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Entries in Mitt Romney (61)

Wednesday
Aug072013

Now That He's Not Running For President Anymore Romney Catches Clue

 

 

Oh, Mittens! You say the darndest things! Next thing you know you'll be talking about spreading the wealth around you former presidential candidate you.
Monday
Nov052012

Clutch Magazine: Let's Get This Over With, Re-Elect Obama 2012

When I'm not working on a TV show, I'm still writing columns for Clutch and I'm beat, man. Straight up just beat ... down over election 2012. I'm ready to get this over with, aren't you? I wrote: "President Obama is flawed. He’s not your personal savior or unicorn. If anything, I think he actually has a lot more in common with his more starry-eyed supporters in 2008 because he really did think he could just show up in Washington talking all measured, positive and rational and change the game. But politics is a disease that has no desire of being cured. This is why a true, feral political animal like Bill Clinton thrived so well in that putrid swamp of double-speak and lies. President Obama doesn’t really want that stink on him, but hey, buddy, are we going to do this or what?"

So go vote. Vote. Please. Just do it, OK? I'm begging you. Sweet Lord. Take some personal agency this election season. If only so you can put up your "Don't Blame Me, I Voted For Kodos" sticker. Some bet on the numbers, bet on dice, bet on NFL football, bet on craps, bet on Vegas -- I'm betting on my vote counting. I hope you're betting on yours.

Read the full post on Clutch Magazine Online here.

More after the jump.

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Monday
Aug272012

"White People Are Back!" And Other Moments From Hardcore Paul Ryan Rap (Video)

He's like Ron Paul meets Ryan Seacrest, but with a lot more "m-fers." Yet, even in all this Beastie Boys-esque Ryan P90Sex braggadocio, my favorite part is the cluelessness of fake Mitt Romney who kind of plops around like the floppy android he is. Second best line (after "White people are back") is "Screw the sick and the poor like Jesus said ... if he had lived to read 'The Fountainhead.'"

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