Meanwhile, In A Macon, Ga. Underground Bunker ...

Macon, Ga. secret home of underground organization "The Secret Council of American Negroes." (Photo via Wikipedia)

SETTING: The underground office of the mysterious HNIC, the enigmatic leader of legendary, underground pro-black organization, The Secret Council of American Negroes, aka "SCAN." Founded by Frederick Douglass and Harriet Tubman in 1865, SCAN is a secret organization that is actually behind ever black advancement in the history of America. Voting Rights Act of 1964? That was SCAN. Michael Jackson? SCAN engineered him in their research labs. Black man in space? SCAN. Oprah? SCAN. The Jolie-Pitts moving to New Orleans to build houses after Katrina? We got a kid on that. Operation Real David Palmer, aka "The Election of Barack Obama." Who do you think? Halle Berry's Oscar for "Monster's Ball." C'mon. She's not that good. SCAN, baby. SCAN. We're everywhere. We're the organization your white friends keep asking about. We set the standard. Expect us, baby. EXPECT US. 

Right after we wake up from this nap ...

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"White People Are Back!" And Other Moments From Hardcore Paul Ryan Rap (Video)

He's like Ron Paul meets Ryan Seacrest, but with a lot more "m-fers." Yet, even in all this Beastie Boys-esque Ryan P90Sex braggadocio, my favorite part is the cluelessness of fake Mitt Romney who kind of plops around like the floppy android he is. Second best line (after "White people are back") is "Screw the sick and the poor like Jesus said ... if he had lived to read 'The Fountainhead.'"

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Video: Will The Real Mitt Romney Please Stand Up?

Greatest political video rap mash-up ever. Flawless. I'm off now to find out if creator Hugh Atkin is going to release this on mp3.

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Video: "Political Wife" Is A Nasty Ode To Power

In the description of this video on YouTube the folks at Political Subversities write "Power is the ultimate aphrodisiac." They ain't neva lied. Singing about the downside of being the spouse of a high powered political figure, the NYC comedy group has created a ballad that is catchy while explaining why so many political spouses don't leave, even when the going gets darn awful. Now, lemme go Windex that glass ceiling for that First Lady feeling 'cause I wanna get in that sorority of Michelle Obama-toned-arm-candy. (YouTube)

Video: Try Not to Die of Dysentery On This Oregon Trail (Satire)

First off, it really helps if you're in your 30s or late 20s and went to a public school with a computer lab to get this particular joke. And if you did, and it was an American public school filled Apple II computers, and you had teachers who desperately wanted a cigarette break, you played the old educational video game "Oregon Trail." I played it, obsessively, both at school and on my family's old Commodore 64 computer back in the 80s. You don't learn anything by playing it, accept what you should put on your Tombstone. The answer is always pepperoni and cheese. It's really the only thing this parody video gets wrong. So let's get out of Independence, Mo. with nothing but a box of bullets and die from snake bites! (YouTube)

Newark State of Mind Is Kind of Offensive But I Laughed Anyway

Mostly because it reminded me of every dying industrial city in the United States, especially the ones in my native Midwest. I mean, seriously, you could have sung "Sure is a nice place to visit if you're a bullet" about anywhere from St. Louis, East St. Louis, Fresno, Calif. to Gary, Indiana. And I've been so miserable the last two days that even though this song is "technically" also dark and depressing it's dark and depressing in a "ha ha funny" kind of way. Stick around for Fake Alicia Keys singing at the end a line that sounded eerily like my experience of living near a transient motel in Bakersfield, Calif. Yay for being broke and living in crappy places! I'm so glad I moved. "Welcome to hell, baby!" "City so depressing, it should slip you a Zoloft!"

Seriously. I could quote this song all day. And I have been, because I'm miserable. Someone send me some pictures of LOLcats to cheer me up.