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General Snobbery

Entries in Herman Cain (26)

Tuesday
Nov152011

Herman Cain Has A Brain Fart Over Libya (Video)

Libya! Did Barack Obama have enough "intelligence" on the issue? You know? With all that diplomacy and CIA intelligence gathering and talking to generals and NATO allies and putting together a strategy that lead to Libyan leader Muammar Gaddafi getting all kinds of dead. But what would a BUSINESS MAN have done? Would he have listened to all the facts and alternatives? Herman Cain would have! Then he would have made the decision as the commander-in-chief. That's so obviously different than what Obama did, since he was a PRESIDENT (not a business man) while doing it! I kind of wish Cain would have skipped the "analysis" and just said, "Whatever President Obama did was wrong, even if it was right because that's what I've been told. Look hard enough at Obama and, folks, you'll find something wrong! That's what I believe." That's so much easier to remember.

Herman Cain crises are like Pokemon these days. You gotta catch them all.

Thursday
Nov102011

Counting the Cain Crises One Cain-tastrophy At A Time

The Many Crises of Herman Cain: The list is still growing! Today I added more Cain Controversies to The Snob's running tally!

23) Princess Nancy

The Foot: During the CNBC Republican debate Herman Cain refers to former House Speaker and Democratic leader in the House, Nancy Pelosi, as "Princess Nancy." One of Cain's many "jokes," critics complain calling Rep. Pelosi a "princess" smacks of sexist insensitivity, not helping his growing rep as a lady harasser.

Read more more more!

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Thursday
Nov102011

Mike Tyson Channels His Inner Herman Cain: "Crazy Is the Taste Republicans Never Tire Of" (Video)

In this latest Funny or Die political video, Mike Tyson, former heavyweight champ and fan of his brother-in-law of five minutes, Michael "Black" Steele "In the Hour of GOP Chaos," has a little fun at Herman Cain's nonsensical expense. My favorite part? Where apropos of nothing Mike Tyson just shouts "CAIN!" There's also a clip of Tyson lampooning Herman Cain's "Imagine There's No Pizza," but that's not as good since the original version is so mind-numbing insane in its earnestness it can never truly be topped. (Funny Or Die)

Wednesday
Nov092011

Herman Cain Accuser Says Pizza Man Could Be A 'Monster'

DAY 10! Another day. Another Cain accuser. Another Cain crisis. Another Cain denial. Another "Cainwreck" to cover. News producers gnash their teeth. They render their garments. They really would rather write about any other GOP candidate right now, but the Cain Controversies won't stop. "DIE!" they all scream, "Why won't this MONSTER DIE?!" Yet his poll numbers remain "high." He is still a "front runner." Therefore they must still cover this story.

Take it away, media!

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Tuesday
Nov082011

Herman Cain: All The Single Ladies 

"You want a job, right?"

-- What fourth sexual harassment accuser Sharon Bialek said pizza man president Herman Cain said to her when she asked him what he was doing with his hand up her skirt back in 1997.

* * *

Monday, some blonde lady said back in 1997 Herman Cain groped her crotch and tried to get some sexual healing from her in a quid pro quo, "Ass For Jobs" program. It was hilarious. And sad. Gloria Allred, attorney to any woman at any time if there's cameras involved, was there. She said Cain tried to give single mom and life-long Republican Sharon Bialek his "stimulus package." And ... uh, huh huh. Har-de-har-har. Allred's got jokes.

Let the bets begin on when Cain will get out of the race! I say never. He's going all-the-way, baby.

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Monday
Nov072011

Gloria Allred Found Herself A Herman Cain Sexual Harassment Accuser

Past women's rights super lawyer Gloria Allred, who is now better known for her defense of any scandal-plagued woman attached to a TV camera, is holding a press conference today representing the fourth mystery woman to claim presidential candidate Herman Cain offered to play "hide the sausage" with her. Who will this woman be? What will she have to say? Will this make the scandal better or worse? Who knows! Or, maybe we'll know, come noon, when Allred and her mystery accuser take the microphone in New York City and make their sexual harassment claims known.

In other uncomfortable news: 48 percent of middle school through high school students are sexually harassed. That's 56 percent of girls and 40 percent of boys all in grades 7-12. Sexual harassment, folks, is not rare. But in junior high, just as in the workplace -- it's the doing anything about it that's rare. (H/T Gawker, Huffington Post)

Friday
Nov042011

Herman Cain Supporters Find Their Inner Clarence Thomas (Video)

HERMAN CAIN! Sick of hearing about him yet? TOO BAD! It's Fall and there's the smell of pine needles and SCANDAL in the air! Cain's all over your teevee and your blogs and your newspapers and your magazines! He's dominating your YouTubes! Causing a ruckus! I even wrote an extensive catalog of all his SCANDALS (19 and counting!) Today, everyone in Media Land is wondering if the National Restaurant Association will let one of those women folk who are accusing Cain of sexual harassment tell her side of the story. It's Scandal Thanksgiving out there, where TV advertisers for news networks express their gratitude to politicians for messing up just enough so they can turn their news apparatuses into tawdry, ratings-grabbin' gossips. 

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Thursday
Nov032011

Can You Count All The Herman Cain Crises? The Snob's Got The List!

Herman Cain! He's still running for president! But with the number of crises breaking all around our representative from Godfather Pizza, it can be hard to keep track. Where did they all come from? And how did they happen? Well, The Snob is here to help you out with my handy Black Snob Cain Crisis Watch List!

Click to read more ...

Tuesday
Nov012011

For Halloween, Ghosts of Sexual Harassment Haunt Herman Cain

Herman Cain spent all of Halloween Monday rearranging the deck chairs on his unsinkable disaster presidential campaign after Politico ran a story on Cain being accused of sexual harassment during his tenure with the National Restaurant Association.

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