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Vanity Fair: My Excuse to Show Pictures of Gorgeous Black People

Actor Lance Gross, model/actress Eva Pigford, director Tyler Perry, actress Angela Bassett at Thursday nights premiere of Tyler Perry’s “Meet the Browns” (Wire Image)

In case you didn’t know notice, The Snob really loves black people. Sure, I snark on them from time to time, but black people know I care. I once dragged my sister to see “White Chicks.” It was summer and I was bored. I figured, hey, if was going to blow $6 on a movie, why not help the Wayans Bros. out. As I told her, crappy black movies pay for good black movies. They convince Hollywood that risking some millions on a “black” project is worth it.

“We have to see this so Angela Bassett will get a job again!” I cried.

I don’t always make those sort of sacrifices. I hate almost all non-Denzel Washington vehicles on the big screen. Black comedies are often so lampoonish, borderline “coonish” that I just can’t watch them. The Wayans are hard enough on the senses. So while I probably won’t go see Tyler Perry’s “Meet the Browns” because I have a moratorium on “Black men in a dresses” films, I don’t hate Tyler Perry so much to not show pictures of really gorgeous black people attending the premiere of his film last night.

Shine, beautiful people! Shine!

Angela Bassett
It worked! My viewing of “White Chicks” didn’t go in vain! Angela works! Angela lives! And damn, Angela does not age! That’s ridiculous! In the last three pictures, Angela is with actor/ex-Laker Rick Fox and her husband, actor Courtney B. Vance.

Eva Pigford
I don’t get the Eva the Diva love, but I don’t get the hate either. She’s pretty. She’s harmless. If white Hollywood can have characters like Nikki Cox and Demi Moore who exist solely as gorgeous window dressing, why not Eva? That, and she’s working the shit out of that dress. I do not recommend that other women try to pull this off, but she looks stunning. (The last picture is of Eva and Tyler Perry)

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Random Bits of Hotness

Jill Marie Jones
Someone please give Toni Childs a job. I miss her so.

Jennifer Lewis
I won’t post the rest of your ugly-ass outfit out of respect of your face, which is sill very lovely.

Kenya Moore
Former Miss USA, I kind of lost a little respect for you after “Trois.” (Seriously, I didn’t get the hype about that movie, but considering Hollywood doesn’t do intriguing black sexual thrillers I guess it was filling a vacuum.)

Vanessa Williams
I’m a fan through and through. If there was a black Vanity Fair, she’d live on the cover twice a year. Of course if I did have a black version of Vanity Fair, I’d have to share some of those covers with Halle Berry and Beyonce, but it would be worth it.

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Terry Crews
Wow. I didn’t know Terry Crews was dating Jane Child! Is Terry’s love like a knife? Does he make the knife feel good? Are you scaring her to death now, baby? (I keed. I keed. Unless that is Jane Child. That would HILARIOUS! She was like the punk Tina Marie meets Taylor Dane.)

Tasha Smith (above) Tasha and Sidra Smith (below)
Sidra is rocking that bald fade. Not many women could pull that off and still look fierce. They’re both very beautiful women.

The Other Vanessa Williams, with Angela Bassett
She had the nerve to show up with Tasha Smith’s spiral curls. The Other Vanessa looks pretty fab, although I’m not feeling that black and white, Hawaiian flower, black lace topped dress.

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7 thoughts on “Vanity Fair: My Excuse to Show Pictures of Gorgeous Black People

  1. the women you mentioned are all fierce. i am glad to see no rihanna or ciaras on that list.@snob, if there was a black vanity fair, michelle obama would have more covers than the way kate moss covers british vogue.

  2. Yay! I love it when black folks get clean and step out. Can’t nobody do it quite like we does! Angela is the hsit. Period. It’s a sad day when Halle has an Oscar and not this lady.Eva = Nikki Cox. Ouch!I guess Terry took that ‘White Girls’ role to heart…

  3. aulelia: It would be my dream to create a black/mulitracial version of Vanity Fair. I love their combination of real journalism and gorgeous fantasy celebrity filled puff pieces. I just hate that it’s hard to find any blacks, Latinos, Asians or otherwise in that thing. Someday, you know? Someday. And I would have Michelle Obama all over it. And TJ Holmes. And Prince.And all my favorite broke Asian actors who also can’t get work. (Russell Wong, Margaret Cho, Ian Anthony Hale, Rick Yune, Parry Shen, Kal Penn, John Cho).Kal and John actually have a sequel to Harold and Kumar Goes to White Castle called Harold and Kumar Goes to Guantamano. I’m TOTALLY going to go see that.Maybe I’ll write Oprah. Convince her that black folks need a smart, high-end glossy where everyone gets to look glamorous and exciting all the time. Get her and Quincy to put up the dough, make it broad enough to appeal to a lot of people, even white people, but to make bougie black.GOD, that would be wonderful. It would be like Ebony, but not shitty!

  4. grown: Hey, Eva should be happy if she gets to a “Nikki Cox” level career. That heifer probably gets more work than Nia Long and Nia Long should have a Rachel McAdams or Laura Linney level of celebrity. She can actually act her way out of a paper bag. The only thing I’ve see of Eva’s acting was that one time she was on that dreaded Taye Diggs show (Gawd, I can’t stand him!) on UPN. She wasn’t horrible. But she wasn’t good either. That’s Nikki Cox. At least I didn’t rank her a Jenny McCarthy. That girl is stank-a-dank-dank-dank.

  5. Anonymous says:

    Angela Bassett is and always will be the bizness! Jill Marie looks very different here. And I too don’t think Eva is on Nikki Cox level either. Nikki can act way better than Eva. She sucked in Crossover, The Game and House of Payne. Her acting is just horrible. Beauty comes a dime a dozen in Hollyweird so she won’t be around much longer. The dress is nice but way too long. I’m a lil iffy about the chest part. Poor thing has no boobs. I love Jenifer Lewis and Kenya Moore is my girl!

  6. I freakin love your blog!! As a single black woman who’s obsessed with TJ Holmes as well, I definitely relate to your humor. Keep up the good work and check out my blog mahoganyglam.com

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