O Rly? You have balls now? I thought Rush Limbaughsauted your balls and served them with a fine Chianti and a side of asparagus. Did someone loan you a pair? And if so, when JC Watts asks for his cajones back won't you just bend over and fold again?
But I'm game. Let's entertain your latest foray into Big Bad Brown mode. Wow me and the "O RLY" owl. Here we are now. Entertain us.
NPR.org,October 24, 2007 - The horns slide down a chromatic run, all sad and blue. It sounds as if "100 Days, 100 Nights" will be a downer — like the band is going to launch into "The Volga Boat Song" or something. Then in jumps Sharon Jones, queen of retro funk, who was once told that she was too short and too dark-skinned to be a star, but kept on singing anyway. The tempo quickens, and the gut-wrenching force of her voice wipes away the sorrowful intro.
Every time I heard someone talk about President Barack Obama's First 100 Days and how he was either going too fast or too slow, doing too little or not doing enough, being over-exposed to not transparent, being too specific to too obtuse, being ambitious to being pedestrian I thought of the title to an adolescent novel I read in high school, "I Never Promised You A Rose Garden."
Some would argue that Obama did promise a rose garden of changes on the campaign trail in the soaring rhetoric of his speeches that left so many slack jawed in awe, but every promise and vow was contingent on a system designed for debate and dissent. You can be "the one you are waiting for" but if House Speaker Nancy Pelosi didn't quite take the same "lobbyist = bad" and fewer earmarks pledge you're going to run up against some ambition opposition.
Dogs bark. Trees grow. Democrats fight. They've always fought. That's why despite the common conservative criticism of the Democrats not living up to their "Democratic" title, they're actually quite Democratic in you can be completely dismissive of the president even if he's from your own party and go down fighting and obfuscating the whole way. While Obama promised to bring change to Washington, I don't recall the Congressional Democrats running on any agenda other than their theme "Stop hurting America! Elect more Democrats!" But while this may surprise some, but I actually PREFER this.
But I was so looking forward to being pandered to in all the wrong way!
Speaking to the Maryland radio station WBAL, Steele said that "no one individual" was head of the party and described his comments downplaying Limbaugh's show and influence as inartful. He added that if Republicans wanted to ascend back to the heights of political power, they had to stop trying to be "cool and hip in a Democrat way," and admit their past mistakes. (Emphasis mine)
What? No more slang? No more hip, cool, rap, dope, chill things to do? And Democrats are hip and cool? Really? I had no idea Nancy Pelosi and Harry Reid were what's hot in the streets? Does Howard Dean get "jiggy?" Who's the illest, Steele? Which Dem is the illest?
Err. None of them. They're politicians. The President and his own personal, executive "Get Fresh Crew" are cool in more of a nerdy, brainiac, "black Ivy-League elite" Rat Pack way, than Executive Branch: Electric Bugaloo. But, whatever. Because you're incapable of making anything better, you moved from saying "hip hop till you don't stop" to equating the Republicans with alcoholics.
As in, I'm starting to find Michael Steele's "charm" offensive.
It's not that Michael's a bad guy. Gosh no. He seems just swell, but for some perverse reason (obviously I must hate myself), I wound up watching D.L. Hughley attempt to chat with Steele and Chuck D. on CNN Sunday night.
I saw "attempt" because Hughley is:
A) Not a journalist (Saying the RNC convention looked "like Nazi Germany?" Really? I was thinking more of a Kiwanis Club, the Forbes 500, a Promise Keepers Convention or a Stone Cutters reunion. Don't make me agree withNews Busters.)
B) Should not be asking anyone questions of any kind
That out of the way though, I've watched Michael in his efforts to re-brand the RNC and ... sigh, this may be the ONLY time that I ever say this in the history of mankind but ... Rush Limbaugh is right when he says your job is to figure out HOW to get Republicans elected, not go on a lengthy media "Award Tour" where you attempt to do battle with the likes of Chuck D (like stating that Chuck was from the projects when Chuck CLARIFIED that he was from Long Island and Steele had fallen into the trap of assuming all rappers come from horrid circumstances).
Of course Rush, being an asshole, didn't quite put it that elegantly or politely and made a lot of gross generalizations because ... like D.L. Hughley, he has no business being any kind of serious journalist.
You have to be mindful of your first impression. It could be your last.
Louisiana Gov. Bobby Jindal got a prime spot Tuesday night, giving the GOP rebuttal to President Barack Obama's speech. By now, we all know how that turned out.
Obama gave a tough, but hopeful speech that was critically praised by many. The biggest criticism I could find from the opposition party was that it was more big government talk (so sez The Hammer: "The most irresponsible, hypocritical speech I have ever witnessed!"), but that was about it. When you’re good, you’re good.
Then it was Jindal's turn.
A lot of people would have killed for Jindal's spot. Namely former Mass. Gov. Mitt "Mittens" Romney (who ran for president and failed) or Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin (who ran for veep and failed). The Republicans have been trotting out lots of shiny new potentials, all hoping one will capture our imaginations as the next big something or other. Who would get to glisten like a diamond after Our Fair Hopey brought down the house with his usual rousing oratorical?
“We want to convey that the modern-day G.O.P. looks like the conservative party that stands on principles,” Mr. Steele said. “But we want to apply them to urban-suburban hip-hop settings.”
And Mr. Steele, isn’t leaving anyone out, including, he joked, “one-armed midgets.”
Though the newspaper reported that Mr. Steele declined to offer specifics, he plans to put together a public relations team to give the Republican Party the equivalent of an extreme makeover. It’s part of a larger overhaul of the committee that he set in motion several weeks ago.
The new re-branding effort he said, “will be avant garde, technically. It will come to table with things that will surprise everyone — off the hook.”
OMG! Be still my heart! I think I just found comedy heaven!
Former Mass. Governor and presidential candidate Mitt Romney.Long-time readers know I have a fascination with all things Mitt Romney -- The Snob's, and oddly, Ann Coulter's choice for Republican nominee for president last year. (He would have lost too. Possibly even worse than McCain, but I think Ann and I wanted dear Willard for entirely different reasons.) Now my fair Mittens, aka "Guy Smiley," has been hit hard by the recession.
This week on "The Perils of Sarah Palin," Alaska governor, veepstakes loser Sarah Palin continued jumping in front of microphones and cameras and saying things that never needed to be said for ... I don't know ... the amusement of schadenfreude loving Liberals? Late night comics? Evil Keith Olbermann? Why is she talking again? (And why is Joe the Not Plumber going to Israel to cover the bloodbath in Gaza?)
Mike Paul, Republican strategist, tells Pat Buchanan, unapologetic bastard, that the Republicans need to be a "big tent party" and reach out to the young, women and minorities. Pat's all, "Um ... no." Then has a good laugh about it, doing his best to frustrate, confound and infuriate Paul, who (naturally) wishes there would be more than just him, Condi Rice, Michael Steele and Ron Christie at the holiday party. Pat is Pat and Paul takes offense. Insanity ensues and this time Chris Matthews didn't have to do any heavy lifting. I can't believe I forgot to post this last week!
Pat, who I "lovingly" call "The Bigot," is notorious for not putting up any happy-talk when it comes to doing anything different from what they did in the Nixon Administration to get some black votes. Pat's of the mind that if you can get your 12 to 20 percent, great. If you can't, who cares? Why is he going to waste time winning over people he either:
A) Believes cannot be won over
B) Doesn't want anyway
Pat all but told Paul, "Vote Republican! That's great! Convince your friends and family! Go do that! Me? Me? I'm doing what I've always done. Jack shit. Because I don't give a shit. No sir. I do not!"
What's "sad" is some ... er ... ill-informed conservatives have bashed Paul on the blogosphere for this above sparring with Buchanan, accusing him of supporting Barack Obama. I'm going to assume they based that on pigmentation only because between Paul, Ron Christie and Amy Holmes, I don't know who was tripping over their feet the hardest to explain why electing Barack Obama would be a nightmare. I almost wanted to comment and defend Paul, then I remembered how I couldn't stand him and stopped myself. "What am I doing!" I said as I started to type.
But, you know, I care. Even when I don't agree. I care ... about keeping the record straight. Besides, I don't want them putting Mike Paul and The Snob on the same team.
PS. I'm still on vacation! Complain all you want, but Mariah and Nick will still be there until next Monday (because I wrote all the items two weeks in advance)!
Tuesday, May 19, 2009 at 4:35PM
First he said he would fight anyone who would try to limit his powers as RNC chairman. Then The Washington Times reported that he was cool with the opposition yanking the purse strings. Now he's all Hi-C rapping "I'm Not Your Puppet."
