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Entries in 2012 election (80)

Tuesday
May152012

Former President George W. Bush Endorses Mittens

The tradition of "rousing" GOP endorsements for Mittens continues! Taking a break from doing whatever former President George W. Bush does now (besides be grateful he's not president anymore), Bushie took the time to passive-aggressively endorse the GOP's latest weapon-of-choice.

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Wednesday
May092012

Santorum Passive-Aggressively Endorses Romney In Email

"What? Burying an endorsement in an email isn't cool these days? An endorsement is an endorsement, Jay. He's lucky I didn't write it out with flaming bags of dog poop."

Rick Santorum of the Losing-the-GOP-Nomination-Santorums doesn't like Mitt Romney. And not in that, "All is far in love and politics," "let's have a good ol' roudy-bout and give them a show" competitive sort of way. No. This is a real, tangible, deep-seated John McCain-esque dislike, where disdain is covered in a patina of smirk and a low register grumble. Where all smiles are asymmetrical, Dick Cheney style, and all endorsements are said through grit teeth. Or, in the case of Santorum endorsing My Fair Mittens via email.

Mad harsh, son.

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Wednesday
Apr112012

Mitt Romney Can See Clearly Now That the Rick Santorum Rain Is Gone

Glorious day! Mitt "Mittens" Romney has bounded from his winter dwelling and into springtime's nomination meadow. His old, thick winter hair coat now shed, and now the candidate is sporting a shorter, shiner new thicket of Ken doll like hair. But what has brought the rose back to his robotic cheeks? What has returned the dew to his eyes designed by a genetic lab in the basement of Monsanto?

Is it? Can it? Dare it be true?

DING-DONG THE SANTORUM IS DEAD!

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