GOP Performs Autopsy On Ailing Political Body

Head of the Republican National Committee, Reince Priebus talks about the GOP's report on CBS's "Face the Nation."In the new "autopsy" report, (called the "Growth and Opportunity Report) is out! Re-published by Politico, the GOP outlines what they need to do to get out of their rut of losing presidential elections. Highlights: endorsing comprehensive immigration reform, a $10 million outreach effort for minority communities, reforming its digital operations and making the GOP presidential primary process shorter and having their nominating convention sooner.

Because this report is long and you probably don't want to read it, I'm going to break it down for you with some highlights and commentary. Giving you only what you need to know about what the GOP thinks it's doing wrong to get your vote.

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The New Republic Breaks Down How the GOP Doubled-Down on Whiteness

The best retort critics could come up with was "you do it too."

That was the slam after The New Republic published its piece "Original Sin: Why the GOP is and will continue to be the party of white people." Conservatives quickly googled Wikipedia, and pointed out how lacking in a tan The New Republic's staff is, failing to grasp that The New Republic (while could benefit from diversity) is not one of two national political parties that takes turns in writing, executing and judging our laws.

I'm going to go out on a limb and say the GOP might be a bit more important and powerful than a magazine. I can't think of the last time TNR did something that determined what military contracts we might purchase and how much interest the government will have in my womb year-to-year.

As Dylan Byers writes at Politico: "Should TNR diversify its offices? That's up to them. But for the GOP, it isn't a case of should or shouldn't. It's a case of must."

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Nobody Is Over Anything Ever: Rielle Hunter, Joe Williams Edition

Going all "Kill Bill" on everyone when in crisis might seem like a good idea at the time, but rarely does such a defense work out in the world of media."I'm over it," is supposed to end a conversation. It sounds definitive, after all. Something you did or was done to you caused the kind of ire that makes you forget the universe is largely indifferent to our squabbles and everything is going to look a lot dimmer in the rear view mirror of time. You announce all mature and adult-like in the way you think movie stars and sociopaths do that you are "over it." That "it" whatever "it" is done and no longer part of your life and you no longer drive past "it's" house on Thursday evenings just to see if "it's" home. Because it's dead, done and buried, and it won't trouble you anymore. Which, OK, I suppose maybe for about (I'll be generous) 20 percent of the population this is true.

But it's not that simple. It's never that simple. For the rest of us, nobody is over anything. Ever.

Case in point: John Edwards' delusional former mistress and mother of his youngest child, Rielle Hunter and recently ousted White House correspondent for Politico, Joe Williams.

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GOP Establishment Realizes Hurricane Newt Is Coming For Landfall

There's another GOP debate tonight! Batter the hatches! 

They thought he was dead. They thought they killed him in Iowa. They thought wrong. Newt Gingrich is back, baby! And like the awful B-Movie he is, he's out for revenge. At first it was just about teaching that damn Mittens a lesson, but the Newtster messed around and race-baited his way into a South Carolina primary win. Then Mittens lost Iowa several weeks after winning it. And now it's all come up Gingrich. Even an old sex scandal couldn't stop him. He just kept swinging and won't go down.

If I didn't find the man completely repugnant I'd almost admire his audacity.

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For Halloween, Ghosts of Sexual Harassment Haunt Herman Cain

Herman Cain spent all of Halloween Monday rearranging the deck chairs on his unsinkable disaster presidential campaign after Politico ran a story on Cain being accused of sexual harassment during his tenure with the National Restaurant Association.

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The Great Sarah Palin Freakout

It's spreading! Republicans now have it too! Politico is reporting that some Republicans really, with cream and sugar on top pretty pretty please, don't want her to run for President in 2012. She's said she'll run if no one sufficiently conservative enough for her runs. Which, you know? That rules out almost all Republican 2012 hopefuls. My beloved Mittens "Mitt" Romney, after all, did invent that dreaded "Obamacare." And even though I think Sarah would be much happier commenting on FOX News, reaping in lush speaker's fees, effing up statewide elections by endorsing Tea Party candidates, "writing" books and just being famous for fame's sake ... she still might want to be President.

More after the jump.

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Did Bill Clinton Ask Meek To Step Out Senate Race?

Politico is reporting that former President Bill Clinton tried to convince Democratic Senate candidate Kendrick Meek to step down from his Florida race to create a clearer path for former Florida Governor Charlie Crist. A former Republican, Crist is currently running as an Independent. According to the story, Clinton was able to convince Meek to step down, but that the candidate later changed his mind. Meek's camp claims there was never a deal on the table for him to step down. Either way, having this news break has to be devastating for Meek's campaign. He is currently running third in the race.

More after the jump.

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It's Protest Season In Washington, D.C. Who's Up For A Tea Party?

Wait? What? You say the party doesn't involve me and a bunch of Cabbage Patch Dolls and some My Little Ponies wearing a frou-frou dress and sipping Earl Grey while snacking on macaroons? You lie, sir! You LIE!

From Politico:

Thousands of tea party activists descended on Washington Thursday to air a variety of demands – from the repeal of new health care legislation to the abolition of the Internal Revenue Service and a taxation system they say punishes initiative, to a fuller embrace of Israel – even as organizers encouraged them to unite and shift their focus toward the 2010 congressional elections.

“It is great that we all come together and have these rallies,” Amy Kremer of the Tea Party Express told a crowd of several thousand protestors gathered under a warm midday sun on Freedom Plaza a few blocks from the White House.

Oh. It was THAT kind of Tea Party! I don't like those. I don't think that's the sort of place a nice, nerdy, snobby, "Librul" black girl goes. (Or any kind of black person for that matter.) Papa Snob loves to watch the CNN and try to pick out the black person at the Tea Party. (He also plays this game while watching the Cardinals play at Busch Stadium and ... well ... he does this everywhere actually. It amuses him.) So far the only black Tea Partiers of note I can think of was that crazy dude in St. Louis who claimed some Obama supporters beat him senseless (when they didn't) and that guy who brought the gun to the Obama rally. So black Tea Partiers are a real thing, but rare, like a wild tiger in India or chupacabra. I've never met one, but I've HEARD of them. Represent, you crazy diamonds!

More after the jump.

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Obama's Nobel Toast (Via Politico)