Uncategorized

Not you Kimora!


Some readers of The Black Snob may notice that I have an obsession with my not-black-black-peoples. NBBP (pronounced N-double-B-P) is my term for biracial or multiracial people with a dollop of blackness in their family history.

These folks are usually people who others don’t realize are part black. But while some biracial people take on the black union label (Barack Obama, Halle Berry) others prefer to either be recognized as multiracial or non-racial (Tiger Woods, Mariah Carey). I’m fine with that. I feel people should be able to define themselves. So the least offensive way I could come up with to describe my fellow coloreds was “not-black-black-people.”

And one of my favorite NBBPs is my tackylicious Florissant, Mo. homegirl, ex-fashion model, weed aficionado, business woman and professional digger of gold — Kimora Lee Simmons.

And now, after taking Jada Pinkett Smith and her slightly dull husband, Will, the Scientologists have come for my crazy Kimora.

Nooooooo!

Courtesy of Young Black and Fabulous:

So….Kimora and Djimon are the new Tom and Katie? Those Scientologists strike again. And is that an engagement ring KiKi?? I know you wouldn’t wear your wedding ring from your last marriage while you’re dating a new man. And suspiciously hold up that hand only in damn ear every pic from the Baby Phat after party this weekend. How interesting….

Not my Kimora, lover of gold everything, crazy representative of ridiculously fabulous tall black/Asian women. Owner of Baby Phat, the most garish of all the hip hop fashion lines, Kimora is the princess of priss and self-described “fabulosity.” And she really likes making up words and being rich. She can be a bit much at times. Yet despite her crippling case of Privileged Heifer Disorder (PHD), I loved her. She was feisty and who doesn’t like a feisty ex-gold digger?

What? No one?

Screw all of you! I love my tacky Kimora and I’m at a lost to why, oh why Jesus, did you allow her to be taken in by the Cult of Celebrity? Anyone but Kimora! Take Lil’ Kim or Devon Akoi or Bai Ling. Not Kimora! They’re going to use her to hawk books to young inner city kids! It’s a conspiracy to spread the Xenu believers into the heart of the black community.

And the Scientologists took Djimon Hounsou too. Now they’re just asking for me to punch somebody. Also, YBF is speculating that he and Kimora might be engaged. (What is Kimora trying to pull? Her own version of Seal and Heidi “All Day I Dream About Sex with Seal” Klum?)

I just don’t understand. How could you fall for a narcissistic faith based on a book written by a hacky science fiction novelist?

Wait. Did I say narcissistic in relation with Kimora?

Never mind!

Standard

3 thoughts on “Not you Kimora!

  1. I need to send out a memo: NEGROES ARE SUPPOSED TO BE BAPTIST. And if you’re a rebel, you may also be Methodist or Pentecostal. Those are your choices.

Leave a Reply