OMG!!!!! (With second-thoughts update!)

The press is going to stop beating up on Michelle Obama about being opinionated because the New York Times sez McCain was lovin’ some lady lobbyist and hookin’ her clients up to the Federal feed bag!

Thank you, John McCain and some easy-lovin’ lobbyist! Think of all the people you’ve made happy!

You’ve knocked both Hillary’s loses and Michelle’s alleged gaffe off the news. Huckabee is rubbing his hands with glee going, “I knew it! I knew he couldn’t keep it in the pants!” You have Bill Clinton enjoying some of that sweet, sweet schadenfreude that eluded him in the ’90s. Mitt Romney and NYC Mayor Mike Bloomberg will be meeting with their advisers preparing to launch or relaunch campaigns. Rudy Giuliani will be polishing off his one delegate and preparing to take it to the convention. Ron Paul’s supporters will continue their Banzai charge. Rush Limbaugh and Ann Coulter and Sean Hannity can continue to smoke whatever the hell they like to smoke and scream really loud into microphones crowing, “See? See! This is why he’s a bad idea!” You’ve assuaged the fears of Howard Dean who now had a shot to actually get the Dem. race settled and watch the Republicans open up into a bloody bath for their nomination on live television.

Or … worse comes to worse, we’ll have two divisive, murderous conventions!

For the few out there who are not paying attention, “how can you NOT be following politics right now?” The politics are ALIVE! It’s like the TV show “Dallas” on steroids mixed up with the films “Inherit the Wind,” “MacBeth” and “The Greatest” starring casts of thousands. We’ve got the first of everything trying to get to the highest office in the land. And we have all the issues that Americans have been fighting about since there has been an America — race, gender, class, religion, monarchy and dynasty, church vs state, all in a battle royal flavored, red, white & blue smoothie.

And I have drank that smoothie and that smoothie was …. delicious.

Thank you, John McCain, and thank you, Cialis, for possibly making this possible!

UPDATE: You know, now that I’ve read the story, I’m kind of underwhelmed. It’s all stale and happened in 1999. But I know that won’t stop the press who love a good sex story and if they can’t get it in a Clinton-shaped wrapper, McCain’ll do. (MSNBC actually broke into their afternoon replay of “Hardball” so Keith Olbermann could go live with it.) That one caveat taken, everything else I wrote above still applies. Irregardless of this geriatric political sexcapade’s blandness all players involved will still act like this is the biggest political infidelity since Larry Craig tap danced in a men’s bathroom stall with a prudish undercover “little boy’s room” cop.

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