The Snob Talks Bachmann, the Virginia Ballot and Sports Concussions on NPR

The Snob returned to NPR's Tell Me More with Michel Martin Wednesday to talk Michele Bachmann suspending her campaign, how most GOP presidential hopefuls aren't on the Virginia ballot (and my suspicion that most of these folks weren't really serious about their election prospects or running), sports head injuries and Janet Jackson hawking weight loss plans for Nutrisystem. I was on the show with regulars Viviana Hurtado of The Wise Latina Club, Michelle Bernard of the Bernard Center for Women and sports anchor Kristen Berset of Washington, D.C.'s WUSA TV.

Check out the audio from the show after the jump.

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Mitt Romney Barely Beats Surging Santorum While Rick Perry Adorably Continues Losing Campaign

Rick Perry keeps running, literally and in the race for 2012. (Via Twitter)In the latest round of "Anybody But Mittens," Mitt Romney barely beat out a booming Rick Santorum for an Iowa Caucus win. And by "barely," I mean there's an eight vote difference. But ol' Ricky Santorum even getting this far is an amazing feat considering the game of musical chairs various GOP candidates have played in their fight for front-runner.

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Campaigns In Crisis: Michele Bachmann Mails It In While Herman Cain Staffers Call Him "Chaotic"

Danger! Danger in the campaigns! After nearly all of her New Hampshire primary campaign staff quit, Michele Bachmann became the ONLY Republican running for president who filed her papers for the NH primary via Pony Express, aka "the mail." But she's not the only GOPer lacking staff these days. Godfather Pizza man and gospel music superstar Herman Cain is the unwilling star of a New York Times story this Thursday where his ex-aides claim the "Cain Train" is a hot mess of un-CEO-like disorganization.

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Bachmann Turns My 9-9-9 Plan Joke Into 6-6-6 Reality For Herman Cain

Presidential wannabe Michele Bachmann "went there" during Tuesday's Bloomberg News debate when she hinted at Herman Cain's "9-9-9" plan's possible demonic leanings. A while back, I joked that Cain, being a man of faith, had made a misstep in going with a name that could easily freak out "End Times" enthusists. Quote (myself): "Herman Cain said some stuff about how we should be more like Chile, compared taxes to tithing and said something-something 9-9-9 plan. Which seems like a naming fluke for Cain. Too easy to flip those 9s to 6s and have wingnuts accuse Cain of having the "mark of the beast." His name is already Cain, who as we all know from the TV show Superbook was the world's first murderer." So you know what this means, right? Michele Bachmann: Secret BlackSnob.com reader. (Gawker)

Chris Christie, Sarah Palin Turn Down Chance To Be Miserable By Running For President

Republican pundit hopes and fears were both dashed and saved this week when a woman no one wanted to run for president said she would not and a man they hoped would breathe life into a dead-on-arrival class of GOP candidates also refused. Doesn't anyone want to be the savor of Conservatism and vanquish our "weak" incumbent president, or do frick n' frack here know something the pundits don't know?

(Psst. That something is that despite all these problems, everyone running is so lame, Obama's re-election chances still look pretty good.)

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Pro-Zombie Reagan Debate Light On Substance, Heavy On "Let Me Finish"

Texas Gov. Rick "Good Hair" Perry may have got the headline of Wednesday night's presidential debate by doubling-down on his "Social Security is a ponzi scheme" statements, but the real Ponzi shenanigans going on weren't coming from our entitlement programs, but about three-fourths of the candidates on that stage. Many of whom who weren't so much pushing campaigns, but pushing for future punditry/lobbying gigs and book deals. With their non-existent poll rankings and fatal personality flaws, they wasted time talking loud and signifying nothing while Jon Huntsman fought for relevancy and Ron Paul fought for respect. They were a cacophony of phonies you already forgot were running, grifting in the background while well-coiffed doppelgangers Perry and his seething prissy rival Willard "Mittens" Romney fought for America's hand in marriage.

Here's the highlights of a debate featuring your political Kens and one Barbie, known kooks, political hustlers and ... Ron Paul.

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T-Paw Calls It Quits, Rick Perry Makes It Official and Bachmann Wins Meaningless Iowa Straw Poll

The past weekend was extremely eventful in the race for 2012 as one Republican jumped in, one jumped out and another continued her pursuit to harass us with inanity for a few more months before she gets bounced out for being completely out-of-her-gourd.

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Highlights From "Who Wants To Be A President?" GOP Debate In Iowa

From UK GuardianIt was fight night in Ames, Iowa Thursday and FOX News actually did a good job. (Seriously, they did! It was an entertaining, if too damn long, two hour debate!) Chris Wallace and the homies asked almost all the crazy, shit-stirring questions you could ever want, causing Presidential wannabe Tim Pawlenty to point his weak chin in his fellow Minnesotan Michele Bachmann's direction and start the fisticuffs. But because Pawlenty is hopelessly lame, Bachmann and her delicious word salad was successful in beating him back every time. Most notably by saying T-Paw is Obama-like. 

Oh no she didn't!

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Tina Brown's Got Some 'Splainin To Do Over Michele Bachmann Newsweek Cover

Click to Enlarge.Don't care for Michele Bachmann. Won't vote for Michele Bachmann. Think the woman is crazy pants. But even the craziest of pants didn't deserve this Deer-In-The-Headlights cover Newsweek threw together "Burn Book" style. Plus, the photo definitely doesn't go with calling Bachmann "The Queen of Rage." That cover is more "The Queen of Confusion." Or "The Queen of Surprise." Or "The Queen of WTF." Not that I expect that much of Tina Brown's Newsweek covers which, of late, has featured everything from a Zombie Princess of Wales to Sarah Palin in short-shorts. (Was that Tina's fault? I can't remember if the short-shorts cover was pre- or post-Tina Brown's Newsweek/Daily Beast merger.) Either way, the covers have been, well, odd of lately. So even though "crazy eye" Michele Bachmann is kind of a real thing, I find it hard to believe out of all the horrible photos they took of this woman the one that made her look slightly learning disabled was the best one.