And the “Can’t Keep It In the Pants” Award today goes to …

Now updated!! See below.

Gov. Eliot Spitzer, with his wife, Silda, made a statement to the news media on Monday. (Patrick Andrade for The New York Times)

This guy. Sad really. Just sad. It’s like he was jealous of all the Republicans having the wacky perverted fun. Out of the way Larry Craig and David Vitter, Spitsy-Spits has gots tah get his swerve on!

Keep it in the pants, fellas. Seriously.

Or at least be more discriminating about who you do the bump with.

On top of all that, on the arrest warrant associated with the case a defended is listed by the name of one Temeka Rachelle Lewis. She is accused of all sorts of harlotry along two fellas. Thanks to Snob reader Charles D. who sent me info on the warrant, we were able to do some racial CSI speculating based on nothing but Ms. Lewis’ Christian name and have thus deduced that she is likely of some black American origin or, perhaps, a white woman raised by a black family who chose to name her something no white family would ever think of naming their child.

I told Charles D. what I’m telling you now, “Why, Lord? Why? Wasn’t Divine Brown enough of a scourge?”

Side note: I actually wrote a song about Divine Brown in reference to our obsession with celebrity gossip. The chorus went something to the effect of, “and we’re all going down like our names were Divine Brown.” Catchy!

Update/Side note II: It appears the black race may be suffering only a minuscule embarrassment in the Spitzer sex-with-really-expensive-hookers scandal. Rachelle appears to be but a mere “booker,” a 23-year-old just tryin’ to make a living by helping her employers arrange the transactions between hookers, johns and funds. Per The Smoking Gun’s document sharing, she’s apparently the Secretary of High Class Hookertown, not the proprietor or stunt. I’m assuming she’s not someone’s pay-for-play jump off because … they don’t pay $5,500 to do the nasty with sisters. I’ve never known whether to be insulted or relieved by this statistic, but it’s a reality in high class hooker world, the pretty but brown need not apply.

7 thoughts on “And the “Can’t Keep It In the Pants” Award today goes to …

  1. Oh nooooooooo…a Christian middle name: what is the world coming to? One wonders what would have happened if her name was Temeka X.

  2. I just updated the site and added that we Negroes can breath a sigh of relief. Miss Tameka Rachelle was the hooker booker, not an actual hooker. She played the secretary of these wealthy pimps. She’s only 23, so I hope she got a lot of money arranging those dates. She’s going to need it for an attorney. But knowing us she probably just wasted it all on Apple Bottoms, Alize and acrylic fingernails.But I bet her weave is tight tho’. It is probably the bangin’est weave in all of New York State. And her 1998 Honda Civic is prolly all pimped out too. And any day now she’s going to go back to Harvard and get that law degree, fo’ reals this time!Maybe she’ll get a book deal out of this? She can’t be worse than Karrine Steffans.

  3. 23-year-old just tryin’ to make a living by helping her employers arrange the transactions between hookers, johns and funds.I’m glad blacksnob cleared that up. Hope they don’t try to pin it all on the clerks. Charles D.

  4. At the very least she gets a book deal. One would suppose that the hooker booker makes considerably less than the hooker. So it may be a book deal now, or the public defender.

  5. Thanks for clearing this up; but I think Miss Rachelle will have to get her own attorney; because she could make or break this case.

  6. Damn. Why she got to be the secretary? Can’t a sister come up in the world of high-class hooking…The man is always trying to keep us down.

  7. grown: I KNOW! It’s vulgar, yeah, but for $4,300 a triple-X throw down! That’s a pretty nice upgrade along the sex worker continuum. At that rate you aren’t even a victim anymore. You’re an entrepreneur. I’m not saying the white man should bring back the quadroon and octaroon balls or anything, but it would different for a sister to be pulling down that kind of scratch for just getting kinky with governors for an hour or two.

Leave a Reply

Back to top
%d bloggers like this: