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Entries in Republicans (189)

Wednesday
Oct192011

Herman Cain Would Like To Clarify Everything While Mitt Romney Gets Testy (Video)

Heavy is the head that wears the front-runner crown. And the Godfather of Pizza Herman Cain is getting a taste of that good ol' fashion "vetting" process you get when they finally move you to the front of the line. People mock you. They come after you. They tell you your 9-9-9 Plan is hated by Anti-tax fetishist Grover Norquist. It's not pretty. Of course, Mittens knows the deal. He's been getting it from day one, even though -- technically -- no one wants him to be president. Both participated in Fall's worst new program, "Survivor: Rich White Man Edition, featuring The Black Pizza Guy and The Lady Person," as CNN hosted the 1,333rd GOP debate this year.

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Monday
Oct172011

CNN Says Herman Cain, Mitt Romney Tied for First

How much do Republicans hate the Mormon Ned Flanders? Apparently enough that they're willing to pretend like they'll vote for Herman Cain if it can scare another more viable Republican (any Republican, really) to hop in the race. Unfortunately, I don't know who that would be, since nobody wants this horrible job, and we're less than three months away from the first primary.

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Thursday
Oct132011

Bachmann Turns My 9-9-9 Plan Joke Into 6-6-6 Reality For Herman Cain

Presidential wannabe Michele Bachmann "went there" during Tuesday's Bloomberg News debate when she hinted at Herman Cain's "9-9-9" plan's possible demonic leanings. A while back, I joked that Cain, being a man of faith, had made a misstep in going with a name that could easily freak out "End Times" enthusists. Quote (myself): "Herman Cain said some stuff about how we should be more like Chile, compared taxes to tithing and said something-something 9-9-9 plan. Which seems like a naming fluke for Cain. Too easy to flip those 9s to 6s and have wingnuts accuse Cain of having the "mark of the beast." His name is already Cain, who as we all know from the TV show Superbook was the world's first murderer." So you know what this means, right? Michele Bachmann: Secret BlackSnob.com reader. (Gawker)