ME!A friend recently brought it to my attention that my personal Facebook page was a lot of pictures of myself, taken by myself, in various stages of hair styling. I jokingly responded, "Well, I have a bit of a narcissist streak."
But for serious, I have a bit of a narcissist streak.
On The Root today Patrice J. Williams tackled the uneasiness some feel about "black Twitter" and its love of trending topics. Black Twitter, for those who don't know, is just regular ol' Twitter, only with a focus on how the black folks are communicating with each other via social networking. It's a great time to do some pop culture navel gazing. Most people use Twitter as an act of communication. Others use it as an expression of their worsening narcissism. Some people want to make whatever rap person Lil Duval tweets some variation a trending topic everyday. Other folks want to know #liesmentell. Some of those people are black people.
While I can understand the tendency as a black person who doesn't know who Lil Duval is and doesn't use Twitter to discuss the various ways women cheat on their man-friends to be all "OMG! LOOK HOW IGNORANT THOSE PEOPLE ARE BEING ON TWITTER!" This is one of those situations where I'm like, is this really a problem? And if this is a problem ... why?
Do you watch Dancing With the Stars? I don't. But whatever. Let's talk about it. Allegedly, some pro-Tea Party folks have gamed the voting system to keep Sarah Palin's lead-footed daughter in the hunt and now Bristol Palin is going on to the finals against Jennifer Grey, aka the woman I didn't recognize anymore post-Dirty Dancing because she got a nose job and thus killed her career (a cautionary tale).
About two or three weeks ago when a friend first told me about the video of an angry Antoine Dodson on a local TV news report, voicing his concern about his sister Kelly's near rape, I had a hard time wrapping my head around what could possibly be funny about that. I don't find attempted rape or nearly strangling a woman to death funny. And if I'd stumbled upon one of my sisters being attacked I would have responded the same way Antoine did. Then I learned almost all the unintentional humor was derived from the fact that Antoine Dodson didn't relay his anger with stereotypical, black male machismo, but with a certain Southern patois and flamboyance that many people deemed "feminine." So then I was all, "Oh, great. So we're not just making light of a family's pain, but people are cracking gay jokes too? Priceless."
Finally, I learned that from all the attention, subsequent YouTube remixes, iTunes downloads, merchandise and Dodson's new Web site that the Dodsons had made enough money to move out of the projects.
This has to be the most amazing instance of taking the lemons of life and making lemon drop martinis ever.
Danielle Belton | 41 Comments | Share Article | Email Article | Print Article | tagged Antoine Dodson, Bed Intruder, Kelly Dodson, YouTube, internet, meme, technology, the snob 
By Luvvie
Social networking makes the world go round nowadays. In high school, I used to eHang on AOL Instant Messenger, highschoolclub.com (remember that?), and of course BlackPlanet. There were many lunchtimes when we'd all go into the computer lab to update our BP pages on some "Girl, did you see my new picture???" Just gleeful in our teenage state.
The other day while eLoitering on Twitter, someone mentioned how they knew someone who still had a BlackPlanet page. Wait, what? Did I fall through a space-time continuum and land squarely in Y2K? Are people still stunting with 2-way pagers and grayscale screen cellphones? Christina Aguilera, is that you coming out that genie bottle? Stop playing! Is that an ombre FUBU jersey under a denim outfit? Is Pluto still a planet? Well, slap me in the morning and tell me it's midnight!
(Click here for more!)
Luvvie | 22 Comments | Share Article | Email Article | Print Article | tagged black people, guest blogger, internet, pop culture, social networking Friday, December 12, 2008 at 12:33PM
Did you know there's a new Web browser that's exactly like Firefox, but now all "Negro-ed" up for our pleasure? Yes! Yes there is! And it's called Blackbird! And it is DUMB. Amazingly dumb. Especially considering it is exactly like Firefox only it's black-colored and has some black interest Web sites built into the bookmarks.
Let Adrian Covert of Gizmodo explain:
Wait, why do I need a special web browser? I mean, I get there's been a long standing digital divide between black America and the technological world (controlled by The Man). But do I really need a repackaged piece of software whose name evokes the Jim Crow era?
Maybe 40A, Inc. (the creator of Blackbird) meant well with Blackbird, but it comes off as a lazy marketing ploy that plays on the emotions of people who are (admittedly) still marginalized when it comes to the online world. And playing along with the notion that blacks and whites (or anyone, for that matter) can't enjoy any of the same things, is the same retarded line of antiquated, ethno-centric thinking that the internet is supposed to destroy. Blah.
Blah, indeed!
Nothing like some old fashioned, take an existing product, wrap it in Kente cloth and try to sell it to me scheme! Haven't seen one of those in a while. Just dip the white Barbie in brown paint. No one will even know the difference!
But as long as we're "colorizing" products that are colorless, here are some other product suggestions that could use some blackening up!
Feminine Hygiene products -- Black women shouldn't have to use products with such Westernized names. Fuck Summer's Eve. Give me Africa's Dawn! I want to smell like the MOTHERLAND every 28 days!
Fabric Softener -- because Downy is a sell-out softener. Bounce, not as bad, but still kind of supporting the white patriarchy. What about Homey the Fabric Softener? It would have Damon Wayon's face on it. The commercials he could beat the softness into your clothes with that dirty black sock from the old "In Living Color" comedy bit. I'd bet he'd do it for cheap too.
Baby food -- Gerber almost never has a Negro baby on that bottle. Besides, there's no turnip greens, pig's feet or sweet potato flavored baby food. I don't want my baby eating no mashed peas unless it's mashed black-eye peas!
Condoms -- Black! For her pleasure! Wait. Do "Rough Riders" count as "black" condoms?
Cable TV Packages -- There are too many "white" channels on my basic cable. Where's my special "black package" that comes with nothing but 10 different flavors of BET, VH-1, MTV, ESPN, TV One, CNN, TNT and HBO? And it should have a special version of TV Land that shows nothing but The Jeffersons, Good Times and Sanford & Son. And don't forget my BET Starz where I can watch all 15 versions of Trois, including Trois Goes to the Inauguration: Welcome to The Freaknik of Hope, starring Tyrin Turner and Jill Marie Jones, featuring Wesley Snipes in his BET Starz original film debut as "Rob Johnston," billionaire owner of the Black Broadcasting Network who gives Turner and Henson an "indecent proposal" after getting "four thumbs down" from the President-elect and Mrs. Obama.
Pain killers -- for those racially tinged headaches you get when your co-workers won't stop touching your hair!
Handguns -- they could come with rapper's endorsements. 50 Cent brand 9MMs. They could come in different colors to match your outfits. Special grips so they stay secure to your sweat pants if you're a certain nightclub hopping, shoot-yourself-in-the-leg football star. They could come bedazzled in diamonds and rhinestones. More bling for your bang! They would practically sell themselves!
Alcohol -- Wait ... never mind. Ripple, anyone?
Danielle Belton | 25 Comments | Share Article | Email Article | Print Article | tagged black people, blackbird, internet 
