Well, The Sequester Happened ... So When Is the Apocalypse Scheduled?

President Barack Obama talks with Congressional leaders prior to the Rosa Parks statue unveiling ceremony at the U.S. Capitol in Washington, D.C., Feb. 27, 2013. (Official White House Photo by Pete Souza)The DNC has flooded my (and possibly your) inbox with sequestration facts since Friday afternoon. And if you're like most people you're either looking up from your meal of Top Ramen inside your cardboard box going "huh" or you've been dreading this day ever since you learned you would be directly affected by the $85 billion harsh cuts coming from this bullshit poison pill, crafted by Congress years ago, only to finally come to roost last Friday.

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Mittens Finds A Mate: Paul Ryan Is Romney's GOP "Dream Date" Candidate

Photo via ClutchMitt Romney, the on purpose yet somehow accidental, presumptive GOP candidate for president announced Saturday that Rep. Paul Ryan will be his running mate. He announced this news during a time/date slot normally reserved for stories politicians want to bury in the haze of lazy Fridays, sleep-in Saturdays, an audience focused on how to get their drink on this weekend, not the news and the Olympics.

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Obama Administration To Stop Deporting Certain Illegal Immigrants Brought Here As Children

President Barack Obama greets people in the audience after delivering the keynote address at the Asian Pacific American Institute for Congressional Studies 18th Annual Gala Dinner in Washington, D.C., May 8, 2012. (Official White House Photo by Pete Souza)When the DREAM Act died in Congress many feared of what would come of the thousands of children, many now adults, who unwittingly were not citizens when their parents brought them illegally to the United States. Many, not knowing their status until their mid-to-late teens, found pathways to careers and college closed as they lived in constant fear of deportation from the only home they've ever known. Circumventing Congress, the Obama Administration announced Friday they would stop deporting certain younger illegal immigrants who fit a specific criteria: those who were brought here at age 16 or younger; are presently age 30 or younger; have no criminal record; have been in the US for at least five continuative years; and have either a GED, a U.S. high school diploma or have served in the military.

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Republicans Fold On Payroll Tax Cut Fumble, Kick President's Dog On Way Down

Via White House by Pete SouzaCongress ends its session for the holidays on a whimper, not a bang as Congressional Republicans momentarily remembered that it really does make no sense to fight absolutely every stupid thing, even things they are for, simply because President Barack Obama might also like the thing. Congress unanimously passed the Payroll Tax Cut extension for two months so they can fight about it more in 2012.

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You're Getting A Payroll Tax Increase For Christmas (Maybe)

Down goes, Fraizer!Ah, checkmate. It's a tough position to be in. Looking at that Chess board with no real moves available. But what happens if you're in checkmate and you just refuse to admit it? Well, you get the current wannabe stalemate that's really a checkmate in Congress right now over the payroll tax.

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President Obama: Pass This *Damn* Jobs Bill (The Damn Is Implied)

President Barack Obama addresses a Joint Session of Congress in the House Chamber of the U.S. Capitol in Washington, D.C., Sept. 8, 2011. Vice President Joe Biden and House Speaker John Boehner are seated behind the President. (Official White House Photo by Chuck Kennedy)Last night President Obama addressed a joint session of Congress where he, repeatedly, told Congress to "pass this jobs bill." I'm sure he meant, "Pass this damn jobs bill, you unrepentant assholes," but the President always tries to keep his public swears to a minimum. Besides, he had no bone to pick with his team in Congress. All that implied "pass this mutha effer" was for the members of the Republican Party in Congress who enjoy holding up all appointments, filibustering everything and generally accusing the president of doing nothing for jobs when they have this tendency to make sure nothing ever happens by stalling, obfuscating, delaying and denying anything with Democratic Party, presidential whiff to it on Capitol Hill.

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Some GOPers Will Be No Shows For President's Job Speech Tonight, Possibly Because They're Jerks

President Barack Obama talks with Governor Rick Perry to express his concern for citizens of Texas impacted by the unprecedented fires, during a phone call in the Oval Office, Sept. 7, 2011. (Official White House Photo by Pete Souza)With the Obama Presidency (and the constant disrespect this President gets for having the nerve to be president), sometimes it's hard to tell if Republicans are being dicks because the president is a black guy or because the president is a Democrat.

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Tea Party Guy Allen West Threatens to Leave CBC Over Anti-Tea Party Rhetoric

The only Republican member of the Congressional Black Caucus, Rep. Allen West of Florida, is threatening to leave the caucus because of their adoption of the "Fight crazy with crazy" stance against the Tea Party. The same Tea Party that helped West get elected. Things can't be all that comfortable in the CBC for West, largely because the CBC is dominated by black Democrats who think he's a jerk. He goes on TV accusing them of being plantation overseers, then he tells his unemployed brother to go see those DNC "slave catchers" for help. So Rep. Maxine Waters, the Grand Marshall in the "fight crazy with crazy" brigade, slapped West down with much glee. It was awesome. We all loved it. Except West. Who now wants Waters and other CBC members to stop saying mean things about the various racist factions within the Tea Party. Waters, who most recently said "the Tea Party can go straight to hell," probably won't mourn the loss of West if he leaves. In fact, she'll probably name herself Grand Marshall of "Don't let the doorknob hit you where the Lord split you: Ding Dong, The West Has Left The CBC" party during the convention this month in D.C. That's going to be a great party. Buy your tickets now. (CBS News)

I Feel Like I've Been Writing A Lot About Maxine Waters Lately

When one thing happens that means there's usually nothing to see here. Two things? A coincidence. But when I was looking at my third "Hey, world! Did you hear that thing Rep. Maxine Waters of California said!" that's a trend, buddy. Over the weekend, Rep. Waters told a crowd that they needed to be fearless in their defense of issues and ideas they hold dear. That they should never allow themselves to be cowed or intimidated. In fact, she said she was afraid of no one, not even the Tea Party, then promptly shouted that "the tea party can go straight to hell."

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