Mitt Romney Can See Clearly Now That the Rick Santorum Rain Is Gone

Glorious day! Mitt "Mittens" Romney has bounded from his winter dwelling and into springtime's nomination meadow. His old, thick winter hair coat now shed, and now the candidate is sporting a shorter, shiner new thicket of Ken doll like hair. But what has brought the rose back to his robotic cheeks? What has returned the dew to his eyes designed by a genetic lab in the basement of Monsanto?

Is it? Can it? Dare it be true?

DING-DONG THE SANTORUM IS DEAD!

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