Black Don’t Crack: My Sheroes, entertainment edition


While you all know about my severe case of Michelle Obama fan girl wank, Michelle isn’t the only black woman I adore. Nope! The Snob is snobby for a lot of gorgeous black women who hold their head up high. Who are talented, beautiful and intelligent. Who when knocked down they get up a knock right back. Who are elegant and refined, but will still cut a bitch if they have to. As part of a new series, The Snob will be posting her fav five black women who throughly rock. This first edition is of underused black actress that rarely get to shine in the spotlight even though they’re the hottest thing poppin’ since chicken grease.

Vanessa L. Williams, Beauty Pageant Survivor

Pictured above, Vanessa Williams at the Beauty Ball for the March of Dimes and Williams at an Alzheimer’s benefit. (Wire Image)

First off. The bitch is fierce. Seriously. You don’t want to mess with ‘Nessa. Before Beyonce there was another big voiced, gorgeous chick in the game. A girl who had “The Right Stuff.” She is Vanessa Williams and she is the epitome of “The Awesome.” Carrying her head high, always matching her handbag with her shoes, she is a gorgeous triple-threat talent who can sing, dance and act. And like many black woman who have too much awesome Hollywood didn’t know what to do with her. Too much sexy! Too much fierce! Too hot to play the fuddy duddy sidekick, to talented to play the best friend of the white heroine. Not believable as ugly or down-trodden. And to proud to degrade herself in deeming roles.

Despite losing her first black Miss America crown due to some artsy nude pics, stops and starts in her acting career and two failed marriage to sorry ass men, Vanessa is a successful actress, singer and mother. She’s starred on Broadway. She “Saved the Best for Last.” And she is the best thing on “Ugly Betty” besides America Ferrera. If you don’t know ‘Nessa, you better get to know ‘Nessa. She’s our generation’s Lena Horne. If they ever make a bio-pic about her, I hope Vanessa will get to be the star.

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N’Bushe Wright, Unheralded Beauty

Top, N’Bushe Wright today. Below, N’Bushe Wright in the 90s, playing a black radical in “Dead Presidents”

If she were born in Africa about 2000 years ago the Pharaoh would have made her queen. With her distinct figures, high cheekbones and a pronounced, but high forehead, she is a beauty with talent to match.

I’ve always said the three most underused black women in Hollywood are Angela Bassett, Theresa Randall and N’Bushe Wright. I don’t know why N’Bushe isn’t bigger than she is. Maybe it’s because she’s not light skinned. It’s hard for a black woman in the business and it’s double hard if you don’t fit the Halle Berry standard. But N’Bushe is captivating when she gets a good role that really lets her loose. She’s one part Goddess and one p
art vulnerable, sensitive woman. And don’t care what anyone says, she should have gotten the part of “Storm” in the X-Men franchise. I guess we’ll always have “Fresh,” “Dead Presidents,” “Blade” and “New York Undercover” where we can look and wonder what might have been if Hollywood weren’t so bland and predictable.

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Maya Rudolph, The Funny Girl

Top, Maya Rudolph, Bottom, Donatella Versace and Maya Rudolph as Donatella on Saturday Night Live.

Maya Rudolph like many awesome women is a woman of many talents. She’s hilarious comic with excellent timing and for several years held down a spot on Saturday Night Live, a rare place for any black woman, even a biracial one. Maya could go from Whitney Houston to Donatella Versace to a quirky club music singer without a breath. But with Maya not on SNL anymore I don’t know how I’m going to get my weekly fix of R&B singer Minne Riperton’s gorgeous, funny daughter.

Once again like all me acting sheroes, Hollywood doesn’t know what to do with Maya. She’s chameleon with Barbara Streisand’s heft, but she doesn’t get the breaks she should. She has a role in the latest Sam Mendes film, a comedy she stars in with “The Office’s” John Krasinski and Cheryl Hines. Here’s to hoping that in 2009 when the film’s released will be the year of the Maya.

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Aisha Tyler, Miss Too Too Much

Aisha Tyler (Wire Image)

Everyone run! It’s a tall, gorgeous, intelligent, funny black woman! Don’t look at her! Don’t give her any roles!

