Money Bombs and the Immaculate Election


Did you hear the one about Barack Obama pulling down a shit-load of money after Super Tuesday?

Hillary recently had to loan herself $5 million duckets, which is a big deal considering she and Bill are rich, but not loan yourself $5 million for your sputtering campaign rich.

While the Hillster pulled down $100 million last year, her ace political adviser Mark Penn is pulling down $4.3 million right out of Clinton’s pockets. (And she should totally ask for her money back. He fucked her up big time.) While she’s also raised some money since Super Tuesday about $7 million herself, she’s in “big shit trouble” as Papa Snob would say.

You see, Clinton thought she’d have the nomination wrapped up by Feb. 5th, so she blew a lot of money early on trying to throw some dirt on Barack Obama’s halo. Didn’t work, but nice effort. And then Super Tuesday she was stuck trying to spin a virtual tie into a good thing. Which is absurd considering that few pundits or politicians were sure if Obama could carry any states anywhere in the continental US.

The Chosen One

Speaking of Barack Obama’s halo, I was watching the news last night and heard Obama responding to critics who say he’ll get “Swift Boated” by the Republicans come fall. He reinterated that he, presently, is up against one of the greatest political machines in the Democratic Party and they haven’t been able to muster up jack. If there was something to be found, they would have found it by now, was Obama’s gist.

He’s right to one extent. If there were dirt on him, the Clintons would have run with it immediately after Iowa when they woke up and smelled the threat coming. But save that whole Rezko fiasco (which I think was more of a rookie mistake than actual corruption), I don’t think Obama has been in politics long enough to be tied to a ton of special interests and dicey relationships. Obama’s not hanging out with Bob Johnson after all. He got the respectable black billionaire. Not the one that makes you want to take a shower with Brillo pads and a can of Comet cleanser.

But to correct Obama, the Republicans who’ve attacked everyone from the Clintons to Max Cleland aren’t known for beating you up with shit you actually did. I mean, they will use that if it’s available, but their most deadly attacks have come when they just make shit up.

The Clintons can’t afford to go nuclear on Obama because if they did they’d move from vaguely bigoted to vile, mean-spirited racists. The Dems don’t reward anything that even whiffs of racism, real or implied, so the Clintons have to do their attack then pull back thing and see if anything worked.

The Republicans will not do this. They prefer the ol’ “punch somebody in the mouth” technique, also known as “The Michael Strahan Method.”

The best Obama can hope for is that most Republicans will be so dejected over McCain being the nominee that they won’t be able to muster up the full scale slander campaign they usually apply to their opponents. But eventually the Republicans will get up enough piss n’ vinegar to take the “Obama = Osama,” radical socialist Jhadi, Madrassa, Islamo-fascist hate train right through middle America in an effort to scare the white folks off Obama.

They’ll be playing pictures of tribe-on-tribe, machete violence in Kenya before they’re done with it, trying to imply that since Barack is half-Kenyan his Democratic rule will cause the United States to fall into a failed state, an east-African style dystopia with child soldiers and Nancy Pelosi as Idi Amin turning Congress into a kleptocracy while watching DC burn.

Barack Obama is the closest thing to a Democratic Immaculate Election as we can get in a politician. He’s smart, principled and has not been sold out and is relatively corruption free. But considering they still killed Jesus despite the whole “God’s only son” thing, Obama and his supporters should be prepared for the shit to hit the fan.

Even if the shit is a pack of lies.

One thought on “Money Bombs and the Immaculate Election

  1. I’m sure he is well aware of what will happen to him. Obama came to play and he knows he’s going to get served up some really nasty shit quick, fast and in a hurry.Then we’ll really see whether he can be The Big Boss.

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