GOP Establishment Realizes Hurricane Newt Is Coming For Landfall

There's another GOP debate tonight! Batter the hatches! 

They thought he was dead. They thought they killed him in Iowa. They thought wrong. Newt Gingrich is back, baby! And like the awful B-Movie he is, he's out for revenge. At first it was just about teaching that damn Mittens a lesson, but the Newtster messed around and race-baited his way into a South Carolina primary win. Then Mittens lost Iowa several weeks after winning it. And now it's all come up Gingrich. Even an old sex scandal couldn't stop him. He just kept swinging and won't go down.

If I didn't find the man completely repugnant I'd almost admire his audacity.

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GOP Candidates Show Up For A Fight, But ABC Insists On A Debate Breaking Out

Somewhere, in-between me knitting booties for little Blue Illuminati Carter, the GOP had two debates this weekend leading up to the New Hampshire primary. The first debate, hosted by ABC News had so much promise, starting off with a lot of angry posturing, testy exchanges, harrumphing and epic put downs, but for some reason, ABC thought it would be way too exciting to watch six men on the edge of a breakdown lose their collective shit on stage, so they zapped all the life out that sucker by making the debate about how much Mitt Romney hates "hypothetical" questions about gay people and abortions.

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Michele Bachmann: Newt Gingrich Debate Assassin

Of all the also-rans running for the GOP nomination the one that has shown the most growth during "America's Next Top Model: Wannabe Presidents Edition," is Michele Bachmann, who started out in the debates being blustering, then inconsistent, then non-existent in a few debates to wingnut assassin, vigorously going after anyone who might be winking at her Freeper base. Those are HER Freepers, dammit! Hand's off!

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CNN Tea Party Debate Crowd Eschews Cake, Says Uninsured Should Eat Death Instead

Or maybe they're offering "death cake?" Mmm. Death Cake.*There was a lot of craziness going on in the latest GOP debate, hosted by CNN and the Tea Party, most of it involving the various candidates playing wack-a-mole with Texas Gov. Rick Perry. But the most startling moment was during a hypothetical question posed by Wolf Blitzer about a 30-something, once healthy uninsured guy who didn't buy insurance when he could afford it, but got really sick and might die. Should we should let him die? While Ron Paul was trying to give his "go to a church for help if you're uninsured and dying of an illness answer" (more on that later), the crowd got a little restless and cheered for letting the dude die.

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Winkin, Blinkin and Bitchy

Out of all the things I've noticed about John McCain in the debates is how much the man blinks. He often looks insane, his eyes fluttering away every time Obama moved his lips. With every utter and stutter from Obama, McCain's eyes went a-flutter. Sometimes in amusement, sometimes in frustration, sometimes in befuddlement and sometimes for no reason at all.

But that didn't stop me from wondering what the hell was going on ...

Top Ten Reasons Why John McCain Blinked So Much During the Debate

1. He has no sweat glands and it is his way to cool. Re: Eye panting
2. Chronic dry eye?
3. He was inspired by that guy from The Diving Bell and the Butterfly
4. He was blinking Morose Code to Cindy McCain, "Need to buy more Depends!"
5. He was flirting with the moderator.
6. It was 127 failed attempts of Sarah Palin's patented "wink." Just couldn't get it right.
7. He was having a minor stroke
8. He is secretly one of Snow White's Seven Dwarfs -- McBashful (McBashful has an alter ego called McBitchy. He was there Wednesday night too.)
9. He was catching the vapors
10. He was flirting with "his friends."

Some Quick Observations About Wednesday Night's Debate

John McCainiac gave his all. He huff and he puffed and he got really "eye-blinky," but Barack "Hopey McChangey" Obama's house refused to blow down. While the pundits considered whether or not the "angry," Ayers-obsessed McCain would come off better than the slightly less peeved, but cowed McCain, early polls by CNN and CBS showed, once again, an overwhelming tilt towards Obama winning the debate.

This last debate was McCain's last big chance to tell America what his vision for the country is. Instead I got a lot fussing, eye rolling and grunting, compounding with tons of wasted minutes on what will ultimately go down as the "Joe the Plumber" debate.

This was a lively exchange than the previous two debates, no doubt. Mostly because McCain's body language and attitude were a raw, exposed nerve on a confused and irritated body. I once joked during the primaries that it seemed like Hillary Clinton was moaning R&B singer Deborah Cox's 1998 hit "Nobody's Supposed to Be Here." Now McCain has taken that ballad and turned it into a torch song to his misfortunes.

How did this Obama guy get here?
He's not supposed to be here.
It's bad enough I got beat by Bush last time.
My Purple heart says no, no.
He's not supposed to be here.
Then Obama came along making me lose my mind.

This debate was largely the best debate though because of the format and the moderator, CBS long-time political reporter and host of "Face the Nation," the pithy Bob Schieffer. Unlike Tom Brokaw, who came off petulant and prissy during the last debate, Schieffer breezed through, asking interesting questions that sparked lively debate while keep the training running on time.

Obama largely stuck to the "West Side Story" play book by humming "boy, boy, crazy boy, stay cool boy" in his head for 90 minutes no matter what flapdoodle came out of McCain's mouth. That is an amazing talent of his. Plus, McCain heartily took the negative campaigning bait and did what the Republican base wanted him to do, but once again forgot all about the voters in the middle. The one's who may have taken offense to him using "air quotes" when saying the word "health" in reference to abortion rights. Claiming health was an over used argument when the whole abortion debate is about health -- health of the mother and health of the fetus.

Seriously. What was he talking about? Did he really go there? But I guess if you're going to blow through the last debate, knowing that in all likelihood no matter what you say it won't move the needle, why not act a damn fool? Sure, it's about two debates too late. McCain does everything two or three moves to late. If he were boxing his own shadow (which he does at times), his shadow kicks his ass somedays.