Aisha Tyler, a comic who once said having a flat booty in the hood is a handicap, is my favorite female comic. Whether she was cracking jokes on her white husband for being white or breaking the “Friends” color barrier in its final season by pretending to be attracted to butt ugly David Schwimmer, she kills it every time. I’d love to be as statuesque as she is, and she must be pretty intimidating to the insecure being hot enough to be a model. While her roles are sometimes spotty (as much as I love her I could not bring myself to watch “Ghost Whisperer” when she was on it), she is starring an upcoming adaptation of a cr
ime novel, “Black Water Transit,” slated for release this year. I love crime dramas and this one involves illegal weapons running. I’ll likely check it out.

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Gina Torres will kick your ass

Above, a still from Gina Torres on the set of “Firefly.” Below, Gina Torres.

I can’t say this enough. Gina Torres is the shizznit. You just don’t want to fuck with her. She’s tall. She’s a stunner. She’s a mezzo soprano singer. She’s Cubano. She will cut a bitch if she has to. She made her big break in the crappiest of syndicated TV shows, “Cleopatra 2525.” She was the only thing worth watching on it, but it set off a career that has sent Gina to roles as cops, hostage negotiators, futuristic freedom fighters in the last two “Matrix” films and a sci-fi warrior woman of the wild, wild west in Joss Whedon’s cult hit/failed TV series “Firefly.”

She recently starred in “I Think I Love My Wife” as Chris Rock’s wife. While Gina’s too everything for Chris’s emaciated corpse of a body, she was grand nevertheless. And a woman as hardcore as Gina needs a hardcore man, that’s why when she’s not on the set she gets to cuddle up next to her hubby, “Morephus,” better known as versatile actor Laurence Fishbourne.

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Runner Ups: Lisa Bonet, Angela Bassett, Theresa Randall, Rachel True, Golden Brooks, Jill Marie Jones, Jasmine Guy, Jada Pinkett Smith, Michael Michelle, Persia White, Sanaa Lathan, Robin Givins, Salli Richardson, Sophina Brown, Tamara Taylor, Tamara Tunie, Victoria Rowell, Tracie Thoms and Wendy Raquel Robinson

9 thoughts on “Black Don’t Crack: My Sheroes, entertainment edition

  1. Oh… this series is great news, black snob. I love this! We just don’t see enough of our “she-roes” in the media.

  2. Ms Black Snob: you didn’t miss much with Ghost Whisperer, Aisha wa the only bright spot. Note to Gina Torres: I understand you’d like to work more often. We certainly would like to see you more often, but don’t get greedy girl. You got looks, talent AND Laurence Fishbourne.

  3. Yeah, I read an article around the time when Halle was up for the Oscar where N’Bushe talked about the part being written for her and she being into the role, but the nudity? Not so much. When she wanted to dial it back a notch, they dialed her right out of the picture.She’s definitely the stronger actress of the two, but I’d say that against Halle Berry and almost every black actress in Hollywood, save maybe Eve and Beyonce. But they both started out in the recording industry so they at least have an excuse as to why they’re so stiff.

  4. Great choices. One issue: Queen Angela Bassett can never be a runner up in anything LOL :)She is always a winner & a stunner.

  5. I loved Tracie Thoms in Death Proof. She put tire marks on and footprints all up in Kurt Russell’s character’s boo-tay!!!I get my Salli Richardson fix while watching Eureka on Sci-Fi. She’s awesome in that.

  6. There are several aspects in the problem. The stars sometiomes look aweful due to the following reasons, I think:1. they lack the sense of taste2. they are paid big money to wear all these clothes3.they do it on purpose to shock the public and make people talk about them (bad impressions live longer)4. they just don’t care, they are wealthy, healthy and happy, and don’t care what we think about them

  7. Hi, I'm a Gina Torres fan here and "Cleopatra 2525" was not her debut. Check out her IMDB page and you will see she had reoccurring roles in many series, enough to make her apart of the cast. I still remember her from "Hercules" and "Xena Warrior Princess" but again I am a fan. She also was a character on "One Life to Live" the daytime drama. She gets WORK, she never disappeared. She does voice over work, she does independent movies, and is still in TV series now. Check out the show "Suits", there aren't ANY gaps in her resume. Also Aisha Tyler voices a character on the animated series "Archer", again no gaps in her resume. Check them out since you like them.

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