Michele Bachmann: Newt Gingrich Debate Assassin

Of all the also-rans running for the GOP nomination the one that has shown the most growth during "America's Next Top Model: Wannabe Presidents Edition," is Michele Bachmann, who started out in the debates being blustering, then inconsistent, then non-existent in a few debates to wingnut assassin, vigorously going after anyone who might be winking at her Freeper base. Those are HER Freepers, dammit! Hand's off!

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All I Want For Christmas Is A Ron Paul Win In Iowa

The Iowa Caucuses are almost upon us and an EXCITING turn of events is taking place! Polls show that Crazy Libertarian Grandpa Ron Paul is only a few percentage points behind poll leader Newt Gingrich. As crazy as "poll leader Newt Gingrich" sounds, Ron Paul being within hand-to-hand combat distance of stealing this thing is even more exciting. Mostly because a Ron Paul win would throw the entire GOP race into crisis mode and who doesn't love a good ol' fashioned crises mode meltdown? Mitt Romney crying in a corner shouting, "What does it mean?" TV reporters tossing up their papers in frustration! News anchors being forced to interview Ron Paul and seriously talk about him as a "contender!" The Paulites going full-throttle on the Internet, trolling sites left and right saying "I TOLD YOU SO!"

I want this. I want this badly. Give it to me, ye' election Gods!

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Newt Gingrich Wants To Be Your Man While Your Romney Gently Weeps

Mitt Romney just can't catch a break! Just when The Cain Train finally derailed and crashed under the duress of lady scandals and abject stupidity, it was Newt Gingrich who got the poll bump. Going into the January caucuses, Newt is in the lead. Politico is reporting that Romney is looking to "reboot" himself, as if he's the Spider-Man film franchise or something. Maybe he could re-cast his campaign by keeping the name, but having actor Ryan Gosling run in his place?

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Herman Cain Has A Brain Fart Over Libya (Video)

Libya! Did Barack Obama have enough "intelligence" on the issue? You know? With all that diplomacy and CIA intelligence gathering and talking to generals and NATO allies and putting together a strategy that lead to Libyan leader Muammar Gaddafi getting all kinds of dead. But what would a BUSINESS MAN have done? Would he have listened to all the facts and alternatives? Herman Cain would have! Then he would have made the decision as the commander-in-chief. That's so obviously different than what Obama did, since he was a PRESIDENT (not a business man) while doing it! I kind of wish Cain would have skipped the "analysis" and just said, "Whatever President Obama did was wrong, even if it was right because that's what I've been told. Look hard enough at Obama and, folks, you'll find something wrong! That's what I believe." That's so much easier to remember.

Herman Cain crises are like Pokemon these days. You gotta catch them all.

Counting the Cain Crises One Cain-tastrophy At A Time

The Many Crises of Herman Cain: The list is still growing! Today I added more Cain Controversies to The Snob's running tally!

23) Princess Nancy

The Foot: During the CNBC Republican debate Herman Cain refers to former House Speaker and Democratic leader in the House, Nancy Pelosi, as "Princess Nancy." One of Cain's many "jokes," critics complain calling Rep. Pelosi a "princess" smacks of sexist insensitivity, not helping his growing rep as a lady harasser.

Read more more more!

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Poor Rick Perry Isn't Too Great At This Debate Thing

Young Rick Perry via Five Feet of FuryThere was another Republican debate last night, this time hosted by CNBC, the last TV bastion of our weary money barons and the pushers of "The War on Wealth" news story. But the only real headline to come out of this latest episode of "Survivor: GOP Presidential Primary," was that Rick Perry continues to stink at debating. "Oops," he did it again, y'all!

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Herman Cain: All The Single Ladies

"You want a job, right?"

-- What fourth sexual harassment accuser Sharon Bialek said pizza man president Herman Cain said to her when she asked him what he was doing with his hand up her skirt back in 1997.

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Monday, some blonde lady said back in 1997 Herman Cain groped her crotch and tried to get some sexual healing from her in a quid pro quo, "Ass For Jobs" program. It was hilarious. And sad. Gloria Allred, attorney to any woman at any time if there's cameras involved, was there. She said Cain tried to give single mom and life-long Republican Sharon Bialek his "stimulus package." And ... uh, huh huh. Har-de-har-har. Allred's got jokes.

Let the bets begin on when Cain will get out of the race! I say never. He's going all-the-way, baby.

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Gloria Allred Found Herself A Herman Cain Sexual Harassment Accuser

Past women's rights super lawyer Gloria Allred, who is now better known for her defense of any scandal-plagued woman attached to a TV camera, is holding a press conference today representing the fourth mystery woman to claim presidential candidate Herman Cain offered to play "hide the sausage" with her. Who will this woman be? What will she have to say? Will this make the scandal better or worse? Who knows! Or, maybe we'll know, come noon, when Allred and her mystery accuser take the microphone in New York City and make their sexual harassment claims known.

In other uncomfortable news: 48 percent of middle school through high school students are sexually harassed. That's 56 percent of girls and 40 percent of boys all in grades 7-12. Sexual harassment, folks, is not rare. But in junior high, just as in the workplace -- it's the doing anything about it that's rare. (H/T Gawker, Huffington Post)

Herman Cain Supporters Find Their Inner Clarence Thomas (Video)

HERMAN CAIN! Sick of hearing about him yet? TOO BAD! It's Fall and there's the smell of pine needles and SCANDAL in the air! Cain's all over your teevee and your blogs and your newspapers and your magazines! He's dominating your YouTubes! Causing a ruckus! I even wrote an extensive catalog of all his SCANDALS (19 and counting!) Today, everyone in Media Land is wondering if the National Restaurant Association will let one of those women folk who are accusing Cain of sexual harassment tell her side of the story. It's Scandal Thanksgiving out there, where TV advertisers for news networks express their gratitude to politicians for messing up just enough so they can turn their news apparatuses into tawdry, ratings-grabbin' gossips. 

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