it’s because he chooses not to be. I think he’d prefer to not deal with the “race issue” at all even though he is well aware of what his success in a “white” sport means.That said, whether conscious or subconscious, he doesn’t seem particularly interested in either black or Asian people. I don’t know if he was rejected by both when he was a kid or just never got that involved with either of his ethnicities. He doesn’t say diddly poop about being Asian, which is very different from other Hapas like Kimora Lee Simmons ghetto self, who is proudly black and Asian.

  3. Anonymous says:

    He is very talented as an athlete, but his popularity, particularly with minorities, has plummeted in the last few years. He, in my opinion, greatly mishandled the comments made by the female commentator. Even if she is his friend, there are some things you do not joke about. He should have called her on it.

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