Obama had opportunities to open up on McCain and probably would have if he weren't sitting on a lead he didn't want to blow. Obama didn't have to do anything but keep from uttering a major gaff, or stuttering too much (which he did do at times). Other than that, if we're grading the debate based on who accomplished their mission, the obvious winner is Obama. McCain threw everything, including the William Ayers sink at Obama and he just shined on through.

It's "Groundhog Day" for John McCain. Every debate was "Grondhog Day." It's deja vu all over again.

Side note: More on Michelle and her dress later (and me getting um ... a little tired of the pins). More pictures. Updates will be late today!

The Battle of New York

Hempstead, NY here we go!

Wednesday night is the last night for the presidential debates. This is it. No mas. Decision time!

Of course, I made my decision during the primaries, but for some reason there are people who still don't know who to vote for. (Really? The campaign's been going on for almost two years and they agree on almost NOTHING!) And I hope those people don't expect tons of substance at a debate. A debate is theater. It's about posturing, body language and communicating your message. It's about not looking inept or ignorant or mean or unseemly.

Neither Barack Obama or John McCain are good debaters. Mad Dog Joe Biden could eat them both alive with his quick loquaciousness. But Obama has improved vastly since last summer and is obviously the better of the two top candidates when it comes to:

A) Not looking angry
B) Not coming off like a douche
C) Not getting off message

He's still "no drama, Obama." McCain is still the McManiac, McManiac on the debate floor! And his rambling like he's never rambled before! McCain, behind in the polls with pretty much nothing to lose, claims he's going to bring the fight to Obama.

Really? Is this debate going to be like Pickett's Last Charge? What is he going to do that he didn't do blandly in the first two debates? The William Ayers stuff isn't working because, as Jon Stewart so aptly put it Tuesday night, the monster of fear and anger McCain has created became a public relations nightmare with Civil Rights activist and House Rep. John Lewis accusing him of reaching back into the archives and remixing Gov. George Wallace's greatest hits. (Segregation now! Segregation today! Segregation forever!)

That was a low blow, but not really far off. McCain-Palin was really pushing the Rice Krispies end of the conservative continuum and they were ready to snap, crackle and pop all over his campaign.

Things will likely go smoothly and unless McCain goes feral (which he can't do because going feral didn't help on the stump). Despite his declarations to "fight" it should be another tepid debate with a slightly more congenial and lively moderator (Bob Schieffer of CBS). There will be some verbal sparring, but I don't see McCain landing the heavy blow he's looking for. How do you box a shadow? Obama somehow has mastered the art of debating zen -- I am rubber, you are glue. Whatever you say to me bounces off and sticks to you.

That said, Black and Married With Kids is throwing other black bloggers live blogging debate night! To join in the fun click here.

Michelle and Barack: Black, White and Michelle Wearing Red All Over

Win, lose or draw, Barack and Michelle Obama already got the big prize. They're so adorable it's sickening! Look at them! They're too sweet. I'm getting cavities. I swear.

Everybody say "cheese!" But seriously. Michelle's dress? Love it? Hate it? Let's all agree, yadda, yadda, yadda, Michelle could wear a Hefty's Cinch Sack and still be hotter than July, but what about the red dress? For the Snob: Like the color. Like the cut. Like the shoes. Hated the exposed zipper down the back. Wasn't too crazy about the ... what were those? Pins? So this was a mixed bag for me. V-neck dark red dress, hot. Everything else that wasn't the heels, meh.

Michelle? Holding babies! OMG! Almost as cute as when Hopey McChangy does it! These pictures are from Thursday in New Hampshire where Michelle addressed a rally. Michelle went casual at the rally, so she looked like your average, laid back wife n' mother combo out to get the groceries, go to a PTA meeting and tell a throng of thousands while her husband is the man with the plan from the Heartland.

Quick Observations About Last Night's Debate

1) Not a game changer. Barack Obama more than handled his own. He dunked on his opponent multiple times and got him back for the "You don't understand" comment and murdered him with incriminations. John McCain was good, but not good enough to take out his opponent in his "so-called" best format. Once again, bad for McCain.

2) The format was terrible and Tom Brokaw came off rather snippy. It seemed unfair that candidates often were given the chance to respond to what the other said. I think that made both Obama and John McCain testy and rightful so.

3) Obama's answer to "what don't you know" was an adorable dodge, saying Michelle could tell all the things Barack doesn't know. She looked gorgeous by the way. More on her in another thread.

4) Obama was even better on the foreign policy side this time. Better than McCain who seemed to become more and more frustrated in lackluster as the debate went on.

5) All McCain's jokes bombed.

6) McCain called Barack "that one" which discuss who voted for what. It doesn't matter. It's rather patronizing to refer to black people as things rather than people. I don't think he did it on purpose, but it was poor form.

7) As I though, McCain didn't go kamikaze on Barack in the way his running mate has. I don't think McCain is fully committed to the dirt he has to do to win and that's an interesting conflict. Politico discussed it Wednesday.

8) After the debate, Barack and Michelle lingered around for more than 15 minutes, shaking hands, making small talk and posing for pictures with the voters. John and Cindy McCain bolted as soon as the debate was over with. Also, if anyone noticed, Cindy shook Barack's hand, but not McCain who barely acknowledged him and patted his shoulder. I think John was really frustrated, knowing that he didn't do anything to change the campaign in his favor. He's really struggling. If it weren't for the fact that I'm rooting for the other guy, I'd feel sorry for him.

9) Obama won the debate, handidly, because McCain was so dull.

More later on this, but what did you think?

PS. More updates later today in the afternoon. I have to go to work. Also, it's my birthday today. I'm 31.