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Entries in Iron Man (2)

Thursday
Nov062008

Señor Baby Wipes Gets Axed From "Iron Man 2"

My favorite effeminate, vain, soul-humping pretty boy, Señor Baby Wipes, aka Terrence Howard, was axed from the Iron Man sequel. He's been replaced by the ultimate black utility actor, Don Cheadle, a man who would probably be more famous if Denzel Washington, Samuel L. Jackson and Jamie Foxx fell off the face of the earth.

Competition, kid. Even Terrence Howard was in his way ... until now.

I love The Cheadle (and I LOVED Iron Man -- damn, that was one sexy, cool action flick -- so I'm happy for him getting in a big pay day blockbuster), but it's rare for a studio to fiddle with the cast of a film that was so insanely successful. Everyone in the movie was the hotness, from Robert Downy Jr. on down, so I had to consult to insiders to find out why El Vanity No Good Lover Howard didn't the reboot.

From Yahoo Movies:

When it was announced that Terrence Howard was out of "Iron Man 2" and that Don Cheadle would be taking over the role of James "Rhodey" Rhodes, the question on most observers' minds was "Why?" The first film was an enormous success, turning a little-known Marvel Comics character into a household name and raking in $318 million domestically. Howard received solid reviews for his work in the film. And the movie itself seemed to indicate that Rhodey would have a bigger part in the sequel when he looked at the silver Mark II suits and said to himself, "Next time, baby."

Terrence Howard himself seemed at a loss as to why he was replaced, telling NPR that getting the news was "the surprise of a lifetime." Initial reports said that negotiations between Howard's representatives and Marvel Studios "fell through over financial differences," but a recent article in Entertainment Weekly suggests it was more complicated than that.

Howard was the first actor signed to the film and, on top of that, was the highest-paid. That's right: more than Gwyneth Paltrow. More than Jeff Bridges. More than Robert Downey Jr. And once the project fully came together, it was too late to renegotiate his deal. (Entertainment Weekly)

Director Jon Favreau told Ain't It Cool News before shooting even began that he had cast Howard with the intention of giving Rhodey a bigger role in the sequels, eventually getting his own suit of mechanized armor to become "War Machine." But according to EW's source, "Favreau and his producers were ultimately unhappy with Howard's performance, and spent a lot of time cutting and reshooting his scenes."

Consequently, as Favreau and screenwriter Justin Theroux began the process of structuring the second movie, they reduced the scale of Rhodey's part. With the role pared down, Marvel presented Howard's agents with a much smaller offer than he received for the first movie.

The agents, according to sources, were so taken aback by this new figure - estimated at somewhere between a 50 and 80 percent pay cut - that they questioned it. Why did they blanch? Multiple sources say that Marvel execs never told Howard's reps that they had issues with the star's on-set conduct

So what I'm gleaning from this, el hombre blew it. He was the biggest and highest paid star attached to the film before Downy Jr. proved he could leave the crack and booze alone and pull off the performance of a life time as Tony Stark, aka Iron Man. (Damn, he was sexy. But I have a thing for super heroes. If they ever make a black Superman and I ain't talkin' Shaquille O'Neil in Steel. I mean, The Rock or Nate Parker. Or someone who is so hot and noble looking that I'll want him to call me "Lois Lane" Mary Jane Girls style ... all night long. You know what I'm talking about fangirls! Screw Margot Kidder and Kate Bosworth. What about me? What about the sisters? We wanna go up, up and away! Rescue my ass for once!)

Back to Baby Wipes, though ...

Either Howard is an insufferable bitch or this is the classic case of Hollywood playing the Hollywood Shuffle with the minorities. As much as I love The Cheadle, I'm bummed that I won't see the smooth cool of my sweet, sweet Señor Baby Wipes. Granted, his ego is probably huge from the back-to-back critical successes of "Hustle and Flo" and "Crash." From his half assed Terence Trent D'Arby-esque singing to "Iron Man," to countless magazine covers, Terrence was/is/going to be what every Will Smith and Jamie Foxx and Denzel couldn't be ... a swexy, smooth asshole. A new variation on type.

Smith works hard, but Señor is a better actor. Foxx is multi-talented, but, again, Señor is the better actor. Washington? Well, that's a toughie. That's both Tom Hanks, Marlon Brando and Sidney Poitier wrapped in one. He's Ruby Dee and Ossie Davis. Equally talented and charming Morgan Freeman bows down when Denzel comes to his town. I don't know how he'll beat that. Denzel is getting older. That means he can't take some of the parts he used to, I'm seeing a three-way fight to be America's no. 1 black military/cop/historical figure/investigator/action/drama actor. My point is, Señor was/is supposed to BLOW UP. Not getting in Iron Man 2, the closest thing to a guaranteed paycheck outside of the Batman sequel, not getting rehired after America LIKED you in Iron Man means something really, really foul went down.

You blew it, Baby Wipes!

But C'st la vie! The Cheadle is back, baby, going for another shot at the apple! Get 'em, Cheadle, get 'em! Don't let 'em know what hit 'em!

Monday
May052008

Indecision 2008 Stumbles Along

I think it would have been more fun if the primaries hadn't been front-loaded onto Super Tuesday. Because then the battle for Hoosier Country and the Tarheel State would mean more. It wouldn't be a political war by attrition where pundits via the Clintons do their best to convince me Tuesday means something.

But wasn't this Tuesday decided on Super Tuesday? Hillary Clinton has been playing a catch up game where she can't statistically catch up. Barack Obama had to endure the umpteenth question about Rev. Wright on "Meet the Press" last Sunday. And everyone is just tired. Capital "T" that ends with "d," tired.

It would be different if we were talking about the issues, but instead we're talking about who is going to beat the spread, what poll can you trust and is Rush Limbaugh impacting the race. And why is everyone behaving like Limbaugh is legitimate all of a sudden? Last time I checked people weren't miking up DL Hughley and asking him about Nancy Pelosi. What gives? Is there some rule that if you show footage of Rush getting all red and blustery over John McCain you have to show him squealing like a pig in slop over the Democratic race? Because he's not legitimate in either case.

That said, I might use Tuesday's evening of non-importance to read a book or watch something out of my neglected DVD collection that probably thinks I must hate it as I haven't watched a DVD in almost six months. I used to watch more often when I had a larger television. Now that I have a tiny, grainy, blurry TV it's pointless. How can I enjoy the original RoboCop on that? And I own the Criterion Collection DVD of RoboCop. They don't even make that anymore. I had to order a used copy for $40 from Amazon. That's how serious I take my movies. I might even watch RoboCop tomorrow, or finally watch movies I bought last year, but never opened, like my copy of the anime suspense-thriller "Perfect Blue" and the last Bret Easton Ellis novel adapted for film, "The Rules of Attraction."

But I'm not spending another evening with Chris Matthews and Keith Olbermann, both of whom have a bad case of Democratic Primary Night Stigmata. I'm surprised they aren't wearing black lace veils and acting out the stations of the cross.

And unless CNN adds my Reese's Peanut Butter Cup of TV News, TJ Holmes, to their election night coverage I won't be watching Wolf Blitzer and Soledad O'Brien either.

I'm just going to keep watching RoboCop, the Terminator Trilogy, Brazil and all the other dystopian sci-fi films I own over and over until June. You'll let me know when they make Obama the nominee, right? Right?

And did anyone go see "Iron Man" this weekend because I did and Robert Downey Jr. was awesome.

Downey is also on The Great Wall of Sexy.