The Return of Trump-De-Dump-Dump-Dump: The Donald's Revenge

Because GOP wannabe Mitt Romney is insecure, fearful of offending ANY CONSERVATIVE EVER and butthurt for friends, America's gilded bag of Cheetos dust covered in random hair clippings, aka Donald Trump, is back. Trump, for some perverse, publicity-laden reason is a Romney "surrogate." Probably because Romney saw his favorable ratings finally go up a little, got concerned he might actually win this thing, and deployed this asshole to tell us how Barack Obama is one of the lizard people.

It's a curious strategy, but if the goal is to NOT get elected ... it's just crazy enough to work.

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Trump-De-Dump-Dump-Dump: The Man Who Won't Be President

So The Donald, a man leading the race for "Most Annoying Carbon Based Life Form" now three decades in a row, claims he wants to be the white, Republican, failed capitalist Obama. Or maybe he wants to be Sarah Palin with a penis, but worse hair and body. I honestly can't tell. But he definitely wants to be TRUMP. Trump's whole motto in life is "Go Out and Make Another Trump Brand" on everything. So I'm sure his first executive decision, as President, would be to rebrand America as "Trumperica," then promptly run us into the ground like nearly every business he's ever touched.

More after the jump.

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